Making the Transition

Travelled and lived in many countries, definetly helped me survive the last 6 years in Thailand without being scammed or murdered.
Semperfiguy, cheer up mate its not all that bad just gotta relax a bit.

Accept for a year in the 70s, as a misspent youth, where I bummed around Europe and the UK all my foreign travel was work related from the pits of Ghana on the West coast of Africa to the high life of Dallas, Tx. So after all that I think I could adapt to most places so long as atmospheric conditions don't trigger my 'Hay Fever', a big problem I have in my home country. Wouldn't call it a living hell hole but any asthma or hay fever sufferers will know what I'm on about.

My last working trip was to Bangkok with Chevron, a 2 week contract which dragged on for 3 years. I basically never went home (to live). Very easy to adapt and still comfortable 10 years down the track.

Got no idea what I'd do in Semperfiguy's situation.

jackspratt wrote:How many of you who have settled in here long term, have lived for a period of time in different country (different culturally as well as geographically) to which you were born?

Do you think this made a difference in being able to adapt to life in Thailand, given that so many try, and fail to make the transition.

to what extent are expatriates difficulties a function of the cultural patterns they encounter in the host culture and to what extent are they determined by the culturally learned patterns expatriates carry as members of their home cultures?

Very difficult question also for those who have lived and worked around the world b4.

I still enjoy living in Udon and i've lived in few countries b4.

Only ever lived in the UK. Now 70 years old, have been here nearly 6 years....happy as a pig in sh!t !!!!!!!.

Not been back to the UK for 3 years, but going back with my wife in 6 weeks time, for business/family reasons.

Dreading it !

Jack, cudos for a very interesting topic. I am not there yet, but will say I have lived as expat for short periods in other western countries.
Even between western countries the culture difference can be surprisingly big, so it must really be a jump to settle in Thailand. Semperfiguy, I believe I read somewhere the first 6-12 months in a new country is hell, but then it gets better as you adjust yourself and overcome initial burdens. Luck !

Dear Semperfiguy,

I can understand your reaction but all things you have to put into perspective. The drivers, although somewhat crazy and oblivious of the traffic laws, are still not the worst in the world. I would easily put drivers from Cairo, Eygpt in that group along with Nigerians and Moscowvites. Poor neighborhoods exist everywhere. If the one you are in puts you on edge, look around and find one that better suits you. Find some guys that you feel comfortable with and hang out with them. Everyone I have encountered has been friendly and courteous to me since I have been in Thailand. No conflicts except with an ex-Thai wife but that is to be expected. Find some interests that will keep you busy and you won't be so aware of the things that bother you. Flexibility and becoming a bit laid back helps a great deal, Probably my Southern background helps with this as well. Just hang in there and it will improve.

Dr. James

wayne747 wrote: Semperfiguy, I believe I read somewhere the first 6-12 months in a new country is hell, but then it gets better as you adjust yourself and overcome initial burdens. Luck !

True enough, there is no point in comparing things like for like when you're in a place that doesn't use the same language let alone the same alphabet. The food, climate, social behaviour of the locals together with everything else will be nothing like you've been used to. It doesn't make you right and the Thai's wrong. It's the way they live and they don't have a problem with it. I've never heard of a Thai person ever complain about any of the things Semperfiguy has.
I personally shoot the street dogs at night with my catapult, I even wake the kids up to join in, they thoroughly enjoy it. When my American neighbour got drunk and started abusing my family and property I smaked him in the teeth, it did the job. I don't find the rest of the Thai people in the neighborhood rude, they just have there ways of doing things. A Thai person would not give a passing thought to the things that can irritate a falang.
As for making the transition, you can live in UT unhappy without attempting to make the transition, or you can make an effort to blend in and be happy enough. It's up to you.

OT...........

Semperfiguy.



France, Spain, Netherlands, Madagascar, Guyane, Tsjaad, Djibouti, Cambodia, Birma. And Thailand, Where i come on a 1 year visa continius from 1995. So i have see and feel the diverence between the LOS anno 1995 and the Non LOS what it is now! ( Happy are them the find a wife around that time or earlyer )

But "happyness" could this be related to age and expectations?

Now i realy thinking about Vietnam fore my next journey and to build a live there, Afther my "Happy moments" in Thailand.

Iff it is bether there? I don't know, But i keep trying.

But I don't have business or a wife or anny other commitment (!), so I'm not jailed and free to go where i want, Iff i don't like it.

Frans.

jackspratt wrote:How many of you who have settled in here long term, have lived for a period of time in different country (different culturally as well as geographically) to which you were born?

Do you think this made a difference in being able to adapt to life in Thailand, given that so many try, and fail to make the transition[?]

I've spent significant time in various countries on every continent except Antartica. "Significant time" as opposed to "lived" because I consider "lived" to infer that I changed my legal address - which I never did before Thailand.

It definitely helped adapting because of the chameleon skills one develops from exposure to so many different cultures becomes second nature. Without those skills, there is culture shock. I think the culture shock is what gets most newbies. They expect things to be pretty much the same as in their home country and refuse to embrace the many required paradigm shifts to be able to live a happy and satisfied life in LOS.

As long-timers know, once you accept and adapt to the new paradigms, life really IS just like back home and it becomes puzzling why others find it so difficult. For example, you think of Nit or Dow just as you would Patricia or Carla back home rather than as two "Thai chicks". You stop swatting flies around your food and/or simply eat the ant that wandered onto your plate. You don't even consider buying laced shoes when shopping for new kicks. You stop noticing or questioning why there are so many pictures of the guy in the big chair all over the place. (For Americans) you stop buying toilet paper for anything other than to wipe your mouth after a good meal. You don't miss bread or milk with your meals anymore. You get upset when a traffic light goes up since you know it will cause MORE accidents and traffic jams, not less. I could go on, and others have their own lists, I am sure.

Having lived or spent time elsewhere, it is just a matter of hitting the ground and thinking "ok, so what do I need to do differently to fit in here?" rather than "OMFG these people are nuts!" and "My way is the only way" sort of thinking.

Good topic, JS!

PS - "Newbies" defined as frequent visitors who come to live or those who have been in-country less than 2 consecutive years.

I suppose i am still a newbie by Khondam's thinking, but have been visiting for 3 years and living here for the last 5 months. I have resided in many countries (France, Slovakia, Libya, Ghana, Australia, Hong Kong) and visited many more; by resided i mean have stayed as more than just a tourist, either working or staying with friends and relatives for more than a few weeks). Some countries do get to you and feel like paradise in some way, and it can take a few months for the novelty to wear off. I would also say that NO COUNTRY will ever live up to all your expectations.

I do think that having these experiences can help, especially if you get involved and not just play the tourist. But some people can spend years in a country and never adapt in any way (basically recreate their own comfort zone and never break the shell). I smiled at Khondam's reference to ignoring the flies and eating the ant! Very true. Personally, yes, some of the things Thai's do without thinking would be offensive in the UK, but i have found my neighbours to be friendly and go out of there way to be helpful. Yes, there is a lot i miss, but some of it can be sorted out and the positives still outweigh the negatives. Driving was no where as bad as i feared, as said, try driving in Africa! You have to understand the culture IS different and you either embrace it or ignore it; fighting it is a waste of time - it will change when the Thais want it to.

So not planning a withdrawal.

anyone who has lived in a foreign culture for six months or more can attest to the difficulty of adjustment. The severity of culture shock may vary, but it affects all of us..even people with lots of travel experience in many diiferent countries are often unable to use this experience to be more effective in each subsequent intercultural encounter..when we use a BE LIKE ME approach to explain the behaviour of others we are often wrong because thier behaviour may not be based on the same goals and motives as ours..much of our behaviour is programmed by culture at a very deep level on consciousness, and often we are unaware of this influence. behaviour that is normal to us may seem abnormal or even bizarre to cutlurally different others.
one needs to be flexible and skilled about understanding a culture, learning from it, from your own interactions with it, and gradually resharping your thinking to be more sympathetic to the culture..I believe one first needs knowledge of culture, and the fundmental principles of cross cutlural interactions..knowing what culture is, how cultures vary, and how culture affects behaviour..one needs to practice mindfulness, to pay attention in a reflective and creative way to cues in cross cultural situations..once you have the knowledge and mindfulness, then you will develope appropriate a repetoire of behavioural skills to suit most situations..
you need to be like Proteus, adaptable..
we are all different , yet all too often we expect everyone to be like us.if they dont do things the way we do them , we assume something is wrong with them..why some of us cant think outside our little cultural rulebooks, and accept and enjoy, perhaps see why some stay and some go back home..

A perfect summary Maaka but some can never change their own mindset and thereby contribute to their own unhappiness. We really do have it in our own hands .

maaka wrote:anyone who has lived in a foreign culture for six months or more can attest to the difficulty of adjustment. The severity of culture shock may vary, but it affects all of us..even people with lots of travel experience in many diiferent countries are often unable to use this experience to be more effective in each subsequent intercultural encounter..when we use a BE LIKE ME approach to explain the behaviour of others we are often wrong because thier behaviour may not be based on the same goals and motives as ours..much of our behaviour is programmed by culture at a very deep level on consciousness, and often we are unaware of this influence. behaviour that is normal to us may seem abnormal or even bizarre to cutlurally different others.
one needs to be flexible and skilled about understanding a culture, learning from it, from your own interactions with it, and gradually resharping your thinking to be more sympathetic to the culture..I believe one first needs knowledge of culture, and the fundmental principles of cross cutlural interactions..knowing what culture is, how cultures vary, and how culture affects behaviour..one needs to practice mindfulness, to pay attention in a reflective and creative way to cues in cross cultural situations..once you have the knowledge and mindfulness, then you will develope appropriate a repetoire of behavioural skills to suit most situations..
you need to be like Proteus, adaptable..
we are all different , yet all too often we expect everyone to be like us.if they dont do things the way we do them , we assume something is wrong with them..why some of us cant think outside our little cultural rulebooks, and accept and enjoy, perhaps see why some stay and some go back home..

Excellent!Recognizing and understanding is the main key!Doesn't mean you have to like it or emulate it or assimilate,although those that do,usually find more peace of mind.Personally,I am of the opposite mindset,not assimilating,but maintaining my own ideals and customs as I choose,while patronizing the home culture.My lack of acceptance toward some of the ''host culture/customs'' is readily dissipated by revealing my feelings to friends ,if needed, or a momentary private comment to myself ,at the moment I feel it!
Since ,I have always been a malcontent in my own culture,the transition and practice has come naturally