An obstinate father?

Hello,
I am new to the forum, But I think that I have a problem that some of you have gone thru and I need some advice.
I am currently going thru the visa process for my Thai wife's two children. I am was informed by the US embassy that I need to either get the father of the youngest son to sign a paper allowing the son to come to America or a judgment form a Thai court giving custody to My wife. The Father wont sign the paper for less than 200,000.Bt. That is not going to happen. My wife and her x were never married and Thai law does not grant any parental rights to the father of the child. [b]I am asking for advice on how to proceed and if I need to hire a lawyer and any recommendations for a good lawyer in the Udon Thani area.
Thank you in advance for your advice.
Matt

A friend of mine went through the same thing.if the father does not have contant with the children your wife needs to go to court to apply for sole custody of the children,if the father has regular contact with the children it could get messy.Because at the end of the day he has the right to see his children even if he is a idiot .Just on a personal i still wonder how parents can just take a bit of money never to see there kids again .

Just a quick question, why do you say the father is an idiot? Your comment does not include that information.

Jack is correct!The problem is sometimes with the official you deal with such as those at the Foreign Ministry offices(passport)and Immigration officials(airport)!They can ''gum up the works'' by not allowing the child to get a passport or leave the country without the fathers permission,even though the Amphur issues the mother custody papers!It really is a hit and miss proposition,which can cause losses of fees and ticket costs,frustrating inconvenience and a change of plans!

I have experienced the renewal of the daughters passport being refused(2 different ofices,KK and UT,and know of 2 families that were stopped at the airport,plus I have read about others having problems at the airport!

I think the Embassy personel are aware of these type incidents and they were giving you the advice that would allow the childs exit from Thailand.

As I see it,you have 3 options!You can go through the time and the costs of the legal process,hoping he doesn't contest it,You can apply for passport,get lucky and gamble at the airport,hoping to get lucky(many have had success),incurring the time and costs if it doesn't work or you can enter into some serious negotiations with the dad!

Good Luck and be prepared!

We had to hire a lawyer and go through the court system as the child had her fathers family name which we had changed to her mothers maiden name. That only cost us 5000 Baht. As Jack said the rest is a matter for the Amphur Office where we had to provide enough witnesses to convince the powers that be that the child had been abandoned by the father. That cost me another 5000 Baht as one of TW's brothers did not turn up and a bit of tea money was hinted at to make that problem go away.

This is where you will have a problem if you can't prove abandonment.

EDIT: Now when I come to think about it after re reading Stans comments it was the reverse, we first proved abandonment then did the court thing to get sole custody and name change. AND yes there was a problem when we came to renew her passport 5 years down the track because we didn't take ALL the paper work with us to KK -- two bloody trips.

Bandung_Dero wrote:We had to hire a lawyer and go through the court system as the child had her fathers family name which we had changed to her mothers maiden name. That only cost us 5000 Baht. As Jack said the rest is a matter for the Amphur Office where we had to provide enough witnesses to convince the powers that be that the child had been abandoned by the father. That cost me another 5000 Baht as one of TW's brothers did not turn up and a bit of tea money was hinted at to make that problem go away.

This is where you will have a problem if you can't prove abandonment.

How long did it take to go through the court process and did the father show up?

The father doesn't sound like an idiot to me, just a greedy guy who sees a chance to turn his previous pleasure into some cash. Most Thais believe that farangs have a lot of money and spend it foolishly, and in fact, we often do.

No, he left when TW was only a few months pregnant never to be seen again.

Not long, less than a month if I remember correctly. Shlt that was 9 years ago. The only witness we needed there was TW's mother with the lawyer and paper work, TW and I didn't even go into the court.

The father has not been in the picture since the son was 6 mo old. He has lived in the next village and has never contributed to the upbringing of the son. Everybody in his family has asked him to sign the paper. We have gone to the umpur and have had a paper stating that the father has no custody rights. The son has a Thai passport but the us embassy wants a custody paper or court judgment. The father wont sign the paper or take 30,000. bt to do it (which by the way he is dirt poor and owes his whole family money) cause he says that he doesn't care if it will make his son happy he just wants to make it hard on My wife. So yes indeed he is an idiot.

Convert the 30 K to 100 baht notes,present the pile of money to him in its entirety with another discussion,while telling him ,you are going to pursue an outcome from the courts,calling in witnesses to show and tell that he says and shows no interest in the welfare or future of his children!

Sometimes the visual presentation can be very persuasive,especially if he thinks there is a chance that he will get nothing if you should prevail legally!!

Or take 20,000 and arrange an accident. (joking)

Stan's suggestion sounds persuasive.

My wife divorced the kids father when the youngest was 6 months old. That was over 16 years ago. He has never helped in the raising of the kids or contributed to their needs as they were growing up. He lives about a half mile from us.

Last year the father call the younger and complained, "Why didn't you come to my birthday party?"
My son replied, "Why didn't you come to mine?!"

These fathers that don't involve themselves with their kids are total idiots and are missing out on a great part of life. And, that is true, not just in Thailand but, everywhere around the world.

I'd say make him "the father" an offer he can't refuse.200000 baht is his asking price.I imagine if ya deal with him in the right way you'll make out better.In other words have your lawyer negociate an amount and go from there.

Hi All
I had this situation when I bought my family to Australia, the childrens legal father didn't want to sign the form, he had nothing to do with the chilren after the son was born after the divorce.
My wife had been living back her parents home and went to court with her parents and one sister who testified that the ex had not given any support to the her and kids and was granted sole custody no problems.
We used a lawyer friend and I think it was 10-15K.
Barry