Thailand Causes Global Warming

by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 1:33 am

Well, here you go, the answer to global warming, and better than that, the culprits are identified.

As the following ditty proves without a doubt, global warming is caused by pollution in the big cities.

Taxis are at the heart of the problem, in particular, taxi drivers from Isaan going to the big cities and emitting noxious gases (the taxis, not the drivers, are responsible for the gases!) .

Courtesy of Jintara Poonlarp, we have all of the answers to this one problem. Shut down the taxis, keep the drivers in Isaan, and the worldwide pollution issue is solved.

by **Fawn** » July 16, 2009, 1:50 am

That lady should be running the country, Uncle Tilo. Can't she blow away the Bangkok pollution by flapping her ears?

by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 2:03 am

It is possible but highly unlikely unless Jintara is joined by that paragon of virtue - the green Prince Charles. How Camilla and Jango would react to them flapping their wings together is beyond my comprehension, but it does leave one feeling all warm and fuzzy and clean inside.

Let me take that back. There is no way brave Jintara should be transforming the fetid air to the cleanest air in this solar system with our beloved future ruler

Can Prince Charles do the hokey-pokey, 'that's what life is all about'?

So many questions, so little time..

by **Fawn** » July 16, 2009, 2:08 am

You mean the 'Hokey Cokey', great mate of the Dominions.

Speaking of HRH the Prince of Wales and Global Warming, how about signing up to this?

http://www.rainforestsos.org/

Did Thailand ever have a rainforest? :-k

by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 2:19 am

This gives Prince Charles something to do rather than fritting away his life on websites discussing conspiracy theories. Furthermore, he has Kermit the Frog and Robert Mugabe on board as devoted followers.

How can Jintara compare to this?

On the other hand, she is more direct and visually appealing.

The Prince should adopt the bob-style and see if he can cover up those wings.

I believe he is coming to Canada sometime soon. I will ask him about Jintara if his party ventures this way. Let's see how well-informed he is.

Maybe if Jintara's pink party takes the next election seriously, and gets backing from the right people, she might just become the next all-knowing leader of this pleasant land.

by **Fawn** » July 16, 2009, 2:29 am

Aah, they're not doing too badly with regard to emissions....well at least in 1991 anyway.

Source: http://www.tdri.or.th/library/quarterly/text/s91_2.htm

World Resources Institute estimates show that Thailand emits 1.13 percent of the world's net increase of atmospheric greenhouse gases, 67 million of 5.9 billion tons of carbon, or about 6.7 percent of U.S. emissions. In emissions per capita, Thailand emits 1.3 tons per head, slightly above the world average of 1.2 tons. Per capita emissions for the U.S., the U.K., Japan, Malaysia, and South Korea are 4.1, 2.7, 1.8, 1.6 and 0.7 tons, respectively.

by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 2:46 am

Yes, but the increase of taxi-drivers from Isaan into Bangkok since that time, 18 years ago, has been phenomenal.

This exact report is referred to by Jintara in the song...is it not? She seems to suggest it is out-of-date...something like my views on politics, music, fashion, marriage, conspiracies, Crystal Palace, the Canadian rugby team, education, worms and so on.

Why doesn't Saint get Prince Charles and his aristocratic brigage to get to his land and shoot up the bleeding worms? Since they are not able to send foxes to kingdom come anymore, it might be useful for them to help a fellow patriot out by blasting the little blighters. Dick Cheney could join them. Apparently, he is an excellent shot.

by **Fawn** » July 16, 2009, 2:59 am

You have raised some interesting points, I can't wait for the day I attend one of your lectures.

Are the worms on Doug's front lawn a direct result of Global Warming? :-k

Where would Doug put HRH up if he came to visit?

Is Doug confident enough to converse in German with HRH?

by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 3:26 am

You will rue the day that you attend one of my lectures unless you hit a lucky day when you do not have to hear me drone on and on, but you can see one of any number of documentaries about Angkor Wat, the movie, 'Year of Living Dangerously', the Attack of the Worm People who take over your body whilst you Sleep, the on-going-never ending conspiracy hearings, and inspiring speeches by Sondhi.

If the Saint does not have fitting accommodation for the nobility, they can always stay at the Karin Hotel...in the new wing, of course. Prince Charles might be able to whittle down the 600 baht/night fee to a more respectable 550 baht, with European breakfast. The Saint might have to hire what Kings of Mataram called the little people, imported from Java, to pick up the shells, but that should not be too expensive.

I forgot about the German bit. Well, as long as the Saint does not bring up the War, they should hit it off.

I need a vacation soon...real soon.

The key to a successful vacation, among other things, is to get to a Jintara concert. Only then will a degree of sanity return to this tortured carcass/soul.

Yes, the worms on his lawn are a direct result of Isaan taxi-drivers disturbing the equilibrium of the worms on his lawn so that they are going to attack in abundance with fangs bared and at the ready. Vacation...I need a vacation.

by **beer monkey** » July 16, 2009, 3:52 am

When i saw a new post in the video section...then saw it was by Tilo, i just knew Ms Jintara poonlarp would figure, is she aware you are the number 1 fan..?(In Canada anyway).
I am certain Charles can do the Hokey Cokey, lets face it he did the 'Full Monty' sketch in the Job Centre.

by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 3:58 am

If I can get to see her in Thailand this summer, Jintara will learn many things about me, but first something must be done to get her manager/husband, Jango, out of the way. I wonder if he knows how to clear lawns of worms?!?

One of these days there will be a surprise in the video section and the contribution will be by Tai Oratai, Sek Loso or the Prince performing the Hokey Cokey with his beloved better half.

by **saint** » July 16, 2009, 8:08 am

hey , there aint nobody gonna be shooting up my worms or garden O K . there my worms and ill murder them myself when im good and ready !!!!! the worms got nothing to do with global warming , they were here long before me , but like any good imperialist , i stole thier land , theyve become a nuisance , so must be eliminated . as for charlie coming to visit , my mrs says , no way pedro , one fruit cake in the house is enough . :shock:

by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 16, 2009, 8:28 am

Well, never mind then...it is the thought and good intentions that count.

No, no, no, you did not steal their land. You forget the civilising mission.

You are bringing them good government, peace, order, justice and civilisation...after you murder a few. This will ensure that they know this is British land now, and there will forever be an England!

Plant the Union Flag firmly on your soil and make sure it is right side up!!!

by **saint** » July 16, 2009, 9:34 am

no , no , no .as im not allowed to own anything here , what with me being an alien and all , this is still thai land and i will do it the thai way . i will promise them everything , and give them nothing , then if theres any discontent , ill try extracting money from them , them ill just kill them . as for the union flag , im sure you meant the sacred cross of st george . but i want be rushing out to buy one of those anytime soon .

by **arjay** » July 16, 2009, 11:39 am

Tilokarat wrote: On the other hand, she (Jintara) is more direct and visually appealing.

I found her backing dancers more visually appealing, at least what I could see of them that far back.

Saint wrote:i stole thier land

..and thus presumably their food!! (Or did you just lease it from them?

Beer Monkey wrote: I am certain Charles can do the Hokey Cokey, lets face it he did the 'Full Monty' sketch in the Job Centre.

As I remember it, Charles was into the Three Degrees. I don't know if that conflicted with his views on global warming?

Tilokarat wrote:I need a vacation soon...real soon.

Me too, I think.

Tilokarat wrote: The key to a successful vacation, among other things, is to get to a Jintara concert. Only then will a degree of sanity return to this tortured carcass/soul.

Yes, the worms on his lawn are a direct result of Isaan taxi-drivers disturbing the equilibrium of the worms on his lawn so that they are going to attack in abundance with fangs bared and at the ready. Vacation...I need a vacation.

Yes, I think you do!

And I'm beginning to think I do too!

Thailand Causes Global Warming

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