in need of advice, my gf her family and our baby.

Hi, I'm a 25 year old English man and I've been with my Thai gf for about a year and a half, she's 23 and she's carrying our child.
I'm worried about what I should do, I've got the best interests of my girl and baby to think about.
I'm worried about a lot of things, mainly money. She wants me to come and stay with her family in the countryside.
I'm not a rich guy and cant afford sin sod and marriage yet, but want to show my commitment to her and respect for her family and their traditions, I'm a good working class man and don't want to mess things up. Any advice would be really helpful....

Welcome hdmark. My personal opinion is forget life in Thailand for now. Marry her legitimately, which would at least give your baby a farang surname and a good chance of getting them both back to England. You could carry on your current work. Your partner would possibly be able to do something to contribute to the household expenses. You would get state aided sickness benefit, child allowances and many other benefits too numerous to mention. Possibly even a house if you don't already have one.Eventually even an education for the child, far superior to anything you could get here, even if you had a lot of money.The alternative to live in Thailand is really unthinkable for a young man trying to bring up a family, unless he has substantial funds available.I will leave the pitfalls of trying to earn a living here to other members with more knowledge of the subject than me., especially for someone of such tender age.
Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Very sensible advice TB....
I doubt if you will get better advice hdmarks....

yes i agree good advise , assuming that is , that the girl wants to live in a foriegn country , by his post , i think that could be in doubt . they dont all want to be in the land of milk and honey !!! i also assume that they have had a long distance relationship , as he states he is a working man . one thing is for sure there is very little chance of him moving here and being able to support himself , let alone her and a child . my advice would be , marry the girl legally , keep the long distance relationship going for a year or so , support the wife and child financialy . see how things develope and then if she is happy too ,ship her over to england , with or without the child to start with . dont think as a european , think as a thai !! many children are raised by the family here , im not saying its right or wrong , but it is a fact . that way it give you time to see if your wife can indeed settle in england , before involving an infant to a stressful transition period . yes , give the child a western education , but you have time on your side . whatever you choose , i wish you luck . some of the hardest decisions involve the heart .

and no sin sot, you are going to take care of 'your' family, and you can't do that by giving money away. especially if asking for a high figure, then i would wonder about the motives. good advice above, good luck.

Take it nice and slow and don't feel pushed into anything, set up means of sending money, cheap form of communicating and good deals of flights, things go a lot slower here so don't worry so much that you have to resolve all now.
You have made a good start contacting the forum, some may have had the same experience as yourself.
Good luck hdmarks

Trubirt sums it up,Yes get them back to UK.....let the little one grow up with an education provided by the state with free healthcare a uk passport etc...you will have ups and downs, she will be bored (even with a baby)...and be homesick at times, but you got to battle through that it is not all ways plain sailing like you are on a 3 week holiday, she will want money sent over to look after the parents (monthly maybe)....but you got to be firm on the amounts,does pops work..? what about bros and other sisters..? remember you got her and the baby to think about firstly ...parents come second,(yeah yeah i know Thai family tradition and that,) that will take a while to come into the picture but sure you will see it eventually....is she about to drop...? or is it early days..?, if early days you could tie the whole thing up with her willing of course, but if not could wait a while after the babs is born...only advice but all things to consider.
But getting them to uk will be a big worry off your shoulders, but obviously she would have to be up for it overwise it surely will be grief....could you live away from your child for long periods of time once you have bonded with her/him..?

if you stayed in Thailand what about money coming in...being as you are 25.?

As has been said, the big question is how could you support yourself in Thailand. Apart from teaching English, there are very few jobs you would be allowed to do (and teaching English is not a solution to rely upon, long term and you need the aptitude for it). Remember you will need a visa - and there are financial qualifications to the annual visas, which you would probably find very hard to meet unless you are a man of independant means, which you have indicated you are probably not.

Unless her family are rich and can support you, you have to look at the practical needs - and that means maintaining an income. Agree a reasonable sum for her support (think Thai, not uk needs).Your girlfriend may not be aware of the visa restrictions us farangs have to meet to stay in Thailand.

Thinking outside the box, one option which might make life easier, consider emigrating to Australia if you have the skills they need. Much closer to Thailand, easier to visit.

Finally, do not know any background (no need to tell us), but always walk into any relationship with your eyes open - love can blind you.

Finally, there is a wealth of help on this forum - read it. I am glad i did - i read everything i could before coming. Some advice is from some very cynical people, but get a balance, be prepared, know your options.

Listen to True Brit yuo want to make a little money in Thailand bring a lot. it will be a little before you know it. Secure you and your families future first.

Trubrit is on the money with this one for sure!!!

hdmarks,,, the advice you're getting here is invaluable, listen to the forum members, many have been thru similar circumstances. The only thing I could possibly add is a repeat of the part about the child. IF you are absolutely sure the child is yours, then you should definitely acknowledge the paternity of the child, which for a start would require a correct birth certificate and probably your information on their house registration. The UK might be different but the U.S. requires you to file a "report of birth abroad" with the Embassy that acknowledges paternity. That's something the other Brits on this forum can address. That should at least start the ball rolling for your kid. Your desire to do the right thing for your girlfriend and kid is commendable but like other posters wrote,,,, don't let love/desire blind you.
Good Luck.

your main concern is your new family and what is best for them. her family survived before you arrived, and will survive when she will be one less burden on the family. and when in england and set up, maybe part time job and send money home if she wants. what she makes there in a few days will be a months pay in thailand. the rest she banks as you do for your family. that will also give here pocket money and make there almost self supporting.

take is slow, read the forum, and WBU sections for some heads up you may not of thought of, and hopefully will not experience. good luck and keep us posted.

Some sage advice given but no response from OP yet. Anyone else have doubts that this is the genuine article? He comes into a public forum with his first post to ask for advice whether or not it is a good idea for him at the tender age of 25 to move from England to the Thai countryside to live with his pregnant Thai gf?

Say, has anyone heard from the mighty one lately?

Besides, for an Englishman, his use of English is abysmal. Intentionally so, maybe?

Polehawk,,,, I think most understand your point and probably reflected upon same. Most seem to be attempting to be welcoming and non-confrontational given the recent past experience with other newbies. Give the OP the benefit of the doubt, so to speak. Doesn't cost one anything and maybe it's on the level...... If it's not, then we move on, none the worse, right?

possible i s'pose...still , a good talking topic...and i get to see my name on the screen when posting...perfect.