Thailand Causes Global Warming

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 1:33 am

Well, here you go, the answer to global warming, and better than that, the culprits are identified.

As the following ditty proves without a doubt, global warming is caused by pollution in the big cities.

Taxis are at the heart of the problem, in particular, taxi drivers from Isaan going to the big cities and emitting noxious gases (the taxis, not the drivers, are responsible for the gases!) .

Courtesy of Jintara Poonlarp, we have all of the answers to this one problem. Shut down the taxis, keep the drivers in Isaan, and the worldwide pollution issue is solved.

Post by **Fawn** » July 16, 2009, 1:50 am

That lady should be running the country, Uncle Tilo. Can't she blow away the Bangkok pollution by flapping her ears?

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 2:03 am

It is possible but highly unlikely unless Jintara is joined by that paragon of virtue - the green Prince Charles. How Camilla and Jango would react to them flapping their wings together is beyond my comprehension, but it does leave one feeling all warm and fuzzy and clean inside.

Let me take that back. There is no way brave Jintara should be transforming the fetid air to the cleanest air in this solar system with our beloved future ruler

Can Prince Charles do the hokey-pokey, 'that's what life is all about'?

So many questions, so little time..

Post by **Fawn** » July 16, 2009, 2:08 am

You mean the 'Hokey Cokey', great mate of the Dominions.

Speaking of HRH the Prince of Wales and Global Warming, how about signing up to this?

http://www.rainforestsos.org/

Did Thailand ever have a rainforest?

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 2:19 am

This gives Prince Charles something to do rather than fritting away his life on websites discussing conspiracy theories. Furthermore, he has Kermit the Frog and Robert Mugabe on board as devoted followers.

How can Jintara compare to this?

On the other hand, she is more direct and visually appealing.

The Prince should adopt the bob-style and see if he can cover up those wings.

I believe he is coming to Canada sometime soon. I will ask him about Jintara if his party ventures this way. Let's see how well-informed he is.

Maybe if Jintara's pink party takes the next election seriously, and gets backing from the right people, she might just become the next all-knowing leader of this pleasant land.

Post by **Fawn** » July 16, 2009, 2:29 am

Aah, they're not doing too badly with regard to emissions....well at least in 1991 anyway.

Source: http://www.tdri.or.th/library/quarterly/text/s91_2.htm

World Resources Institute estimates show that Thailand emits 1.13 percent of the world's net increase of atmospheric greenhouse gases, 67 million of 5.9 billion tons of carbon, or about 6.7 percent of U.S. emissions. In emissions per capita, Thailand emits 1.3 tons per head, slightly above the world average of 1.2 tons. Per capita emissions for the U.S., the U.K., Japan, Malaysia, and South Korea are 4.1, 2.7, 1.8, 1.6 and 0.7 tons, respectively.

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 2:46 am

Yes, but the increase of taxi-drivers from Isaan into Bangkok since that time, 18 years ago, has been phenomenal.

This exact report is referred to by Jintara in the song...is it not? She seems to suggest it is out-of-date...something like my views on politics, music, fashion, marriage, conspiracies, Crystal Palace, the Canadian rugby team, education, worms and so on.

Why doesn't Saint get Prince Charles and his aristocratic brigage to get to his land and shoot up the bleeding worms? Since they are not able to send foxes to kingdom come anymore, it might be useful for them to help a fellow patriot out by blasting the little blighters. Dick Cheney could join them. Apparently, he is an excellent shot.

Post by **Fawn** » July 16, 2009, 2:59 am

You have raised some interesting points, I can't wait for the day I attend one of your lectures.

Are the worms on Doug's front lawn a direct result of Global Warming?

Where would Doug put HRH up if he came to visit?

Is Doug confident enough to converse in German with HRH?

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 3:26 am

You will rue the day that you attend one of my lectures unless you hit a lucky day when you do not have to hear me drone on and on, but you can see one of any number of documentaries about Angkor Wat, the movie, 'Year of Living Dangerously', the Attack of the Worm People who take over your body whilst you Sleep, the on-going-never ending conspiracy hearings, and inspiring speeches by Sondhi.

If the Saint does not have fitting accommodation for the nobility, they can always stay at the Karin Hotel...in the new wing, of course. Prince Charles might be able to whittle down the 600 baht/night fee to a more respectable 550 baht, with European breakfast. The Saint might have to hire what Kings of Mataram called the little people, imported from Java, to pick up the shells, but that should not be too expensive.

I forgot about the German bit. Well, as long as the Saint does not bring up the War, they should hit it off.

I need a vacation soon...real soon.

The key to a successful vacation, among other things, is to get to a Jintara concert. Only then will a degree of sanity return to this tortured carcass/soul.

Yes, the worms on his lawn are a direct result of Isaan taxi-drivers disturbing the equilibrium of the worms on his lawn so that they are going to attack in abundance with fangs bared and at the ready. Vacation...I need a vacation.

Post by **beer monkey** » July 16, 2009, 3:52 am

When i saw a new post in the video section...then saw it was by Tilo, i just knew Ms Jintara poonlarp would figure, is she aware you are the number 1 fan..?(In Canada anyway).
I am certain Charles can do the Hokey Cokey, lets face it he did the 'Full Monty' sketch in the Job Centre.

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 3:58 am

If I can get to see her in Thailand this summer, Jintara will learn many things about me, but first something must be done to get her manager/husband, Jango, out of the way. I wonder if he knows how to clear lawns of worms?!?

One of these days there will be a surprise in the video section and the contribution will be by Tai Oratai, Sek Loso or the Prince performing the Hokey Cokey with his beloved better half.

Post by **saint** » July 16, 2009, 8:08 am

hey , there aint nobody gonna be shooting up my worms or garden O K . there my worms and ill murder them myself when im good and ready !!!!! the worms got nothing to do with global warming , they were here long before me , but like any good imperialist , i stole thier land , theyve become a nuisance , so must be eliminated . as for charlie coming to visit , my mrs says , no way pedro , one fruit cake in the house is enough .

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 8:28 am

Well, never mind then...it is the thought and good intentions that count.

No, no, no, you did not steal their land. You forget the civilising mission.

You are bringing them good government, peace, order, justice and civilisation...after you murder a few. This will ensure that they know this is British land now, and there will forever be an England!

Plant the Union Flag firmly on your soil and make sure it is right side up!!!

Post by **saint** » July 16, 2009, 9:34 am

no , no , no .as im not allowed to own anything here , what with me being an alien and all , this is still thai land and i will do it the thai way . i will promise them everything , and give them nothing , then if theres any discontent , ill try extracting money from them , them ill just kill them . as for the union flag , im sure you meant the sacred cross of st george . but i want be rushing out to buy one of those anytime soon .

Post by **arjay** » July 16, 2009, 11:39 am

Tilokarat wrote: On the other hand, she (Jintara) is more direct and visually appealing.

I found her backing dancers more visually appealing, at least what I could see of them that far back.

Saint wrote:i stole thier land

..and thus presumably their food!! (Or did you just lease it from them?

Beer Monkey wrote: I am certain Charles can do the Hokey Cokey, lets face it he did the 'Full Monty' sketch in the Job Centre.

As I remember it, Charles was into the Three Degrees. I don't know if that conflicted with his views on global warming?

Tilokarat wrote:I need a vacation soon...real soon.

Me too, I think.

Tilokarat wrote: The key to a successful vacation, among other things, is to get to a Jintara concert. Only then will a degree of sanity return to this tortured carcass/soul.

Yes, the worms on his lawn are a direct result of Isaan taxi-drivers disturbing the equilibrium of the worms on his lawn so that they are going to attack in abundance with fangs bared and at the ready. Vacation...I need a vacation.

Yes, I think you do!

And I'm beginning to think I do too!

Post by **arjay** » July 16, 2009, 11:50 am

Tilo, have you considered that by wearing short skirts Jintara could be doing the very opposite of what she intends and be directly contributing towards causing global warming? And indeed by posting video clips of her on the forum, you too are thus contributing to global warming. (Looking at them increases my body temperature

).

Consider yourself suitably admonished!

Post by **lepidoptra** » July 16, 2009, 3:22 pm

If I keep seeing that type of video it will surely persuade me that Thailand is the place to live and I should return. The problem in Thailand(TOT) it would have taken 2 hours to buffer the damn thing from UTube

Post by **beer monkey** » July 16, 2009, 3:27 pm

Do you think those bangkok Taxis they used kept the meters running whilst filming...or wouldn't they use the meter...as a set price would be more pang...So more baht for the driver.

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 7:30 pm

Yes, Father Arjay, I have sinned, and I am taking the rest of you with me...that is, please forgive me Lord...and so on.

Ladies and .... yeah, I am off to teach a few classes but to keep your motors running and your temperature cool, you can take a look at this, which has the title of, 'Love is Frightening', courtesy of Jintara and her wonderful dancers:

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 17, 2009, 2:40 am

Arjay, you have exposed the great contradiction in this video. How can you reduce global warming if you are inciting the masses to raise the temperatures to such heights that they are producing even greater heat?

Well Arjay, I think Jintara feels she must capture the interest of her audience to make her point. Hence the chorus line. Subsequently, she points to the Isaan drivers and their repellant taxis as the major cause of global warming. By the end of the video, the only thought that lingers in everyone's mind is that they hate taxis and Isaan taxi drivers, and will take one of those gas-guzzling buses that emit huge billowing clouds of black smoke the next time they are in Bangkok. They might even consider the rot fai dai din (subway) as an friendly alternative to the hated taxi. Consequently, the world will be saved from the greenhouse effect and global warming, and places like Toronto with cranky lecturers can begin to have real summer temperatures again instead of this 22 degrees nonsense every day.

The short skirts are just a prop to reinforce our belief that those taxis have got to go...just like the skirts...whoops, I mean... the skirts are there to convey the intellectual argument that __________fill in the blanks...up to you.

Well, BM, as you know the meter taxis are cheaper than the others so it is best to let them run during the song, and also demonstrate how truly evil they really are. This is not really paeng at all. The dancers, I believe, get around 250 baht per song, the same amount they get per day (plus food and lodging) when they accompany Jintara on the road.

The taxi drivers, of course, are back in Isaan and keenly taking political science courses so that they can cast an informed ballot in the next election that will return Thaksin, or one of his family/friends, to the top of the greasy pole.

Lepidoptra, just do your part and take the environmentally friendly buses when you are in Bangkok. Be wary, very wary of taxis with drivers from Isaan.

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