Water Buffalo University

Much has been said about WBU of late.

Can you guys enlighten us at to what it is / what it means please.

Many thanks

ps. I realise it is an euphemism.

oldfield wrote:Much has been said about WBU of late.

Can you guys enlighten us at to what it is / what it means please.

Many thanks

ps. I realise it is an euphemism.

Hi oldfield,

The WBU, is a highly revered educational facility here in Thailand
(see BUTFOE'S), The cariculum of which is very varied, but includes:


a. Wealth management

b. Human relationships

c. Thai culture

d. Buffalo health




e. The study of the virus strain commonly known as jasmin fever

f. Psycology

g. Family welfare

The above is just a sample of the many courses available.

The course duration is flexable, depending on the students learning ability,
but normally is not less than 5 years, students normally have a number of tuitors, due to complexity of the subjects.

There is a number of campuses, most of which, are situated close to the complex.

Course fees are usually agreed directly with the tuitors(credit cards welcome)



PS> All courses are normally residential, and a substatial deposit is usually required, prefered method of payment GOLD!

No refunds---- no matter how much of a learning disability you have.

oldfield wrote:Much has been said about WBU of late. Can you guys enlighten us at to what it is / what it means please. Many thanks. ps. I realise it is an euphemism.

Many foreigners come to Thailand and discover the Pattaya campus. A lot of middle-aged gentleman go for an induction in an office (bar) and are invited to relax while an interview is carried with 1-2 Thai tutors (Young pretty tutor and the dean or Mamasan in Thai). Tutors are primarily from the Isaan region, aged between 19-25 and are believed to be more adept at educating the foreigner in matters pertaining to family and bovine health. During this induction the foreigner is invited to buy the tutor some refreshment, which is usually triple the price of a student drink. When the tutor establishes the financial status of her potential student she may take a brief break from studies and introduce him to the PE (physical education) module of the course. This can include sports such as ping-pong ball shooting and marathon bouts of hide the salami. In between bouts the tutor may take her student on day trips to shopping malls and request gold in lieu of cash for module 1 and 2 of the course. The tutor can also produce an antique mobile/cellular phone and complain how bad it is encouraging her student to purchase a new Nokia N70 with camera, MP3 and GPRS enabling her to navigate back to her farm. After a few more games of hide the salami the student is educated further about Isaan family life and how the tutor must take care family she. A heart-wrenching story is usually told bringing tears to the eye of the student who cannot bear it any longer and feels the urge to help his tutor. The tutor wipes a tear from the eye of the student and reassures him that as soon as she raises enough cash her sister can be freed from the Si-Saket mafia, her brother can have a new Honda Wave enabling him to catch up on his studies… “He no go school, he want go to school too much… Can you help he? He is 28 years old now.” Papa can have the tractor fixed and the buffalo can have his life saving operation.

The tutor then asks the way to the nearest ATM and is duly deemed to be the latest student of the… WATER BUFFALO UNIVERSITY.

My friends tease me constantly with, Waterbuffalo die send money quik.Iam now financial Papa to six Thai inlaws in thier time of need,which usually is all the time.There is no shortage of real or percieved problems in Thailand.I often wonder how would they manage without are generousity and gullability.

Some foreigners opt for the fast track option at WBU.
On arrival in the land of smiles they head for the Patpong campus. Quickly find the Halls of Residence, dump belongings, freshen up and head straight for the Uni Bars.
There they are met by various delegates of Social Groups enticing them to join their gathering.
On choosing affiliation the new student will be required to carry out certain initiation tasks such as perfecting his bell ringing technique.
Sometime later after having spent a jolly evening with his "New friends" he will return to the Halls of Residence, guided by probably two of his new found pals who will happily make sure he is nicely tucked up in bed, safe and sound.
On awaking the next morning he will find his money and all his belongings have mysteriously disappeared.
Course duration 24 hours.
Some students of lesser intelligence may need to sit this course several times before graduating!

Roy wrote:Some foreigners opt for the fast track option at WBU.
On arrival in the land of smiles they head for the Patpong campus. Quickly find the Halls of Residence, dump belongings, freshen up and head straight for the Uni Bars.
There they are met by various delegates of Social Groups enticing them to join their gathering.
On choosing affiliation the new student will be required to carry out certain initiation tasks such as perfecting his bell ringing technique.
Sometime later after having spent a jolly evening with his "New friends" he will return to the Halls of Residence, guided by probably two of his new found pals who will happily make sure he is nicely tucked up in bed, safe and sound.
On awaking the next morning he will find his money and all his belongings have mysteriously disappeared.
Course duration 24 hours.
Some students of lesser intelligence may need to sit this course several times before graduating!

Enrolled in at the deep end at Patpong campus, a 3 day course from memory, Yes Remember dumping off belongings freshening up and off for refreshment at a group bars, plenty of helpful staff on hand..and one thing i noticed they all had the same uniform on and sometimes none at all. !!
learnt a lot in those initial days..then part 2 off to patters-alumni-worldwide branch of buffalo lifemanship...signed for 14 days..and passed with flying colours.(but still learning 19 years on)

Excellent posts Roy and Alan. A bloody good read.

NOW I know what WBU is.

Sadly I never went. My only reasoning is that I am waaaay too stingy (keeniaw), and I think the girls can smell it a mile away.

Damn they're good aren't they?

Yep those naive little farm girls can smell keeniaw at 400 paces

Alan,
After 3 years in Thailand,you get your assistant.Allready.
Come on,make your masterpiece now!
Shake them....we are better....
The Farmer

Farmer

I love your posts but I just wish they didn't feel like an Acid flashback

Come on Roy lets see you 'shake them'.

computergeek, read this

best o luck

john s

Congrats to me, me, me, me. I have received my Doctorate Degree from WBU. As always, additional courses cost additional funds. That

My friend stayed at his girlfriends families house. He told me the buffallo was sick so they brought it in the house to take care of it They then chained him up outside until the buffallo was ok.