True Love ?

Have been thinking about writing this for over a month and finally decided that I needed to tell this story.. It concerns a local Udon Thani lady and her romances.

My wife has been an acquaintance of this lady for several years, but not really that close...

Two years ago, she came to BKK and met an American guy that lives in Asia and vacations regularly to Thailand. These 2 appeared to hit it off well and we were invited to lunch one time and everything appeared normal. For the past year, he has been sending her 25,000 baht every month..And now I have learned that they are planning the village wedding ceremony next month.. After the wedding he will return to his job and she will stay in Udon Thani...and he will continue sending money.. He is putting up a 100,000 baht synsod...

OK here is the list of problems...

She was married(and may still be married) to a policeman in Roi Et and has 2 children there... She is currently living with and supporting a policeman in Udon Thani...She has a European boyfriend who is sending her 10,000 baht every month. She has bought a new car...how she financed it, I have no idea.. She called my wife to tell her and to make sure that I did not mention it to her fiancee because she is going to tell him that she rented the car for the wedding and get him to give her 1,500 baht daily for the rental.

The European boyfriend is coming in January for a two week visit..She is meeting him in BKK.

Bottom Line..This lady is a total schemer and is out to get everything she can. I have felt several times that I should email the American and tell him to go away, but my wife says that she has him so wrapped up that he will never believe me..

So maybe by posting this story here, he might see it and think that we may be talking about him and start asking questions.

I really do not mind Thai ladies getting money from as many farangs as they can, but when it escalates to marriage, I think this has stepped over the line..

What should I do??

Stoneman

Stay out of it,it is none of your business!!!

It is a lose lose situation.Especially since she is supporting and familiar with police!

This goes on all over the country everyday,you can not save the guys from their education and they don't listen well!You could get yourself and your family in serious trouble with Thais benefitting from this situation!
If I were you,I would have a discussion with the wife and the ''lady'',let the schemer know that you are not going to tell anything ,but you want her out of your families life!

In terms of answering your question, as you don't know him (well), I would tend to do nothing more than what you have done - post the story, as you know it, on a Forum like this one, and perhaps Thai Visa, with a few facts that he might recognise (if he saw it), but without any names or personal details. In that way, maybe you have gone some way to appeasing your conscience and drawing people's attention to what goes on.

Otherwise, unless you know him personally and are able to share confidences with each other, I would as Stan says, leave well alone. It's likely to be a "lose-lose" situation and if the Thai people got to know that you had told him could be dangerous.

I always worry when I hear of people conducting these sorts of "long distance relationships". To me there is a much greater likelihood of abuse, than when two people are living together, and I feel they should be aware of the much greater potential for abuse/being taken advantage of.

He's not really your mate as reading your post i get the impression you met him once, she is not really your wifes close friend, so best leave her to the game, no doubt it will come to the surface one day so when the Kee hits the pad-lom stand back in the safety zone in the fact that it was not your doing and you had no evolvement(apart from telling us here), best keep a distance from her if possible, good thing to post as if someone in a similar situation is reading they may get some answers/advice, and its a warning to others to be street wise to this type of thing/girl, and who knows the american and euro BF might have a girl in every port too.

I think to some Thai women this is all one big game. Juggle a few guys that are dumb enough to send cash every month. It must be like an addiction, find another guy, if he is resident here that is not good enough, if he is here for vacation good, screw him and squeeze him for a few thousand Baht every month. He is just one of thousands... Hard to swallow I know but it's just the way it is.

Its a shame some Thai in authority does'nt do something about a law to protect people against this kind of scam. In the Western World if you were caught doing this kind of crap you would do time. In Thailand the falang is always wrong, in the west the wrong do'er is wrong reghardless of Nationality. It seems to me that all Thai's are willing to be Whores, including the Cops and that to me shows a culture in decline. If a couple of these Clowns were convicted and made example of, and the media were alowed a field day on the subject, maybe just maybe some of this scum would think twice. I know these forums are monitored by Thai's and it must be obvious even to blind Freddy that the reputation of Thailand is at stake here, so why is nothing ever done. If you are a Thai and you are reading this Forum, in the name of decency stand up and complain to your Government that Forieners are not given Justice in this poor excuse for a Democracy. The Lord Hath spoken.

WOW

I think I know this women, yes stay out of it, if only for your own safety, Aardvark, how can you legislate against this, educate maybe, just my opinion

Can I just say this forum is making me much easier in my mind about my own relationship, i send my wife 7000 baht a month, , never paid any dowry/whatever that word is you used ( stoneman ), my wife told me not necessary as she married before and family knew I had no money.

I have suspected and seen many things in Thailand along this theme, men with Thai ladys who would tell me and any one interested or otherwise that there girls never work bars and go with man for money for example, when I knew personally that they had and did, women who had brothers who I knew were there husbands, right down to the old favorite the sick family member water buffolo etc. Its just the way it is and its not only in Thailand you know happens everywhere even in the UK, how many men do you know who have two or three girls on the " go " for instance

As to the boyfriend who sends a reguler sum and expects her to be waiting when he comes thats worthy of a whole new post, just to say that my wife, and her friends think it is wrong and stupid to finish such realationships, the arguments I have had over this

Its almost like the retired builder who really wants to stop work but still takes jobs from old good customers as he feels obliged to them for years of faithful custom or maybe thats too simplistic.

Stay out of it its not worth getting involved and also what is she doing thats so wrong, from her point of view she as her number 1 priority husband children maybe? dispicable or admirable , I still trying to figure that one out, another 1000 years and i may start getting close

On a related side note, heaven knows what the amount of money being regularly remitted (sent) to Thailand (from abroad) must amount to!!

I would think the figures are huge and probably significantly contribute to the strength of the baht and the balance of payments figures in Thailand. I hesitate to think (and dream) what would happen if they all suddenly stopped!!

I wonder if the Thai government gives thought to this, when giving farangs the run around. They really should be treating us all with the greatest respect!

Well, put yourself in his shoes. Wouldn't you like to know? If there is any way (without compromising yourself) you can let him know about the facts he should know prior to his marriage, then you should do it. Then it's up to him.

You know, Stoneman, I would try to find a way of alerting the victim without implicating my wife.

Many years ago, I was in the same position as the victim. If somebody had come forward, I would have dropped her long before I did (in the end, somebody did, but it was a year later than I would have preferred. If it had been earlier, it would have saved me nearly a million Baht and a lot of emotional pain.)

As lynxlynx said, "...put yourself in his shoes.." I think you must have already have done so, or you would not have made this post.

Here is an idea - give me his contact info and I will tell him myself.

go ahead and tell him,,,,then keep us all updated....ah...it....could be a learning Experience for the rest of us, it wouldnt just be about the Carnage from the outcome that would be Entertaining
or maybe it would

Interesting story. Glad it's not me. But I've had one spring the "sick father' story on me and needing 30,000 baht. I pretty much knew immediately what was going on thanks to forums like this one ...

I want to graduate from Water Buffalo University, but I want an MA or PhD.

Where is Fireman Bob when ya need him?