Advice needed - possible divorce

Long distance relationships, mixed relationships etc...
tskah
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Advice needed - possible divorce

Post by tskah » April 20, 2014, 7:13 pm

I am British and in my late fifties, married to a girl from Udon in her mid-twenties. We got married 2 years ago, and I brought her to live with me in the Gulf where I live and work. BTW, I am a very youthful and supposedly presentable 50-something and she is actually a university educated girl - just to help understand the context better...

I need some advice urgently, because after 2+ rocky years of marriage, the relationship has taken a serious turn for the worse and it looks like we are headed for divorce. In brief, I paid for lavish wedding in her hometown, as well as getting the official certificate from the Amphur in Bangkok. All in all, in addition to supporting her and supplying her with a nice lifestyle for all that time, I have paid out about maybe 1M baht in total including dowry + monthly support for her family back home etc. over the 2+ years.

She left me some weeks ago, and went back to Thailand (all at my expense of course). She says it is over and she will not return to the Gulf to be with me. But she still expects monthly support for her and her family. I sent her some money this month, and it turns out she used part of it to go and meet a new boyfriend who has a house in another part of Thailand.

FYI: I have no property in Thailand, and she has no access to my money or my country.
What are my options?



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dezzer
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Post by dezzer » April 20, 2014, 8:16 pm

Better off without the gold digger mate,some of these Thai girls don't no when they got it so good , don't send her any more money to lavish on her Thai boyfriend, probably with the boy friend when you married there's no keeping up with some of the slippery bastards.
You'll Never Walk Alone L.F.C.

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Zidane
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Post by Zidane » April 20, 2014, 9:08 pm

If you have no property in Thailand and you have no assets in a Thai bank,there is sweet fa she can do about it.
Dont send her any money.....let her Thai boyfriend look after her.
NB: If this happens you will probably have contact with your ex saying its all a mistake and she still loves you ! :-s
Just ignore this and look after yourself......remember if you dont take care of your interests no-one else will ! =;
Just when I thought our chance had passed,you go and save the best for last.

nel123
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Post by nel123 » April 20, 2014, 9:25 pm

Think of yourself mate! A friend of mine went through a similar situation with his wife, she wanted to go back to Thailand to do house repairs for her mums house. He sent 300k baht for this... He didn't hear anything for 6 weeks! The money had run out!! She came up with the usual nonsense.... She gave up a decent home, decent husband and decent job in the Uk. She now works in a factory in Bangkok earning 8k per month. Unfortunate thing is he is thinking of taking her back! Please don't make the same mistake!

jai yen yen
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Post by jai yen yen » April 20, 2014, 10:22 pm

You are lucky, let her go and no more money, a cheap lesson learned.

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old-timer
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Post by old-timer » April 21, 2014, 3:11 am

What would you do if she was British?
Do the same as that.

\:D/ .....................OT

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GT93
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Post by GT93 » April 21, 2014, 5:13 am

It seems you probably have a good income so as already has been stated this is a fairly cheap lesson for you. Chalk it up to experience and don't try to win her back. Move on. Living in the Gulf would be a big challenge for many Thai women.
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downunder
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Post by downunder » April 21, 2014, 7:00 am

You have no obligations to her. its a case of she made her bed, now she has to lie in it. however divorcing her could prove different/ My experience tells me you will not win that one especially if you apply in Thailand. Make sure you divorce her through the Court in England

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merchant seaman
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Post by merchant seaman » April 21, 2014, 7:06 am

Best advice you can get from a forum is to consult an attorney, as far as the divorce goes. As far as taking her back that's up to you.
No man has a good enough memory to be a succesful liar.

Bonanza
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Advice needed - possible divorce

Post by Bonanza » April 21, 2014, 7:18 am

As you are British, your marriage in Thailand is considered as a legal marriage in UK. So, she is still married to you unless there is a divorce.
a. If you are still married there is no law that says you must give anything to your wife, so cease any payments. You could file for divorce in UK on the grounds of desertion - if this is not contested (how will they know where as address is unknown) it will take one year.
b. Cancel any visas/residence permits she has in the Gulf.
b. Consult a divorce solicitor in UK.

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socksy
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Post by socksy » April 21, 2014, 7:23 am

Is the marriage registered in the UK?
If so be careful because maybe she will be entitled to some of what you have there.
If you have no intention of getting remarried sod the divorce and crack on with your life, or divorce here as you have nothing to lose here.
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samsam
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Post by samsam » April 21, 2014, 7:34 am

dezzer,where you from,17 years with my wife,talk about,they ar all the same aint nice, samsam

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GT93
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Post by GT93 » April 21, 2014, 7:47 am

samsam wrote:dezzer,where you from,17 years with my wife,talk about,they ar all the same aint nice, samsam
This kind of thread gets some emotions stirred up. I don't think dezzer was generalizing to all Thai women. I do agree that sometimes the anti Thai brigade go too far with their generalizations. They don't seem to realize that if they write too generally they are writing about other members' wives, children, step-children, in-laws etc.
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maaka
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Post by maaka » April 21, 2014, 9:35 am

Marriage is an elaborate ruse IMO..
I can only support what most fella's have already said..

from my take of things..if you registered your marriage with UK Embassy in BKK, then not only under Thai law but UK law you are married...As such, your wife seems to be entitled to a share of the marriage finances and assets under UK law..wherever you have those assets, UK, Dubai or Thailand..

It takes two people to make a marriage. This may seem obvious but it has a very important consequence: if one of the spouses decides that the marriage is at an end then, effectively, it is. There is no way round that fact. Parliament and/or the Courts can establish various criteria which have to be met before a divorce can be granted and those criteria can be more or less demanding but no-one outside the marriage can force husband and wife to make it work if either think it has broken down.

For that reason it is extremely difficult to defend a divorce. The very fact that one of the parties has presented a divorce petition is a reasonable indication that at least one of the parties to the marriage thinks it is over. There are some very limited circumstances under which one spouse can prevent the other from getting a divorce but cases which fulfill such criteria are very rare. In practical terms the vast majority of husbands cannot prevent their wives obtaining a divorce (and vice versa). And within the context of men and divorce it is worth pointing out the most divorce petitions are issued by wives.

Defending a divorce petition would almost invariably incur substantial legal costs and in all probability the attempt would fail unless the circumstances were wholly exceptional. It is important to understand this. In practical terms it means that one party to a marriage cannot prevent the other spouse obtaining a divorce and there is little that can be done about it. This has the following important knock on effect.

When a marriage is dissolved by a Court the Court has almost unlimited powers to divide up all the marital assets in whatever way it sees fit although the Courts in fact make such divisions according to well understood rules. That is, it is not an arbitrary process but, equally, it is not one which either party to the marriage can prevent. It has not traditionally been possible in the UK to enter into binding pre-nuptial agreements which determine what is to happen to the marital property in the event of divorce. The Courts have complete and almost absolute jurisdiction. What this means in divorce for men UK style is that one party to the marriage can force a divorce and have the Courts decide how the marital assets ought to be split up. Short of not getting married in the first place these consequences cannot be escaped for the overwhelming majority of husbands and wives.

In short, talk to a lawyer..do you have assets that you think she maybe entitled too??

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GT93
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Post by GT93 » April 21, 2014, 9:41 am

I'll have to read this post maaka when I'm sober to have any hope of following it. 555. Oh Buddha, Easter Monday can be dull. At least the sun is shining and it's about 20 celsius. Very pleasant. I should go for a walk.
Lock 'em up - Eastman, Giuliani, Senator Graham, Meadows and Trump

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maaka
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Post by maaka » April 21, 2014, 9:51 am

Rodger that Matey... The country is closed down...already had my daily perve at the Mall while sipping a char..

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Khun Paul
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Post by Khun Paul » April 21, 2014, 9:55 am

Even though you were married AKA Amphur in Thailand , and although that marriage would be recognised in the UK there is no longer any legal obligation for you to maintain her in any way.
As you have stated quite clearly you have zero assess in Thailand then any attempt by her to obtain part of your assets elksewhere would have to be started by her, which judging by what you have said is an expense she cannot afford.

Under Thai law you would have to wait between 3-7 years ( I am a tad hazy on this ) for you to apply for a divorcee by claiming unable to maintain or co-habit or even have no idea where she is. This ais a simple and cheap exercise carried out at an Amphur, ( any Amphur ) providing you have all the correct documents including the original marriage certificate.
Asa for being married in the UK stands, unless you have registered you are not in English law, but if you have just a simple file for legal seperation and consequently after two years divorce will automatically be granted.

The task is relatively simple, BUT as she has left you you are under NO obligation to contact her, except remind her ( via a lawyer ) she is still legally married to you in Thailand and unless she files for a divorce with the local amphur she is knackered regarding relationships legally that is . of course we all know Thais do not really care for that aspect of compliance with the law unless it suits them.

opay her nothing, giove her nothing put loss of money down to one of lifes experiences. and move on.

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Post by Aardvark » April 21, 2014, 11:01 am

When my Wife left me here in Oz she threatened to take every cent I had,(advice from friends) I went to Udon and Hired a Lawyer with a known track record with Thai Falang Divorces. He took me to Court on the grounds of Desertion and I was granted the Divorce in a Thai Court. A few months later I received a letter from the Australian Divorce Court advising me they had granted my ex's request for Divorce. I had to wait 12 months to see if she was trying to get anything from me, which thankfully in the end she never did. The down side is I've never seen my Step Daughter since. They always make sure they get the last knife in ....

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Post by bumper » April 21, 2014, 1:22 pm

http://www.thailawforum.com/database1/d ... iland.html

It's all in English read it yourself.

Then you know.
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rick
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Post by rick » April 21, 2014, 11:01 pm

I am no expert, but i would think Divorce in Thailand would be better. Thai courts cannot make any claim on your UK assets; it might be different if heard in the UK, they might try to give her a share. Might be cheaper too. Other considerations; does she have a UK visa/passport, and do you ever intend coming back to Thailand?

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