ATM? or Respect...Whats the difference?

I can only tell you or recent experiences, Being a "Hands on" type of person I have always tried to help people as much as I can having believed in the principle that ...."if he can do it...there is no reason I cant...but it might take a little longer!!" Now in my country... Good old "Tax you to Death" England... this works well on a barter system, I fix someones M/Cycle and they return the favour by eg:fixing the hole in my roof..( and before you say it..yes I could fix the hole myself but its easier to fix the M/Cycle and is only an example to the fact!)...In Thailand I have found it different...The last visit I paid to the GF'S farm I pulled out both their M/Cycles,borrowed some tools,repaired one but had to condemn the other,then set about repairing some bits around the farm,now as a "Farang" it might have been more expected, to as it were, to "Flash the Plastic" and get the locals to do the repairs to show what a wealthy catch I am for their daughter (they ain't seen my bank statements..Boy are they in for a shock!)..anyway, I done this because it needed doing and I wanted to do it, not to impress her parents or to obtain favours, and what I learnt is that in Thailand not everything is financialy motivated (contrary to popular western belief) and that real respect comes from the heart not from an ATM, we drove her sister and 13mth old baby boy home to Chon buri and during the trip the baby was very ill,I like anyone else would in the same situation, pulled in at the 1st chemist I found and bought some medicine for him, when we returned to the farm in Surin his father knew what had happened and paid me back 3 fold in gifts! ..... I'm not quite sure what I'm trying to say here except to those who have never been to the LOS....Its a different world and a different culture, I find that you get more real respect through your actions than you'll ever get using an ATM.....

I agree with you,panick!I find that in Thailand,verses the USA,respect for ''actions'' is less often given Also,getting involved in the ''favor''exchange is a setup which can put me in a position to definitely say''no''!Like you,I do favors,but I am very careful about the acceptance of favors.When I do accept a favor from Thais,I show ''much'' gratitude and then ''qualify'' the situation by getting a clear understanding ,from them,that I don't finance,loan or borrow money with anyone,anytime!

You are indeed lucky to have a family giving you respect!Chok Dee

Gee now there are three of us that understand this concept of not trying to buy folks or love.

Goes back to the golden rule. If you try to buy someone they will treat you like an ATM. If you try to help someone help themselves, they will then try to help you.

Go figure, something as old as the golden rule still applies.