Families

OK, there seems to be a fair few decent guys on this forum, and a few who reckon they know what is best.

Right, put your brains into action...ready?

How the hell can you get a Thai mother and brother to wise up and stop being stuck in the dark ages and let their 38 year old daughter/older sister, do what she wants?

Is there a magic trick? How about money, gold, mind altering drugs?

Help.

Marry the girl and pay a whopping sin-sod, then refurb the Moms house and subsidise the brothers, gambling, drinking and whoring habits...tongue it cheek but may be the answer.

It would be nice to know more of the details - but at 38 it would not be unknown that she is part of the problem, not the solution.

I didn't want to make everyone go to sleep with details, but here goes.
My GF is a nurse and a Major in the Thai army. She earns very little, 20500 B/month. I am a nurse in Australia and earn that in 1 week.
She has a 20 month old son from her previous marriage, father was a gambler and left her with debts and a bad credit rating. I have sorted most of this out with money and solicitors.
She lives with her mum and 'uncle' in a house which her mum owns 70% of, and she has a loan for the other 30%, meaning she owns 30%
Her father, a soldier, was killed 29 years ago fighting communists in Laos.
She has 2 brothers, one an engineer in Bangkok, one a petrol station attendant in UT.
Her mother (58, and fit) has a business, 12 rooms they let out, though they are never all occupied.

I want her and her son to live with me in Australia, where, once her English improves, she can be a nurse. Her very smart little boy can also have a great education. She wants to live in Aus, at least for a little while, and I formulated a deal, live in Aus for 5 years, get my house paid off, I do a course in eg accupuncrure, sell up, go and live in Thailand before mum gets too old. Everyone benefits.

Mum says NO. Her are brother in BKK want her to stay in Thailand, because she has a government job (which pays nothing), and to look after mum's business when she gets too old. Like I said, we would be back before then, but mum's business involves collecting money every month.

Everyone all round recognises that everyone would benefit from her living with me in Aus, both personally and financially, but NO, for some unknown pig-headed reason he family won't let her.

OK?

Get a new one. There's loads of WFB's about without all that baggage.

OT....

Thanks for your valuable input, time for the meds old timer.

Pete, I thought you were a "restauranteur" about to set up a new business in Udon, not a nurse about to take a course in acupuncture.

Anyway, in the scenario you outline, I'd tend to agree with her family. 20k Baht a month is good money for Thai people, and she has a good career, with prospects. Why jack it all in to go off to another country to live with a foreigner, (from a different culture) and find after 6 months or a year it all goes "pear shaped" and she comes back home with nothing and has to start all over again?

Or if you want an additional cynical slant, better she stays here with her good job, and you stay there with yours (and you send her money to top up her funds as and when). She can continue to live her life here, "Thai style", be with her family and help her family as required.

Sorry, but you did ask?

Thanks, about as useful as a chocolate fireguard.

If she were to come here it would be as my wife, and incase you didn't realise, pearshaped=she gets half of all I have.
Also, I have found wanking while viewing a webcam is over rated.

petemcc wrote:If she were to come here it would be as my wife, and incase you didn't realise, pearshaped=she gets half of all I have.
Also, I have found wanking while viewing a webcam is over rated.

Pete, well you did ask.

I always try and see things from both perspectives. I.e. I was trying to see it how her family might see it.

With regards to your last sentence, - I've never tried it, so I don't know.

The first perspective is a bag of *****. I wasn't asking for empathy for the family's lack of rational thought, I was asking for solutions. How about seeing it from my perspective and using your knowledge to help rather than take the piss. Oh and btw, I have been a few things in my life and have many skills.

Well then, is her position in the Army on a permanent on-going basis, or a for a limited period? If she was due to finish a contracted period say next year, then that might be something to work towards. In a civilian job, one maybe able to take 6 months out on a "sabbatical" or similar, -- thus allowing her to go and test the water. I don't suppose Thai army officers could do that?

Could you perhaps tempt her with the thought of working as a nurse in OZ, from some later date?

As someone else mentioned, are the family the true obstacle? What does she think?

Good luck.

I thought I already covered that in my post above:
"I want her and her son to live with me in Australia, where, once her English improves, she can be a nurse."
She would therefore earn more here in 4 years than 16 in LOS. That is the basis of my submission that her family's POV is wnak.

She wants to come, but it's her mum. We all know that in reality her mum should respect her no mtter what she decides but she doesn't want to risk losing her-remember she really lost her dad!

petemcc wrote:I have found wanking while viewing a webcam is over rated.

OT won't be eating in your restaurant.

ever.

OT..........

But I may end up sticking needles in your body