New relationship advice!

Long distance relationships, mixed relationships etc...
kenadams
New Member
Posts: 3
Joined: October 6, 2013, 8:25 pm

New relationship advice!

Post by kenadams » October 6, 2013, 8:50 pm

Looking for some advice, all advice welcome!

So, I met this Thai girl on holidays about a year ago in Phuket. She works in the bar and is what is known as a bar girl I suppose. Anyway, we kept contact a small bit over about 10 months, just the odd email here and there. I visited Thailand again recently and spent about 10 days with her and we got on pretty good. We did a bit of travelling around and didnt just do the typical Patong scene. We ate at all the local markets and spent some time with the locals in areas outside of the touristy areas.
She is 30 this year and I am 31 by the way.

She used to live in Australia for about 6 years, where she was working and dating her ex boyfriend, who was probably about 15 years older than her. Anyway, that didnt work out for whatever reason and she went back to thailand where she started working in phuket.

I am currently living and working in Australia, although I am from Europe originally. We have gotten on quite well and i think I want to give it a go with her. We talked about how it could work with us and seemed to come up with the idea of her coming to Australia for a while. I cant give here a visa as I am not a citizen, so she is seeing what she can do to get a visa to work for herself. She has a few friends from her last relationship and they seem to want to help her out so she can come back too. She is back with her family at the moment visiting relations and what not and also wants to call to the Australian embassy to talk about her options to come back to australia.

I know I haven't given too much detail, but please feel free to ask any questions or leave a comment. Basically, I do like the girl and we do seem to get on quite well. I have never really had any trouble getting a girlfriend before and I suppose Im not too bad looking, but there is something about this girl and she seems to have a spell on me! I just dont want to rush into anything and I know it is easy to be blinded by somethings when your in lust after someone... ;) thanks for the help:)



jai yen yen
udonmap.com
Posts: 1363
Joined: August 13, 2009, 8:35 am
Location: Canada, Hua Hin

New relationship advice!

Post by jai yen yen » October 6, 2013, 10:50 pm

kenadams wrote:Looking for some advice, all advice welcome!

So, I met this Thai girl on holidays about a year ago in Phuket. She works in the bar and is what is known as a bar girl I suppose. Anyway, we kept contact a small bit over about 10 months, just the odd email here and there. I visited Thailand again recently and spent about 10 days with her and we got on pretty good. We did a bit of travelling around and didnt just do the typical Patong scene. We ate at all the local markets and spent some time with the locals in areas outside of the touristy areas.
She is 30 this year and I am 31 by the way.

She used to live in Australia for about 6 years, where she was working and dating her ex boyfriend, who was probably about 15 years older than her. Anyway, that didnt work out for whatever reason and she went back to thailand where she started working in phuket.

I am currently living and working in Australia, although I am from Europe originally. We have gotten on quite well and i think I want to give it a go with her. We talked about how it could work with us and seemed to come up with the idea of her coming to Australia for a while. I cant give here a visa as I am not a citizen, so she is seeing what she can do to get a visa to work for herself. She has a few friends from her last relationship and they seem to want to help her out so she can come back too. She is back with her family at the moment visiting relations and what not and also wants to call to the Australian embassy to talk about her options to come back to australia.

I know I haven't given too much detail, but please feel free to ask any questions or leave a comment. Basically, I do like the girl and we do seem to get on quite well. I have never really had any trouble getting a girlfriend before and I suppose Im not too bad looking, but there is something about this girl and she seems to have a spell on me! I just dont want to rush into anything and I know it is easy to be blinded by somethings when your in lust after someone... ;) thanks for the help:)
Ask yourself one question. Would you have a relationship with a prostitute from Australia? Thai bargirls maybe young, pretty and sweet but they are still prostitutes. Think about that very hard.

User avatar
dezzer
udonmap.com
Posts: 625
Joined: January 26, 2012, 6:40 pm

New relationship advice!

Post by dezzer » October 6, 2013, 10:54 pm

Watch your money best advice.
You'll Never Walk Alone L.F.C.

faranginUTH
udonmap.com
Posts: 252
Joined: October 27, 2007, 11:19 am

New relationship advice!

Post by faranginUTH » October 6, 2013, 10:56 pm

I hope you did not have to pay her barfine for the 10 days?

you should download and read the free e-book private dancer by stephen leather

****** = hooker

User avatar
tamada
udonmap.com
Posts: 17213
Joined: February 21, 2007, 4:03 am
Location: Down two...then left

New relationship advice!

Post by tamada » October 6, 2013, 11:05 pm

You are thinking about taking a Thai girl you met in Phuket to Australia.

You are asking for advice on the Udon forum.

Why?

kenadams
New Member
Posts: 3
Joined: October 6, 2013, 8:25 pm

New relationship advice!

Post by kenadams » October 6, 2013, 11:38 pm

Yea, well wasn't goin to Thailand just to meet her, but met her on the 2nd nite into the trip.. Paid for bar fine for 3 nights after that, then just took time off for the rest!

Downloading the book now... Cheers.

Eh, dunno, just seemed like a good place to get advice?!

User avatar
dezzer
udonmap.com
Posts: 625
Joined: January 26, 2012, 6:40 pm

New relationship advice!

Post by dezzer » October 6, 2013, 11:46 pm

Yes why ask on this forum are you in Udon now i note you joined the forum to-day. Just curious.
You'll Never Walk Alone L.F.C.

User avatar
pompui
udonmap.com
Posts: 3227
Joined: April 19, 2007, 3:39 pm
Location: udon thani

New relationship advice!

Post by pompui » October 7, 2013, 3:18 am

What is the update regarding Aussies taking lasses to Australia these days,2 years of correspondence,photos etc :-k
Have you checked the Aussie Embassy website for the latest info on the visiting visa to Oz :-k
No mention of the lass from Udon :-k
Maybe need to wait a tad longer Kenadams \:D/

User avatar
trubrit
udonmap.com
Posts: 6158
Joined: March 16, 2008, 12:30 pm
Location: Having a good time .

New relationship advice!

Post by trubrit » October 7, 2013, 6:36 am

By asking for advice on here you are showing due caution, which is a good thing. As none of us know you or her we cannot be too specific so here is my general comment. You are very young,presumably have a good job working overseas so no problems there, so go for it man. What else are you sweating your gonads off for, but to have a good time. Enjoy it while you can, believe me you get old quick enough .Don't listen to all the tales you will hear about her scamming you .What if she does get you to pass your money over to her?That's what it's for , spending. It doesn't give you any pleasure tied up in a bank.Go for it man, enjoy every minute. Tomorrows another day. Even if it costs you a fortune you are young enough to earn another one .BUT and this is a big BUT, don't lose your heart, that's not so easy to replace .
Ageing is a privilige denied to many .

User avatar
Sakhonnick
udonmap.com
Posts: 722
Joined: March 2, 2011, 10:11 am

New relationship advice!

Post by Sakhonnick » October 7, 2013, 6:56 am

funny im reading the OP and about 3 years ago i met a girl online living in Bangkok who sounded exactly the same, her name is not "Song" by any chance? but she was 30 back then, lived on OZ for 6 years with her ex who was about 15years older than her, i was seeing her for a few months then pulled the plug last time i spoke to her she wanted to go to Phuket, i know slim chance but just rang a bell.

anyway its hard one, if you date her and your in OZ and shes in Phuket 100% shes shagging other guys ok may be customers but not really a nice thought if you want her as your girlfriend, if you take her to OZ im sure you will have to support her until she gets a job and helps to support herself, but being the man, most men pay to support more so than women pay to support men in a relationship, its all down to how much are you willing to loose if it goes tits up.

100% shes shagging if your not there in Phuket, unless she goes back to her home town which still does not make it 100% sure she will not cheat but better than working out of a bar, bars have rules they must go with customers so accept that.

Just dont spend all you hard earned money on her until you see her giving you somthing back with love and care

User avatar
pompui
udonmap.com
Posts: 3227
Joined: April 19, 2007, 3:39 pm
Location: udon thani

New relationship advice!

Post by pompui » October 7, 2013, 7:06 am

kenadams wrote: She used to live in Australia for about 6 years, where she was working and dating her ex boyfriend, who was probably about 15 years older than her. Anyway, that didnt work out for whatever reason and she went back to thailand where she started working in phuket.
She should be helping you about the hoops she had to go through or poles she had to swing on the first time in getting her Oz visa.
Have a jolly good time whatever you do \:D/

User avatar
LoveDaBlues
udonmap.com
Posts: 891
Joined: December 30, 2005, 3:06 pm

New relationship advice!

Post by LoveDaBlues » October 7, 2013, 7:15 am

I think you should marry her ASAP and give her 50% of all monies you earn for the rest of your lives. I envy you, it's always been my dream to marry a ho and always be wondering "did that guy over there screw her" or "maybe the guy sitting by the door who keeps looking over"?

User avatar
Sakhonnick
udonmap.com
Posts: 722
Joined: March 2, 2011, 10:11 am

New relationship advice!

Post by Sakhonnick » October 7, 2013, 7:23 am

Sakhonnick wrote:funny im reading the OP and about 3 years ago i met a girl online living in Bangkok who sounded exactly the same, her name is not "Song" by any chance? but she was 30 back then, lived on OZ for 6 years with her ex who was about 15years older than her, i was seeing her for a few months then pulled the plug last time i spoke to her she wanted to go to Phuket, i know slim chance but just rang a bell.

anyway its hard one, if you date her and your in OZ and shes in Phuket 100% shes shagging other guys ok may be customers but not really a nice thought if you want her as your girlfriend, if you take her to OZ im sure you will have to support her until she gets a job and helps to support herself, but being the man, most men pay to support more so than women pay to support men in a relationship, its all down to how much are you willing to loose if it goes tits up.

100% shes shagging if your not there in Phuket, unless she goes back to her home town which still does not make it 100% sure she will not cheat but better than working out of a bar, bars have rules they must go with customers so accept that.

Just dont spend all you hard earned money on her until you see her giving you somthing back with love and care
BTW if she has told you she is only service or cashier when your not there think again, many years ago this cute little cashier in soi 6 Pattaya was the cutest little thing i had seen, for a few weeks i tried to get her to come sit and have a drink she kept saying she not go customer, finally i get her to have a drink a week later manage to get her panties off and she remained the cashier, well each time id go to there bar she come giggling round and sit with me and yes on a few occations id pop upstairs with her, oh she promised she only go with me she said she cashier i only work 2 months then go back college which she did,, anyway she knew my work schedule and knew i was away, for a month i came back a week early and thought i would surprise her, walked in to the bar about 5pm, music blasting and girls dancing naked all over wow whats going on here? bunch of guys getting all the girls to dance naked i get to the bar and inocent little bar cashier who was only mine haha was serving drinks totaly naked and when seen me ran to the back to change, funny when i think how sucked in i got, later i find out she been shagging for months , they love to tell you what they want. as ofcourse i was giving her money and would say anything not to loose that few thousand a month !!!

User avatar
semperfiguy
udonmap.com
Posts: 2446
Joined: July 16, 2010, 12:49 pm
Location: Udon Thani, Thailand

New relationship advice!

Post by semperfiguy » October 7, 2013, 9:26 am

OP's Quote: "but there is something about this girl and she seems to have a spell on me!"

The key to your answer is in your comment above. Seems that she is the one that has a spell on you and not vice-versa. It's easy to get trapped when your ego is constantly being tapped. These girls are professional ego tappers. That's why they're in the bar...because they're trying to find a way out of their dark hole of despair. The odds are against you that this girl is sincere. So, if I were you I would be arranging a serious of tests for her that would allow you to really get a handle on her true intentions, and be prepared to cut her loose in a hurry if the red flags start appearing. Best of luck!
Colossians 2:8-10...See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, which are based on human tradition and the spiritual forces of the world rather than on Christ. For in HIM dwells all the fullness of the GODHEAD bodily; and you are complete in HIM, who is the head of all principality and power.

User avatar
pf-flyer
udonmap.com
Posts: 590
Joined: April 4, 2007, 11:25 pm
Location: 26 Kilometers East of Udorn

New relationship advice!

Post by pf-flyer » October 7, 2013, 11:47 am

Quote: " I would be arranging a serious of tests for her that would allow you to really get a handle on her true intentions, and be prepared to cut her loose in a hurry if the red flags start appearing. Best of luck! "
I agree. Do the tests and guard your heart.. I am reminded of the old Beatles song " Can't buy me love ". Love and loyalty are won and not bought...I learned that lesson the hard way when I was stationed here in the early 70s... I was finally fortunate enough to win the heart a of wonderful thai women and we have been married for 40 years. There are a lot of pretty faces out there ( As the Thai's say ) that have a cold black heart. Do not be naive as I was and as a lot of others were in the 70s. Good Luck
"Life is like a tube of toothpaste. Outward pressure brings out the inward contents."

jai yen yen
udonmap.com
Posts: 1363
Joined: August 13, 2009, 8:35 am
Location: Canada, Hua Hin

New relationship advice!

Post by jai yen yen » October 7, 2013, 12:38 pm

Seriously, Bar girls are for fun not relationships. To a bargirl money is the most important thing, you will never be that important to her. Unless you have lots of money. :D

akwoodworker
udonmap.com
Posts: 331
Joined: December 6, 2011, 11:42 am

New relationship advice!

Post by akwoodworker » October 7, 2013, 1:04 pm

The guys here, Fairbanks, Alaska, who married bar girls are a happy lot. Their wives love money, spending money,all the time. Have to agree bar girls are for fun, not serious. You may find one if you keep going through them but by that time you will be broke and no bar girls likes a broke man, gotta have the cash. Your choice, perhaps it is something you have to learn first hand. Odds are the day you leave another is in the wings.

kenadams
New Member
Posts: 3
Joined: October 6, 2013, 8:25 pm

New relationship advice!

Post by kenadams » October 7, 2013, 4:51 pm

Yea.. I guess I'm starting to see the light a bit more... Think I'm always going to be thinking further down the line just how many guys have screwed her, or will I always just be thinking she's just a bar girl and never be able to get past that.
I'm not overly concerned with the money draining bit just yet, if she were to move it would be her visa and I guess I wouldn't be tied in too deep. Granted I'm sure I'd be coughing up a bit at the start, but I guess I would do that for anyone I was seeing if they were moving over. She sent a fair bit of money home when she was in oz last time to her family... Guess she will probably be asking me to do the same few years down the line.
Yea, under no illusions if she stays in Phuket she will be with customers and back to what these girls do best.
Nevertheless, I haven't invested anything into this yet and definetly proceeding with caution... Somebody mentioned some tests to do to figure her out a bit more, what do these tests involved?
...
On a future note, where do I find a Thai girl with a better chance of not being a scammer or money fiend?!

User avatar
marjamlew
udonmap.com
Posts: 2192
Joined: March 13, 2006, 2:00 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

New relationship advice!

Post by marjamlew » October 7, 2013, 5:14 pm

If she lived in Oz for 6 years she's have residency status and therefore wouldn't need a tourist visa. Just fly her in and see how you go. If she doesn't have residency status maybe she's bullshitting ya about the 6 years.
Watch Me!!

User avatar
marjamlew
udonmap.com
Posts: 2192
Joined: March 13, 2006, 2:00 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

New relationship advice!

Post by marjamlew » October 7, 2013, 5:34 pm

[quote=...
On a future note, where do I find a Thai girl with a better chance of not being a scammer or money fiend?![/quote]


Internet dating site for sure. :shock: :shock: \:D/ \:D/ [-X

IMO the only way to do this is to spend a lot of time in Thailand, apply common sense and good judgement and have a lot of good luck.
Watch Me!!

Post Reply

Return to “Relationships”