Married Name

Hi,

Rung and I are getting married in November, after being together for 5 years. She has the house in Udon and I live in the UK, coming over twice a year. We are going to apply for a UK settlement visa next year, although I think she will want to spend more time back home than in the UK. I have a few more years before I retire, I am 58. She is 31.

She doen't want to change her surname to mine, which I would like. Her reasons being that as soon as anyone knows she is married to a farang they will charge her more and treat her differently.

Has anyone else have had this when they got married. Is she right. Won't it cause a problem coming over the the UK?

thanks

Hi Nick,

That rationale does not hold water. My wife carries my last name and she always gets the Thai price and when we visit Laos, she gets the Lao price because she can speak Lao. No one asks her last name when purchasing goods. If you are standing there she will get the Farang price otherwise it will be the same. When we are going or coming to Thailand, we always go through the Thai passport line so the advantage is the same as if my wife had a Thai name. It probably looks better to the immigration officers that she is indeed your legal spouse because she does carry your last name. I would have to think that there are deeper issues at play here.
Best of luck,
Dr. James

Whether or not there are ''others issues here'' or not,I think she might have a good point.I think being married too a falang is status lowering in eyes of many Thais.There are many situations where the ''falang name'' might hinder or cause her discomfort,especially if she accepts the ''lowered status '' premise in her thinking.
I wouldn't make a big deal out of it,let it be her choice as she should know best in Thailand!

Hi Dr james, I can definitely say there are no deeper issues.
NKstan .. cheers. I'm not making a big deal, as it doesn't really bother me one way or the other. just a bit concerned about not having the name when she comes over here. if we decide to live in Thailand then its not an issue for me
thanks

you can make like i do:

1. The firsth i legaly married my wife in Thailand and she keeps her thai name in her idcard and passport etc.
2. I registrate ower marriege in sweden (where i come frome) by a registration in the taxgowerment
3. In sweden my wife has bouth her name and my name (doublename) which clear the situation all the way and my wife has now a lifetime visa in sweden.

Regards Kjell

I discouraged my wife from changing her surname to mine when we married in Thailand. There was no good reason for her to take my name and many possible advantages to not taking it. Family names are much more important in Thailand than they are in the west. It is not possible for Thai people to change their family names without the permission of the family whose name they are assuming. It is not possible to make up a family name as they are controlled by the government.

When we shop for expensive items she always checks out things before the retailer knows she is married to a farang. Even when she has negotiated a price it will sometimes go up when I show up to pay. Then we just move on. While there are few times when her family name is important for retail transactions it can be important for getting government services. People with Thai surnames are usually served prior to those with foreign surnames.

My wife doesn't advertise her marriage to a farang and usually keeps it to herself until she knows someone well. She says people treat her differently when they know she is married to a farang. Sometimes that is good and sometimes bad.

Also, in the US having a Thai name sets her apart from others and establishes her as a minority even before they ask the questions of sex and race. Being a minority is an advantage in many areas, including employment. Her having a different family name has never been an issue in the US. We have never been asked to provide proof of marriage for other than immigration purposes either here or in the US.

I am glad there are no deeper issues but in my circumstance. My sincere apologies for any offense given.

My wife and I live outside of Thailand and outside of the USA. It has helped immensely for her to carry my last name in her passport in dealing with immigration, security, banks, employment, insurance, and such. In many cases it has saved us the hassle of bringing along marriage papers and translations. In Western countries I don't think it matters as much.

In terms of Thailand, I don't worry about how I am viewed as a farang. I can't change the cultural perception. I am glad my wife chose to use my last name and glad that it will be the one my children will use as well.

Its very easy to change your name in Thailand, its done in the local Ampher office and takes about five minutes, maybe she could change her name for England and change it again when back in Thailand.

DRJames, no offence taken

Thanks guys. Looks like its not a problem then for her to keep her name. She tells me to stay in the car sometimes when she goes to buy something as she knows they will charge her more if they see me.

If she does decide to live permantently in the UK it would be probably best to change it. We'll see what happens.

thanks

Hi,
When i got married to a Thai lady, and she kept her own surname. I had nothing but trouble in my own country in reg. the marriage. If i did not reg. the marriage, she would not be able to claim a widows pension, or the approx 100,000B death grant. if anything happen to me. Also 50% of my work pension. Also i could not claim for her on my income tax, This by the way is not in the U.K.. It is worth checking with your goverment to get the full and correct facts on this. It will cost you nothing but your time, and you will get the correct information. If you are in a union you will be able to get a meeting with a solicitor, or the likes, for free.
When my wife changed her name to mine there was no problem, and everything was sorted out. She is treated the same way by other Thai people, in LOS, and is not looked down on, for marring a none Thai., as some people have said.
And i have been made most welcome whereever i go in LOS. This is why i like the place.
Cheers Doug.

douglas wrote:When my wife changed her name to mine there was no problem, and everything was sorted out. She is treated the same way by other Thai people, in LOS, and is not looked down on, for marring a none Thai., as some people have said.
And i have been made most welcome whereever i go in LOS. This is why i like the place.
Cheers Doug.

Hi Doug I agree totally with you. My wife could not wait to change her name and to proudly show her new ID card to everyone she could find. When I asked her if she wanted to keep her maiden name she looked at me like I was crazy.