Sin-sod

by **Fawn** » August 11, 2009, 2:18 am

Marmite The Missus wrote:Maybe we should have a poll? "How much did your wife cost?" And the follow up thread, "Was she worth it?".

Ooh, that's a wee bit naughty Jase. I agree with Sanuk Joe, just hope this one doesn't degenerate into insults.

by **saint** » August 11, 2009, 5:03 am

lets look at this from a thai point of view . there are no pensions , social security , and poor health services in thailand . thais in rural poorer areas tend to have more children , these children are expected to contribute to the family budget later in life , and support their aging parents . very similar situation to the western world years ago , when we did not look to the government or state for any help later in life . when a thai girl marries , she tends to leave her family , and joins her husbands family . therfore her family have lost an asset , an asset that would of contributed to the family financialy or with her labour . she may very well still give her own parents finacial help , but her husbands family would take presidence . i see sin sot as a kind of compensation for reducing her families assets . now , as in my case , had the family invested heavily in the girls education , and made numerous sacrifices to send their child to university , to put them in a better position in the market place , job wise , to generate a better income for not only the child , but the entire family . they , the family have lost a considerable investment . so to all of you who think of sin sot as a scam , think on it as a business or investment . by marrying their daughter , you are stripping them of an asset , for which they should be reinbursed . :-k

by **beer monkey** » August 11, 2009, 5:17 am

What about the Hi-so weddings...millions of baht and Gold are on display...they surely don't need it.

by **Laan Yaa Mo** » August 11, 2009, 5:20 am

Khun Saint, when you are not bleary-eyed from a lack of sleep, or fresh from a rampage murdering small insects and creatures in gardens, or burning down the houses of neighbours, you can make a lot of sense.

We had a huge rain storm replete with thunder and lightning last night in Toronto too. Not easy to sleep through that even if it was nine at night.

Well, take it easy, don't go ballistic and harm the animals, or tease the wife by pouring ice-cold water on her whilst she sleeps and you squirm.

by **pompui** » August 11, 2009, 7:39 am

saint wrote:lets look at this from a thai point of view . there are no pensions , social security , and poor health services in thailand . thais in rural poorer areas tend to have more children , these children are expected to contribute to the family budget later in life , and support their aging parents . very similar situation to the western world years ago , when we did not look to the government or state for any help later in life . when a thai girl marries , she tends to leave her family , and joins her husbands family . therfore her family have lost an asset , an asset that would of contributed to the family financialy or with her labour . she may very well still give her own parents finacial help , but her husbands family would take presidence . i see sin sot as a kind of compensation for reducing her families assets . now , as in my case , had the family invested heavily in the girls education , and made numerous sacrifices to send their child to university , to put them in a better position in the market place , job wise , to generate a better income for not only the child , but the entire family . they , the family have lost a considerable investment . so to all of you who think of sin sot as a scam , think on it as a business or investment . by marrying their daughter , you are stripping them of an asset , for which they should be reinbursed .

Well put, I always took the same view Saint, with the exception of course that if your loved one has been married before, with or without kids,a sinsodt would have been paid and therefore the family cannot use here like some form of reusable product :evil:

I have seen the amounts similar to LA has quoted for Thai/Thai weddings and I of course fell within the higher limit for Thai/Farang.
As BM says sinsodt is not necessarily done with the rich Thais,it is done for show and passed back.
If someone wants to give money despite it not being required then up to you but it is not then sinsodt number 2

by **jetdoc** » August 11, 2009, 9:09 am

For me sinsodt is very simple, If she is worth it pay, if not don't pay. See how easy that was

by **aznyron** » August 11, 2009, 9:25 am

let put in to facts poor thai girl working in a factory makes about 5K a month from that she has to eat and pay rent so the most she can contribute would be 1500 a month and I am being generous to the parents
so when Momma & poppa look for 5 & 10 K a month from there falong son in law and the wife request that much to be given I take issue with that then IMO it time to run. I told my wife if her parents were alive I would keep them well feed but would not give them money and I have a house in the village & they would live there but no way jose am I going to give cash and as for sin sod no way and if the parents are younger than the son in law let them work I would not support a father in law in his 40 or early 50 pumping out kids for your retirement is unfair practice on the children since they life is doomed with out a good education and they can not give it

by **banpaeng** » August 11, 2009, 9:25 am

It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.

by **aznyron** » August 11, 2009, 9:37 am

banpaeng wrote:It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian I am not disputing your post or jetdoc but I will not be scammed because I make more money than a Thai
or be used because my income is good

by **banpaeng** » August 11, 2009, 9:59 am

Not sure how you got that Ron as your post was not even on here when I posted mine. We must have been doing it at the same time. Don't even know where you got the scam part.

Again Sinsod and scam are not one in the same. It is part of Thai life. To say it is a scam is disrespectful to Thais. However you can or not choose to indulge. It is truly a simple thing.

by **Aardvark** » August 11, 2009, 10:25 am

My Wifes Daughter (15 years old) just got married in June to a Man (24 years old) from a nearby Village and was willing to pay Bt70,000 for Sinsod. The wife declined as she thought they would need the money and the Man moved in to my Wifes house. No way is it a "part of thai life" it depends on who they marry ! If the Girl had wanted a Falang I can assure you the Westerner would have payed dearly for a "Good Girl". I was opposed to the whole thing from the beginning but was told to mind my own business as the Grand parents had already given there consent. Guess who pays all of the household expenses :evil:

So now I have another mouth to feed :shock:

by **polehawk** » August 11, 2009, 12:04 pm

Wife's nephew invited us to accompany his mother, big brother, other family members, friends and him to Nongbualamphu to "Meet the Parents" of his fiance and set Sin Sod parameters. Actually, think he wanted me to drive them all out there in my van but I respectfully declined the kind offer because I had to make a "non-scheduled, impromptu visit" to Nong Khai Immigration. I wasn't in a chauffeur mood that day and figured that a farang in the woodpile would drive up the price. They paid another village relative gas money to load up a pickup and haul them out there.

Maybe I should have gone along since my negotiating skills couldn't have been any worse than theirs. A deal was stricken as follows.....both principles were married previously and each had a child from their alliances. The prospective groom will have to pay 150,000 baht and 3 baht-weight in gold to the ma-in-law for the privilege of matrimony with her only daughter. Both bride and groom earn good salaries to the tune of 15-20K combined per month and have agreed to pitch in and pay the Sin Sod together with marriage to take place in about a year from now.

Makes you wonder what kind of a deal would have been negotiated if a farang had proposed to this princess? :-k

by **pompui** » August 11, 2009, 12:21 pm

jetdoc wrote:For me sinsodt is very simple, If she is worth it pay, if not don't pay. See how easy that was

LOL Should have asked Lee for you to do the write up in the magazine and then could have fitted Sin Sodt,Internet dating and Scamming all on one page.

by **aznyron** » August 11, 2009, 12:35 pm

this thread is getting some action I posted my opinion and feelings about paying sin sod as for calling it a scam being disrespectful sorry but I call it the way i see it if it disrespectful those are my words and they stand as it written. as American with a married Daughter i paid for her wedding not all of it but part my former wife helped as well as my son in law & daughter they all gave a little so I am deeply opposed on families capitalizing on there daughter wedding it a day of joy not a business deal and if there is true love there would be no negotiating sin sod I am also opposed in buying a wife and to me that what sin sod represents

by **SanukJoe** » August 11, 2009, 2:41 pm

aznyron wrote: and if there is true love there would be no negotiating sin sod I am also opposed in buying a wife and to me that what sin sod represents

A shame you didn't read my earlier post (or you don't believe me

). No way you are buying your future wife by paying sin sod. As has been posted before it's a compensation for lost labour of the daughter, that's one. It also shows that the future husband (you) has enough means to support his wife and future kids. That is the Thai (Isaan) tradition and it is not up to us to disrespect that.
The "negotiations" are big fun and not serious at all as all parties know the groom and bride will marry anyway. Jokes are made, drinking and eating are obligatory and at the end there is an agreement.
In my case I did not pay sin sod as such but promised to improve the housing of the parents and help in improving their cattle breeding by buying an excellent bull

That "generous" offer would cost me approx. 100K, before that the parents gave a piece of land to us (2 rai) which would have cost the same if I would have bought a similar piece of land. So we built our house on it and improvements to the parents housing have been made in the meantime, I don't support them in any other way.

Joe

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