westerby wrote:beer monkey wrote:all sounds spooky....
Not spooky, I'm intrigued. I take it Ami was your TGF, where is she now, Ceco?
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Well, a few days ago, I was told by her mom that she was in BKK. But then another American friend here had his wife call her mom in Ban Sao Dang, which is a village very far from a Road, deep in the mountains on the border, and her mom defnitively said that Ami was there.
A woman here in Pai, who is Lisu, whom I have done a lot for (monetarily), and who should be my friend, said Ami was in Chiang Mai.
Now, in BKK, her mom is actually a mamason and working woman I am told. Young Lisu women are routed to a Thai seaman place where they relieve stress for the customers.
In Chiang Mai, young Lisu women are routinely taken to a place called OT Massage.
My problem was that I fell in love with the woman. But she routinely associated with some bad Lisu (which seems to be most). But, since they were her family, there wasn't much I could do, so 3 times I told her to spend the night at her aunts, but each time, the aunt said I was no good sent her to Ban Sao Dang.
Also, her mom said when were dating that she wanted me to buy her a ring, so I did. She chose one at 2500 baht, but when we got it back to the Lisu Groupies in a home living area, they complained and said it was too small and brought out samples of bigger rings. So we went back and bought one for 6,000 baht. After the last time Ami came back (second time I told her to spend a night with her relatives, and she went to the mountain for a month!), Ami did not have the ring, and upon inquiry, it was a) used to pay for a hospital for her aunt who has a free hospital card; b)taken by a woman relative who sits on the street and solicits; c) taken for safe keeping by her her mom's older sister. Then she went to sit with woman (b), and the police stopped my and told me to get her away from that woman as she was soliciting on the street. When I went there, the woman was beligerant and told me that Ami sold the ring to buy rice, but I had given Ami a brand new cell phone, and she had 4,000 baht in the bank plus about 1,000 baht in her pocket when she left. And, she went to Ban Sao Dang (not even on a map, u need a military map to find this place, it far above Wanchan). I went and got the few clothes she had brought to my home and gave them to her. The next morning I went to speak to her privately, but she had gone to a house with a relative whom I believe to be something like a talhatta or co-ordinator or middlewoman or something of this nature as many men meet women through her for a fee or contribution to her meditating garu husband or directly to the woman or her kids.
Now in this area, homes burn down etc when the Lisu are unhappy, or so goes the folklore.
The Thais call them "The Wild Ones."
Now, I fell in love with this woman, and I really don't want to even THINK of the possibility (probability) that she is being sent to work in "OT Massage" in Chiang Mai. But all of the advice that I recieved was that I needed to remove her from this area, and the other Lisu influences. Actually, she wanted to move but I was also told her mom would come and help 9 months ago with procuring proper ID, but her mom did not come and I asked her many times. I can't travel with her or relocate her from this Thai Yai area without ID, so my hands are tied. My plan was to marry her after her birthday in December when her mom will come back here for Lisu New Year (which corresponds with Chinese New Year).
But now, I guess all of that is gone. The cheapest clothes you can find for a lisu are B320 for pants, B650 for shirt, B 100 for belt. That means that when I bought her clothes, etc it is expensive. She didn't like to work, or clean or cook, so we ate out every meal, which is okay, except we didn't eat the 25 baht rice, but the 400+ baht foreign restaurants, so when I explained our budget problem, nobody understood, and when WAMU (my bank) went belly up, I didn't know what to do as it takes up to 2 months to redirect deposits from WAMU to my other bank, and I was very worried and trying to live off of my Thai emergency savings accounts, some of which are in time deposits. But, alas, she would go to my wallet when ever i wasn't looking and decide I had too many of certain bills and just take 1/2 of them, plus the money I would give her, and put in her account. This was okay, I learned eventually to just have less money in my wallet, but the other lisu would call and ask us to buy something when we went shopping and they'd never pay for what they ordered, or ask us to bring them food from dinner, etc. It wasn't just the money I gave her, plus the money she took from my wallet, plus everything I bought her, plus everything I bought for the home, plus the budget that was exhausted each month, but the lisu around her never taught her to show an ounce of appreciation. When our relationship began last January, she was appreciative, sweet and loving, but after she went "to the mountain" after I asked her to spend a night with her relatives, she changed.
The aunt I had sent her to stay with indicated she had ID, and her mom was bringing it for lisu new year, just be patient. i was worried about having her with me without ID. So eventually this aunt, from whom I rented a house, stole the deposit her american husband signed for (guaranteed), plus some other money from me, and then told Ami she couldn't stay at her house and never come back from Pai. I had met Ami when I had a serious motorcycle accident and they brought her from the mountain to help me when I couldn't move and have been waiting for her to get ID and everything so we could get married as I fell in love with her.
But alas, now I am just "in love" with a woman who has been programmed to think I am cheap, unstable, unloving, and disingenuous. But I am very much in love, I just don't know how to navigate through and around all of the lies.
I think it's over now, she and her mom won't talk to me. They said she won't come back to Pai. I did go to the mountain to talk to her and she wouldn't talk to me (for long). So, now I am looking for a new girl friend (with ID this time). I don't like the prostitute type of girl, not at all!
They would mimmick to her, "he's mydee," "he's keneo," "he doesn't give you enough money," and all this negativity just got to be too much. I love the girl, but all the Lisu around her, are basically corrupt. After their past of marketing opium, they now look for other easy ways to make a good living, and attempt to market their daughters.
I have spent a lot of time in these villages, even the remote "poverty areas," and these people are not poor! They choose to live away from "civilization." But, they all have solar panels, battery back ups systems, and satellite dishes, cell phones, and even experimental gardens above their mountain townships with heliports. Electricity is "on the way," and we can see the roads being built into the villages by massive road cutting machinery.
Then I hired a car to take me to Sao Dang