Sin-sod

jetdoc wrote:For me sinsodt is very simple, If she is worth it pay, if not don't pay. See how easy that was

If she's not worth it, drop her!

Joe

Thank you la and Joe for giving some thought to my questions.
Plien

Aardvark wrote:My Wifes Daughter (15 years old) just got married in June to a Man (24 years old) from a nearby Village and was willing to pay Bt70,000 for Sinsod. The wife declined as she thought they would need the money and the Man moved in to my Wifes house. No way is it a "part of thai life" it depends on who they marry ! If the Girl had wanted a Falang I can assure you the Westerner would have payed dearly for a "Good Girl". I was opposed to the whole thing from the beginning but was told to mind my own business as the Grand parents had already given there consent. Guess who pays all of the household expenses So now I have another mouth to feed

Hello Aadvark. Do I understand it right that you provide for the whole family but have no say?
And you are also supporting the grand parents. but they call the shots?
And a young man bought his way into a family wich a farang provides for is now himself also taken care of?

Thanks for sharing this situation as its an example to where I wanted to go with my previous posts here.
Plien

Joe you said if she not worth it drop her is this after you pay the sin sod or before I read your post
I have no disagreement with it if you read my earliest post paying sin sod is a personal choice
I just posted my opinion on that form of tradition. and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family. some how they must think we are fools now I do want to say it not the majority of families that this happens in but far to many that it should be posted and talk about.
I went to my wife niece wedding which she is now my niece the village people who attended all wanted me to buy beer which I did but I had to cut it off other wise it would have gone on all night BTW I do not drink or smoke so I am also opposed in supporting other peoples vices.

Ron wrote:the village people who attended all wanted me to buy beer

Wow...were they invited or just in the neighbourhood and gatecrashed the party...thats a bit Kin-neeow of them...they should have brought you the beers.

Ron wrote:but I had to cut it off other wise it would have gone on all night

Fortuneatly my Mrs won't stand for any of that either....so she takes care of it if it does arise, i stopped years back, and they all know where they stand.

banpaeng wrote:It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.

Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate.

aznyron wrote:and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family.

I guess I'm in the minority. At every family gathering I've been to I've never been asked for a single satang. Even though we've offered to give a little something towards a family social event it's been refused only to be told that we're their guest.

I gave 100,000baht as sin sod and after the wedding the 100,000 baht was returned to me and then gave papa 3,000 baht for looking after the money all day of the wedding, we found it wrapped in a towel lying on his bed with the door open
3 baht gold was shown which was already my wifes she took it off the night before gave to me.

"Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate."
My decision to marry was based on tax advantage only, we were happy just living together. The reward has been awesome in 5 short years saved about 10 times the amount I paid in sinsodt. I wish all my investments were this fruitful. Although your statement is correct my desperation was financially based as opposed to emotional.

Fawn wrote:

banpaeng wrote:It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.

Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate.

Not sure what you meant. Was not desperate, neither did I say I paid or not. Guess somethings come easy for some and some not.

papaguido wrote:

aznyron wrote:and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family.

I guess I'm in the minority. At every family gathering I've been to I've never been asked for a single satang. Even though we've offered to give a little something towards a family social event it's been refused only to be told that we're their guest.

Hey Pops, can I join your club. Have been to many village functions and very seldom coughed up any Baht. It is just not wife's village but in several functions I have attended.

I wish I had done ' sin sot ' - woudn't still be shelving out for me father in laws - beer every month ,and er'es me in the UK - half skint - and that old sod's on the piss everyday!! , woudn't change it for the world though - suppose he deserves it that age,

banpaeng wrote:

papaguido wrote:

aznyron wrote:and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family.

I guess I'm in the minority. At every family gathering I've been to I've never been asked for a single satang. Even though we've offered to give a little something towards a family social event it's been refused only to be told that we're their guest.

Hey Pops, can I join your club. Have been to many village functions and very seldom coughed up any Baht. It is just not wife's village but in several functions I have attended.

I think I'm lucky in the sense that a majority of my wife's family are university educated working professionals. A majority are educators and a few retired with gov pension. Life in the ville (Ban Fang) centered around the grandmother who recently past away. The aunties & uncles still living in the ville own much of the land that is rented out and additional income supplements their pension.

In regards to sin sod, I have been to 3 wedding ceremonies and have witness 1 sin sod negotiation. In each case the money went towards the wedding, reception and head start money towards the couples future.

jetdoc wrote:"Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate."
My decision to marry was based on tax advantage only, we were happy just living together. The reward has been awesome in 5 short years saved about 10 times the amount I paid in sinsodt. I wish all my investments were this fruitful. Although your statement is correct my desperation was financially based as opposed to emotional.

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I don't believe you I believe you love your wife more than life you see we are friends i see how you act around her
& I am no different all though I did not need a tax exemption what I need is taxable income I am broke

aznyron wrote:Joe you said if she not worth it drop her is this after you pay the sin sod or before I read your post

What I meant is that if you are of such a level that you put a price tag on your future wife and you feel she is not worth paying sin sod, don't discuss sin sod nor an eventual marriage with her but drop her as you don't give a damn about her!

I have no disagreement with it if you read my earliest post paying sin sod is a personal choice

true

I just posted my opinion on that form of tradition. and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family. some how they must think we are fools now I do want to say it not the majority of families that this happens in but far to many that it should be posted and talk about.
I went to my wife niece wedding which she is now my niece the village people who attended all wanted me to buy beer which I did but I had to cut it off other wise it would have gone on all night BTW I do not drink or smoke so I am also opposed in supporting other peoples vices.

As you can read from other posters not every one is unlucky or foolish to pay for the inlaws. I have no problem either as when the two brothers of my wife come over they buy so much beer for me that I feel it's my turn now and buy them beer, never cigarettes as I don't smoke

On the other hand, when they need money (they always do in spite of having a job) they call my wife who takes care of it with a simple refusal, so never a problem.
When some event in the village some people ask me to buy them a beer, my answer always: send me your beautiful daughter or sister, if you have one, and I will buy her a beer. I smile, the guy smiles and leaves... problem solved