Why do you put up with a Thai wife?

TC wrote:ps val..thought you might have gone on a little longer with car/wife analogy.

Well you could of course, go on and on, but it depends what you want, reliability or speed and sheer excitement.

You could get a new model, but as they age they need more maintenance, need constant resprays with new paint, body filler, and worst of all, the exhaust starts to blow.

A Ferrari is an instant classic, even in old age they are admired. You just need to ensure they have not had too many drivers and are clapped out. Check the service history thoroughly.

yorkman wrote:I am also a bit confused as to where literacy comes into if we are talking about wifes, is the suggestion that you are writing to each other?

Partners who share a common first language often fail to communicate; given that, yes there can be misunderstandings if you are not fluent in each others language, but its rarely caused me and more than a minor problem.

Somebody recently commented, I forget who, that when they first met he spoke no Thai and she no English; perhaps they are best placed to comment on this one.

Guilty, that was me and mine. We actually at first developed a language of our own that was very effective in the house, outside it did not work at all. There was lots of time that we had to get help in interputing.

Overtime she learned some english and I thia. I take Thai lessons not to speak with her but to conduct business on my own and to speak with my neighbors. I'm urprise how well I can do in normal business matters, but it is the unusual or more complex things that I have a problem with.

It is very frustrating to learn especially to learn Thai and then find that the locals don't understand you, because they are speaking Issan or Lao.

On the other hand I'm retired I have the time I always tell myself I didn't learn to speak as a child at the level I speak at now in a year. There were many years involved in developing a proficieny in any langue even your native tongue.

Like anything else worthwhile, mariages require a lot of work. At times language is a barrier. But in all honesty I think the real problems come not from language but a different approach to problem solving, planning and acceptance of the finished product.

Some things I don't expect my wife to understand, she has had no exposure to them, just as there are many things in Thailand that I don't have a clue about. I checked to her in the Thai things, wish she would do the same for me in the things I do understand.

I honestly belive that most Thia's think we are like children and can't do anything. I mowed the lawn at our new house the other day. All the Thia workers stopped and watched me for thirty minutes while I trimmed and mowed the lawn. Guess they didn't know a farrang could do that, they seemed very amazed actually. We don't have a clue as to them and they don't have one as to us either.

( honestly belive that most Thia's think we are like children and can't do anything. I mowed the lawn at our new house the other day. All the Thia workers stopped and watched me for thirty minutes while I trimmed and mowed the lawn. Guess they didn't know a farrang could do that, they seemed very amazed actually.}

this is so true . I have a group of workers at present building girlfriends sisters house, they where amazed to see me building and fitting a new kitchen in girnfriends house . facinated to see how I went about it , (very different to them ) and just so full full of good natured derision as work continued, I dont speak tie but was abvious that it was considered big joke , Come finish day and much amazment as they veiwed and pulled and tugged to see if it would all fall down , when it did not then had some serious smiles and well dones . Now when ever Im doing anything they gather round and ask questions in as more serious vein .
I have to say though ,have watched them build a house from spades and foundations ,to concrete pillars with twigs and nothing more than a spirit leval and I find them awesome . I now employ them instead of doing myself because I have learned that the job they do is excellant .

Congradualtions you have arrived. I can't tell you how many times I have heard farrangs talk about Thai building methods, they are very different then ours but they work to moat of the time.

There are certian things we want that a Thia just can not undertand why, but if you can get them to get the picture they can build it, like you said with very little.

We just had a Kitchen made wetern style, I drew pictures for them gave them exact measurements and they did it exactly as I asked. I didn't ask about thier methods I was only interested in the end product. Actually they built much stronger then any farrang builder I ever saw. Brick and stucco supports complete supports not partial The one thing I thought was interesting is they made the sink top in the driveway poured cement in a form and placed it on top. Not how I would have doen it but it worked just fine. They had a hard tiem visualizing over head cabinets but once they were in they thought it was a great idea.

More than one way to skin a pig.

As long as the job gets done and done correctly, just because it was not done your way, does not make it wrong. I try, but not sucessful all the time, tw watch as I might find out a new way. Gotta keep learning or the brain goes dead.

The following comes from William Campbell Douglass II, an American MD:

It's been a while since I talked about the cure-all doctors can't prescribe: Love.

I was tempted to save this column for Valentine's Day - but I consider the subject matter so important that I could not in good conscience wait to tell you about it. Of course, I've written in the past about the healing power of love and close relationships, but some new studies point to an even more dramatic effect these kinds of intimacies can have on your health.

Here's the first bit of news: According to recent research conducted by scientists from Ohio State University, a happy, low-conflict marriage can speed the healing of injuries and wounds by as much as 40%!

The study, published in the December 2005 issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry, focused on 84 married subjects whose ages ranged from 22 to 77. In each, identical blisters were raised on their arms using a vacuum pump. The researchers found that couples with higher levels of marital hostility healed from these wounds at an average rate of 60% as quickly as those who enjoyed smoother matrimonial sailing.

The study also measured higher levels of residual cytokines - proteins produced by white blood cells that initially spur healing, but can become harmful if systemically prevalent in the blood - in couples that were feuding instead of canoodling. These cytokines have been linked to a host of age-related diseases, including cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, arthritis, and even certain cancers.

In further news that love is a life-and-death boon to your health, UK scientists from the University of Birmingham claim they've found evidence suggesting that happily married folks - especially couples in their golden years - fight flu better than their lovelorn counterparts.

According to a recent BBCNews.com article, the British research focused on 180 volunteers over age 65. Their findings revealed that higher levels of flu-fighting antibodies were present in the blood of the matrimonially blissful than in those who were widowed, divorced, or unhappily married.

Looks like all we need instead of the worthless, hazardous flu vaccine they dole out every year is a good dose of marital harmony, huh?

But this isn't all that's new on the affection-as-medicine front...

Have you ever noticed that "huggy" couples seem happier and healthier?

Well, there's a reason for that, according to some University of North Carolina researchers. They studied the stress response and hormone levels of 38 couples before and after having them watch an excerpt from a romance film and share a 20-second hug.

As it turns out, this scientist-induced "happy moment" resulted in a lowering of stress hormones like cortisol and norepinephrine and a spike in oxytocin, a hormone associated with love (especially the motherly, nurturing kind). The result of these combined reactions lowered blood pressure and reduced stress in the test's subjects.

According to the study's authors, these hormonal benefits to cardiac health are likely what's responsible for the statistical boost in longevity and overall health that longtime marriage confers - and also the root of why divorce is linked to higher mortality rates.

So if you want a healthy ticker for yourself and your spouse, scoop her up (or him, for you ladies) and dole out a big old dose of "snuggle medicine" every day. This type of "prescription" is the kind you can safely take multiple times a day, all year 'round.

Garnet wrote:
So if you want a healthy ticker for yourself and your spouse, scoop her up (or him, for you ladies) and dole out a big old dose of "snuggle medicine" every day. This type of "prescription" is the kind you can safely take multiple times a day, all year 'round.

And one can not OD on this medicine.

MY GOD ! three divorces I'm a goner

One hug takes care of a bunch of aw sh#ts.

ray23 wrote:I honestly belive that most Thia's think we are like children and can't do anything. I mowed the lawn at our new house the other day. All the Thia workers stopped and watched me for thirty minutes while I trimmed and mowed the lawn. Guess they didn't know a farrang could do that, they seemed very amazed actually. We don't have a clue as to them and they don't have one as to us either.

I just got back to the US after a great 7 weeks there. We did 384 big dumptrucks of landfill, built a hut/shelter/whatever, put in a deep well and built a standalone toilet with septic tank. I worked on all of it with the wife's father and brother. When we were building the toilet I was watching as my father-in-law and brother-in-law (Man) were laying the blocks. As I did a bit of bricklaying in my younger days I jumped in when Man was on a break and started working on the wall. I did a much better job than he did and when Man returned the my wifes father told him to help me and let me do the work. Well, almost the entire village turned out to watch and were amazed that I could do this and better than most of them could do. I was even asked to give pointers as to why I adjusted the placement of the top of the blocks instead of the bottom which will make a wall crooked.

As for the previous comments about speaking the language, they all decided that I need to learn more Thai (Lao) so Waen's father told her to wuit speakig to me in English altogether and I heard almost nothing besides Thai for probably 3 weeks and got along just great. As a funny note, Waen's sisters husband is from Korat and he speaks "Thai". When he would teach me something that I didn't know and I repeated it they would all almost simultaneously yell "speak Lao, speak Lao".

We went and looked at some of the local new housing to get some ideas as to what kind of house that we want to build but Waen told me that we were going to wait until after she comes here to the U.S. to see what she thinks about living here.

Best of all, I talked with the Thai navy and picked up some work. I head back over in on Feb 10th until the 22nd then again from March 1st until the 21st. 2 free visits with the wife.

I'll post some photos of our landfill after I resize them. I bought a copy of Photoshop while there and hope to do a better job than the last photos.

Hi wansman.Did you make a start on your version of the Great Wall of China?

Marcus

businessman wrote:Hi wansman.Did you make a start on your version of the Great Wall of China?

Marcus

No I did not. Luckily I was saved by the rains of last season. Waen wanted to build the wall now but after I got there and discussed this with her father he and I decided that a wall now before the landfill would probably not be a good idea. We did big landfill and the wall will come later. I am also getting out of putting the wall around our AND her sisters land as well. She and her husband will have to build their own wall when the time comes.

We went around to a couple of the condo places that are going up on Rt 2 and took a look at their floor plans acting like we were possibly interested in buying one just to get some ideas of what we want to do. Waen really liked one three story place until I told her "too much house to clean" then she started looking at some 2 story ones. Later she told me " you no work, you clean I work, we look 3 floor house more". Don't know how this one is going to turn out.

I go back next friday for 12 days, then back to the USA for a week then back to Thailand for another 22 days. Working in Sattahip so at best I'll only get up to Udon for a long weekend on the second trip. Thai navy wants me to do some work on their aircraftcarrier before the Queen visits the ship sometime in March. Hopefully I can make if for the March monthly meeting. If not "sun keow" one for me.

I'm currently lightening my photos of the construction and then I will resize some and post them if anyone is interested in seeing what we did.

Doug

Hello Doug,

Yes post away, being in the construction throes myself I would certainly be interested.

Hmmmm..that carrier, you are going to do some work on it; does that mean its actually going out of port??? .It seems more like a "mine is bigger than yours" with the other SE Asian Navies than anything else . I used to be involved (years ago) in weapon systems operation instruction with the Malaysian Navy, and I am sure it was entirely wasted!

John

The aircraft carrier saga. I have been reliably told by a TRAF officer that the proposed planes to be purchased from Russia are not suitable for carrier landing. So we now have a carrier that doesn't move, and planes that can't use it , if it did. It would make an impressive yacht for you know who though

Just a thought on your house plans three floors remember you are building something more the likely you will have to live in when your an old man. Thats a lot of stairs.