Private Dancer (is there no hope?)

Greetings all, I'm Up country again (Working on my Phd from Water Buffalo University) with my new Girl, staying with the Family in Rasi Salai (near Sisaket) It is a very small village, no other Falang but has small shop with internet connection for the girls to use to contact their boyfriends/sponsers.
Looking back now I can see I was wrong in many of my dealings, assumptions and actions with my "Farm Girl"
She just wanted to help her family. I think anyone with Thai Girlfriend/Wife will be "helping' financially in some way. Took me a while to get a handle on that and hopefully I won't make the same mistakes again.
Several posters recommended I read Stephen Leather's "Private Dancer" when I asked for Advice before. I have just finished it (life is very sabai-sabai here on the farm) and also "Bangkok Kiss" by David Thomson.
I'm DEPRESSED !!! Is there any positive literature concerning Thai/Western relationships or is it just that you don't hear about the positive outcomes? I enjoyed "Bangkok Kiss" But found "Private Dancer" very negative- or maybe too close to my own past experiences.
The "Hero" of the story "Pete" seems a right prat, why did he hang in there so long ??
Or is the novel autobiographical ???????
The "Heroine??" of Private Dancer even comes from Sisaket- Same my new girl. My Girl has regular job (nurse) and is not from p4p industry (far as I know!)
One thing I found in Bangers was sum of the girls in the office would "freelance' towards the end of the month to make ends meet.
A night out drinking with my Thai colleages would invariably end up with a visit to a Thai p4p venue (cheaper and prettier than Falang places)
Is this Thai culture ?? Or is it all about availibility ??
Even in my new Girl's tiny village there is a little shack where the Thai men go. (pointed out to me by my Girl's father when he had a few!)
I'm ready to give up my sumwot "dodgy " lifestyle.
Is it possible in Thailand ??

Can a Lepard change its spots?Just kidding.My friends brother and his roomate are headed to the Big Mango in three weeks and it would good info,if you could tell me where those cheap places are.I told them Nana,as it would relatively hassle free,but I recently read that the Japanese have pushed up the prices and the bar owners as well.I told them the Thermae cafe,if they were looking for freelancers,but in my days of past freedom,the place looked dodgy.Cheers

there's a book called 'yellow fever', i think, supposed to be very good for thai/farang relationship. have not read, i got the on bar/village experience already, so don't think it would be any help for me. but supposed to be good and is half thai/english, so a couple therapy thing, explaining cultural difference and relationship differences for both partner to think about. get's good reviews, even from experienced people.

like relationships everywhere, it takes a while. we all had the same feelings where we come from, when and where will i finally find a good one, or at least one that will put up with me. so far, didn't really find it back in farang land, almost a couple times, but one of us screwed it up. here, i'm on #4 live in, one long, 2 short, and present one seems to be working way too good. but there is no outside influences from family or friends pulling her strings, no peer pressure, and she actually listens to me, realizes what is important for me and her, and that's our basis for the relationship. the rest, low on our priority list is tolerated by both, as there are going to be difference, and if not major, we can live with them. if it doesn't work, well, as always, try our best again.

the hopeless romantics, we keep pushing on.

dougness,
Tell your mates to steer clear of Nana (toooo expensive) For first timers, Soi Cowboy No hassles, safe etc etc.(check out!!!! the Issaan twins at Long Gun or Suzie Wong. Can't remember which !
They be booking next flight Udon !!
Beer garden soi 7 Sukhomvit (Freelancers,no b/f dodgy-but hey no guts no glory!!
For Thai places you need to speak sum Thai or have Thai friend.
Pattaya better choice now p4p -Competition keeps price down ,now low season
Bangkok too expensive. Or you could send them up here to Rasi Salai .
Local gals B200 (shorttime no GFE here !!)
At "The Shack"
Drop ya rubber through the floorboards and the ducks fight over it.
Hope "Pa" don't dob me in !
The Badger (trying to scrub off me spots now!)

Jump in. The water's fine.

The Badger wrote:At "The Shack"
Drop ya rubber through the floorboards and the ducks fight over it.
Hope "Pa" don't dob me in !

LOL

laphanphon wrote: ........ and present one seems to be working way too good. but there is no outside influences from family or friends pulling her strings, no peer pressure,

No joke, LA... How is this posible? Is she an orphan from another country? Where can I find such a girl?

laphanphon wrote: the hopeless romantics, we keep pushing on.

If you look up the word, 'romantic' in a thai dictionary, you will see the thai word spelled 'roo-meen-dtik'. This tells you there is no such Thai word for it and was introduced here by western influence.

No wonder the candlelight som-tum dinners don't seem to bring that old familiar smile and wink, we are used to in the West..... Gadz..

The book your thing of is "Thailand Fever" LA.
While it does generalize, impossible not to on such a vast subject, I did learn a good deal from it when I was new here and as you stated each page is translated in to Thai so the TW/TGF can also read about the strange things us Westerners like such as a little bit of privacy.
Well worth the cost.

laphanphon wrote:there's a book called 'yellow fever', i think, supposed to be very good for thai/farang relationship.

La I think you mean Thailand Fever (http://thailandfever.com/) and yes it is quite good at explaining the differences and difficulties in cross cultural relationships. I left mine with my ex in Khon Kaen. As good a book as it is it could not warn me about her scheming... Actually Mystic Meg could not have forewarned me. Anyway you can get it online and is worth a read or if you are here already you can certainly get it in the bigger bookshops. If you are around central Udon and feel like a beer there is a copy of it behind the bar in *Fiddler's Green on Soi Samphan (near Irish Clock) so you can read a few chapters until your vision gets blurred after a few Changs/Singhas/San Miguel Lights with a bit of lemon/lime.

* Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated to the said bar and the fact that the proprietor and myself are from the same country, city, suburb and street is entirely coincidental.

Oops, sorry Roy as I was doing my "hunt and peck" typing a reply you posted already.

thanks for the correction fellows, i was hoping somebodey would chime in, if wrong, big surprise. knew it was some kind of fever.

No joke, LA... How is this posible? Is she an orphan from another country? Where can I find such a girl?

actually, yes, almost. 1 of about 8 kids, youngest with 30 yr span. her parents passed when 4 yrs old, or something like that. bounced back between siblings, decent education for public system. then off to work in real world, lucked out and was trained on computer/photoshop for clothing design, so can get a decent job if needing. siblings all self sufficient and spread out all over thailand, and even one in usa for over 20 yrs on and off. basically a loner type, as myself, so working out good, both rebounding from relationships, but honest when meeting and no deceptions. so a pretty good start, if we don't screw it up. avoiding most of the pitfalls that most encounter with outside influences. i stick to my guns, as she does her, and with that we earn each others respect.

Thankyou Badger for the info.I kind of told them they would be better of in Pattaya at a beerbar for cheeper experiance.I was at the stickman website and the bangkokbob website they both confirmed your advice.I tried warning the guys about the Jedi mind control of bargirls on firstimers in Thailand.And reccomended Private Dancer as required reading.I love my TW,but I still wonder,if I would've been better off with the mythical farmer girl from Buriam.I must be the worlds greatest sucker,because I still give my wife way too much cash.I can really only account for about 40,000baht of it.I didn't meet my wife at a adult entertainment centre or the internet.Iam going back to make a baby and I wonder,if im just digging myself a bigger hole.

Iv'e read Thailand Fever also and found it helpfull . Not at all negative as are all the novels I have read on Thai/Western relationships.
It is in 2 parts English/Thai as stated. One part for us and one for our sweety
Truuuuble !!!! was when I gave it to my Tee Luk at the time she read it for one page and declared it Borrrring !!!!!
Could be a whole new subject here. WHY ???? Don't Thais read???
Guess it's not Sannook Sannook.
The Badger

I bought two copies,when I met my wife.I promptly read mine and she took her sweet time.And then declared it was mainly for bar girls.I think its a great read.I wish I had read it before I met my wife,because maybe id still be single.

dougness ,Mate, know exactly wot you mean about the"mythical farner girl from Buriram .I'm in Rasi Salai near Sisaket meeting the new "FAMILY"
My new girl is smart, well educated, funny etc . but I still miss my "Simple Farm Girl" from Udon. She was a Dream.
I need to keep in touch with BKK everyday and walking down to the internet shack in the village this morning met "drop dead' 18 yr old leading her water buffalo along the track mmmmmm? but she knows my GF !!
RE "MAKING A BABY" Yeh ,mate thats a big one , not for me.
You say you give your wife "way too much cash"
Can I ask how much you give her each month mate. Grappling with this one myself. In the past was accused off being "kee neow"
Just don't want to be "Buffalo" theres enuff of them around here.
The Badger