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Sin Sod

Long distance relationships, mixed relationships etc...

Do you agree with Sin Sod

Poll ended at December 15, 2005, 2:41 am

Yes
10
59%
No
7
41%
 
Total votes : 17

Postby valentine » November 26, 2005, 10:48 am

Banpaeng. I didn't want to elaborate but this same girl in discussion with another, when asked why she wanted him, 'He was very overweight to put it kindly" said, When I get over there, I can get rid of him and find another!!! It is very difficult sometimes to hold my tounge, but as my wife puts it.Whats in it for you? only trouble and remember we live here.
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Postby valentine » November 26, 2005, 10:56 am

By the way, forgot to ask, was it the girl or the Jag had the plastic infills?
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Postby banpaeng » November 26, 2005, 11:12 am

Yep I do know what you mean. I am overweight but been working on it with the same woman 34 years. :D

I've seen it to many times. We to hold our tongue as we live here. Maybe we will be lucky and some of these folks will read this.

I also must say some of these relationships work somewhat out. If the girl and man have good hearts (Yes they use each other) then at least they do stay together and when the old gentleman passes she gets what she wants and he got the pleasure of her company. I do know of a couple of couples like this, so not all bad.

I haven't seen the Jag or girl so I will let your imagination run a bit on the plastic :D :D :D Wife thought it was funny to.
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Postby Bump » November 26, 2005, 11:36 am

banpaeng wrote:Mr. Valentine I have seen the US side when they hit the US. It is not a pretty site to see these girls make fools of the fellas here to. Wife told me of a new one this week. Male 68, Female 24. Made man buy her a Jag. Has a whole lot of plastic in body. The guy is looking for consulting work as she has about used up his retirement. Will not belabor this point but I as you wish someone would intervene. It is sad to see the spiral when the girl uses all she can get and then split. Seems it happens quite a bit. Old guys just don't want to be lonely. Who does?


No doubt that there are abuses and yes they are a shame. You see lots of people literally destoyed by some of these games. The big question is if you stepped in would they believe you?

If things seem unreasonable in a situation they probably are. I spent my first year here playing the field can't tell you how many times I was asked to buy cell phones and motorcycles within three days of meeting a girl. I finally bought a cell phone and just started rotating it between the replacements. Would I have fronted Sin Sod for any one of those girls no way :x

But not all the ladies here are that way and each of us have to take the time to see what we is really going on before we tie the knot just as we would anywhere.

Pursuing a dream in your latter years is attractive, but when it's all said and done that dream may turn into nightmare.
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Postby banpaeng » November 26, 2005, 11:40 am

Ray I read this to my wife and we both agree that is well said.
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Postby businessman » November 26, 2005, 12:30 pm

Best to leave alone,"mai dong yung".Tried to help a Vietnam vet once but got no thanks.His wife was a truly awful woman who was bleeding him dry with fake relatives who needed money.His house is tiny but cost several million Baht.I now the local builders merchants and she never added on less than 100 per cent for herself.
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Postby Buom Pouy » November 28, 2005, 12:34 pm

I voted yes not only because I got it all back minus the gold, which was still cheaper that what I would of paid for a wedding ring in Australia. But in my situation the family explained before hand it was just for the guests & Lao authorities to see and that my wife and I would get the money back the next day.
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Postby laphanphon » November 28, 2005, 2:24 pm

voted no, only because it seem to be a double standard thing. yes it is custom and i agree with that part, although the custom seems to be fading out in upper circles, so i hear, not that i would know. but on the village guy to village girl in northeast, going sin sod rate is 30-50 thousand baht, but for farangs, i've heard of some amazing numbers.

also know of the finders fee, as i set up a couple internet pages for gals and wanted 10 %. but the one gal wanted me to send emails to people she had no relationship interest in, but only because of finances, so i washed my hands of her, told her i'd help her find love, but not steal money.

my past situation, had registered marriage, never thai ceremony w/sin sod. told wife when i understand thai, i'll do it, but not until then. having a marriage ceremony and not understanding anything didn't sit well with me. but dad has couple rice machines, help w/truck purchase, and home construction, all of which was nothing majorly expensive and he works on my house quite often, so he is over paid for doing an excellent job, which is worth not have the headache of 4 contractors screwing everything up and probably paying the same in long run. he is an excellent example of a true buddhist, so deserving of anything received for services. mom on the other hand was the opposite, every marriage in village was pointed out and sin sod noted, and of course, wife telling me i am getting free sex. didn't know i had to pay for it, but, by the time she left, she was way over paid, lol, lol, lol.

on that, i think i have new girlfriend, and if she stops talking about marriage and having a baby, after all of 3 dates, it might last a while, didn't tell her i had a vasectomy, lol, see is she tells me she is pregnant one of these days. might make my usually 3 month girlfriend time period, well maybe.
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Postby Roadman » November 28, 2005, 2:50 pm

Hi.
A new board member as a contributor, but a reader for a very long time, having been a regular visitor to Udon for several years.

I voted yes but when first considering marriage to my Thai girlfriend was firmly in the no camp. To my then "western only thinking" it was abhorrent, and I initially had a very narrow view of what would I get in exchange.

My girlfriend on behalf of her family (deceased mother) did not want any payment.
My partner had considerable bank debt (for a thai, but no big deal for a well paid farang) from her family business that had been lost for reasons other than her's and her father. Both off them were working their butts off for peanuts just to service the interest on their farm and home. However over time as the relationship strengthened my mindset changed. It changed when it came to making the final decision to marry and live together here in New Zealand. I was having a guilt trip about both of us living in luxury in New Zealand while her father, sisters and brothers were slaving to just hold the bank from their doors. Not then from the view of thai custom but more from having a peaceful conscience.
As equal partners in our relationship, I chose to pay half the debt; that on the income earner the farm; with the other half on the house was left as thai family debt. As a large landowner in New Zealand I understood the joy that my new father-in-law felt, having his piece of his homeland he now re-owned, free of the bank debt. The money that was being hard earned to pay only bank debt is now paying off the house principle.
The reality is most thai's have debt. Some farangs of my age group (late 40's) have no debt or very little.
For my thai family it may be sin sod. From my view it is part of the old western wedding vows "for better or for worse" and what your conscience and financial standing allows.

And on my previous very narrow view of what do I get in return...a loving, caring, hard working partner....duh as if that was not obvious from very early on. I wish I had found Thailand and this lady earlier in my life.

I use to blow Baht 150,000 each 3-week holiday in Thailand by myself. Now the nieces and nephews and other cousins and relatives spread throughout Thailand providing apartments, houses, vehicles and meals allow both of us to spend 3 week holidays back in Thailand for half the price
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Postby lee » November 28, 2005, 4:08 pm

Sin sod is ok because it's part of the culture and every country has its own unique customs. I probably wouldn't agree if some money wasn't returned, I also disagree with raising the sin sod for farangs. Why should we pay more? Not all farangs are rich, ok some may be, but most are usually middle class with bills to pay, mortgage and just enough money to get by on back in their home country.
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Postby Bump » November 28, 2005, 4:09 pm

on that, i think i have new girlfriend, and if she stops talking about marriage and having a baby, after all of 3 dates, it might last a while, didn't tell her i had a vasectomy, lol, see is she tells me she is pregnant one of these days. might make my usually 3 month girlfriend time period, well maybe.[/quote]

Boy you have a lot more patience then when I was single hence three day Ray :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby arjay » November 28, 2005, 8:42 pm

I voted yes, because I understand it is part of their culture, but only after I was sure that it wasn't being used as just another way of extracting money from me.

I know of several other farangs who have paid sin sot's in descending order:

100k none given back
100K some given back after wedding
50K
40K
20K and a buffalo :)

I understand that the family normally pay for the party/reception from the sin sot. In my case I paid a lower sin sot, plus the party costs.
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Postby laphanphon » November 29, 2005, 1:56 pm

Boy you have a lot more patience then when I was single hence three day Ray


extremely patient, lol. but trying to practice as safe sex as possible instead of chasing something new, as interesting as it can be, but safer for a mutual friend. just finding one with same thoughts. in practical sense, i'm not a good catch. already have a kid, ex-wife already owns land to house, so i'll be there for the 30 yr lease. i'm sure as hell not buying or building a new one for new chickie or getting married, plus when i die, she won't get house anyway, the ex will have control. just want to live long enough for kid to be independent and see mother's true colors, so she can tell her not to sell house because she plans to keep living in it. she already has good idea mom isn't up to snuff. but too young to ignore her, only 6. give her 10 yrs and she won't even want to talk to her mother, sad, but hopefully she learns. she an independent thinker at such a young age, very un-thai :D .
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Postby Bump » November 29, 2005, 2:28 pm

laphanphon wrote:
Boy you have a lot more patience then when I was single hence three day Ray


extremely patient, lol. but trying to practice as safe sex as possible i :D .


Well more patient them me, afe sex no other way. Better living through modern science :D
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Postby TC » December 18, 2005, 5:00 am

Why pay virginal " brand new Ferrari "prices when you
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