Relationship to a Thaiwoman? omg...

Hi all...
So, how should I begin....
Okay, at first I`d like to excuse an eventually false manner to express- I am no englishmen and my english is quite `moderate`...
I made (as so many I guess) aquittance of some Thaiwoman in an international working `single- community` with it`s seat somewhere in time...
Through this I found the way to some -as I thought- nice Woman and it was the reason for me to book a flight to Thailand (my first one...) beside the fact that I played already a long time with the idea to travel to Thailand with it`s many amazing sight-seeings and different cultural aspects...
After all I think now it had been better to travel to Melbourne/ Australia where I have Aunt and Cousins I have not seen almost 20 years but let`s forget about that...
By the way I`m a `quite ordinary guy` and I work as `srewer` and Welder (TIG) here...
Anyhow, bored of my last relationships to european woman (I have never been married and no kids) I found already everytime Thaiwoman very attracting and have never been together with one although I already had the opportunity here in switzerland where I live...
My chances in the above mentioned Community were quite fair not to say good nevertheless that I am bit a `freaky one` and not bad tattoowed... (42 yrs)
Btw impressive how many `young girls` tried `to catch` me...
But with the time (I spend about 2 Month in this community before I deleted my profile there this night) I recognized that almost all woman I wrote to had a very bad (worse than mine ) english- knowledge and showed mainly interest in the exchange of `3- sentence- mails`...
After reading some articles here and there and viewing some vid`s on youtube I became still more critical and after mentioning to one of the (in fact only 3) woman I knew from there that I`d never pay the so called sin sod and big expenses for `my hypothetical wife` I got some curious,criticizing and not to say accusing responses.
I had to accept the Thaiculture, it would be `common practice` and blablabla...
Somehow I felt `in the wrong movie` and all the talk about love and serious relationship turned from Admiration into complete rejection.
Because of this, the fact that many Thaiwoman go far from the Point that `rich falang` pays all and the partially seen audacity I `send this night the woman I planed to meet in Udon into the desert`...
Some hours hours later now I already regret it because she did`t do anything wrong to me...
The question I met only myself was what she didn`t right!
I don`t like arguing in a 3-sentence- style where the words `and you` or `what`s do you think` or `what`s your idea` are totally missing...
Fortunately Udon has many nice area`s and many worth seeing sight-seeings so that I am not the one in the desert then...
I can imagine to get resply`s now like `welcome to the club` and so far but I am really interested in your opinion...
I already booked a Hotel in Udon for my time there what is owned by a german who told me that in Thailand/ Udon is nothing about love in real than in `Supply` or Support...
That makes me thinking and I act like I did or do...
I can`t or better will not imagine that there are no `correct girl`s ` (in fact it doesn`t matter to me if she`s a bargirl, a teacher or a nurse) and any `female conspecifics` in Thailand are only interested in `Familysupport`...

I guess that my Assesment of Thaiwoman was a little bit `cranky`...

So, you asked yourself now `what`s wrong with this guy` but I am really interested to understand (not at least the female psychology I already read some books about) the realativ cool behaviour of some of em`...
Is there really no opportunity to make acquitance of a in my (our) impression `normal` thaiwoman who is seriously looking for a western guy with the wish for a serious relationship?
Is it really all about Cash and Support of the whole fam.?

I don`t know anyhow and I am really a little bit confused....
By the way- does anyone reading this know if there is a Club there in Udon where german is spoken and I could take my Coke- Zero on the rocks?


Cheers...


Greets from Switzerland


Werner

Well, Werner, you have hit the 'Thai Culture' issue. It is something which many especially village girls still adhere too. You may be lucky and find a girl who does not care, but that is luck. Sin Sod is partially a matter of the standing of a girl and her family in the village - more sin sod, more 'respect'. And competition between families is fierce - hence desire for a better house, car, more gold etc. Unfortunately it has become more of a bidding war than one of genuine social standing.
Also, remember no welfare state here - providing for your future is about what you can earn (for most, not much) or what you can obtain in inheritance OR from your partner. So support IS an issue. So purely western values do not apply.

If you are coming to Udon anyway, go to Nobi's - he's german and can explain Isaan life to you; he has a place just opposite Top Mansion, easy to find. Last thing - DO NOT RUSH - if you are good, the girls will soon find you; the seas of Udon have many sharks, learn to swim first!

How many pints of blood does a typical human male hold?

When you get to the 2/3 point, take notice.

Good one...

Fellers, do me a favour...
Ever tried to teach a Baracuda swimming in a shark-pool....?
No, I am for sure not an `easy to catch one` and the mentioned respect in form of a sin sod doesn`t matter to me- that is purest human-trafficing and in other contries woman have to pay men for marriage...
Ever been in Brazil?

Now I have the Idea with religion:
every one says it is the right one- they can all only be wrong!

I was only interested in the lean responses and advises because I know me better than Thailand and it`s Practice...

But self if I am a cool guy I am still not emotionally dead and I love her pictures really very much...
Yes, she is a nice and beautiful Woman in `it`s best age` but considering the fact that she has already 2 daughters it can`t be much to pay her father to satisfy him....
Mabe 2 Camels or some cheaps?

I don`t know but after she wrote me once more one of the mentioned 2-sentence--emails today after I deleted already all concerning her I guess the affair isn`t already over...
I`ll see what happens but the try to skin a Baracuda lends to be drawn into the pool...

Thank^s for the info about the `german bar`....
I`ll for sure hit in the one or two times when I`m there and I am sure no long time to be alone...

The Thai`s must be crazy...

Ditto Rick's reply. Also there are many members on this board who married without sin sod and life has been blissful for them. It is possible, but rare. If you have a problem with the sinsod concept, simply change the paradigm and think of it this way: In your country, you would have no problem with paying thousands of Euros for a ring and giving it to your bride. Well, in Thailand, a ring is not part of their tradition. So, offer the ring money instead of actually buying the ring. Problem solved. Cheers!

A Very good point KD!

Werner,there are no real anawers for you regarding acceptable behavior of the girls!They are all different as anywhere,as far as matters of the heart!

Here is my opinion and advice from what you have said about yourself and your experience:

You are relatively young and still working,so you should know that until you have the ''time'' to spend with the girl developing a relationship that you feel comfortable about,you will be in a ''long distance''relationship without any idea of who she really is or whether you really want to stay together forever!Does that make sense to you?

Your mind will tell you how much you love her from being apart after the ''short time'' whirlwind as your objectivity disappears and you get sucked in to a longterm relationship which probably has very little chance of success for you.To maintain your relationship you will most likely have to ''contribute'' financially and when you do,that will become her main reason for continuing the contact with you.Doesn't mean she is a bad hearted person,it means she has a windfall financially and won't be able to give it up,most people wouldn't either!

You should ,first of all learn that Thai women marry falangs ,mainly,because they can not find a suitable Thai husband and because of there desire to live on a higher economic security level than their present situation.They do not marry you because you are a ''stud'' or because they are attracted to you as you are to them!Their feelings initially are absolutely nothing like yours!

If you are so attracted to Thai women,maybe you should experiment with some that are in your country already!Long distance relationships have about as much chance of success as you have in winning the major prize in the Lottery!

You might want to search through the ''relationship forum'' on this site,you will get many opinions,experiences and advice.Good Luck!

Thank`s for the responses...
I already checked in the Thomas Resort for the time i will be in Udon and I guess that I will meet there some germans who are known to the Practices in the Isaan better than I am...
I only hope that are not the ugly, fat, rusty ones I often saw in TKK for example....

The other thing is...
Did anyone say that I am interested in a `long-distance-relationship`...?
And please, what kind of relationship should that be man?
Sick...
No sorry, but any comprehension for the guys who make such huge investments into a Bride thousands of Miles away are totally missing here...
Be real...!

No way- wrong connected...

I am also not the guy who `falls in love` and wtf else and all the talk after all is ridiculous!
Sometimes I have had already the impression that a very tough bar-girl could be the best for me- There I know where I stand....

No, I am only (if ever) looking for a normal woman with a normal (what means not a sick) mentality and sexuality who`d like to be together with a western guy...
That there should be a kind of attraction is clear and doesn`t need any explanation...

It is okay for me if she tries to better her living-standart (I do that too in going into other countries for working/ living) and to support her family but if I am already to help her, maybe marry her and taking care for her and here she cannot go far from the point that I will take on me any other big and obvious expenses or that I pay sin sod and not to talk about monthly support to the fam. She can do herself if she owns her own money

Get your ass to the wall b**** !


Thanks for you attention!

Hello Werner,
I use my low level english writing to give another reply.
I enjoy currently the "long distance relationship" with a thai woman hence I can add some points

Hi Werner.

I am also in a "Long distance relationship" with a Thai lady.

We have been in a happy in a stable relationship for over 2 years. We are both working in our own business. With family commitments in our respective countries.

To say that 2 mature adults cant have a "Long distance relationship" that is successfull.
Only shows that persons "Own Insecurities"

Thai women do marry older Falangs for many reasons, mainly security and financial. So do western women.
There is a saying "Learn to love where the money is"

Take your time its not a race.
Double check every time before you make a commitment.
Use common sence and dont flash the cash.

All the best.
Colin