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Post by jackspratt » October 26, 2011, 8:17 pm

I suspect this thread is inevitably headed towards another OP-requested closure.

If that happens, I for one hope that Lee leaves it that way - unless of course the OP wishes to post the court transcripts of his legal travails. =D>



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Post by jai yen yen » October 27, 2011, 3:47 am

Any man that would stay with a woman who threatened the life of his daughter is a total loser, not only did he stay with her but he married and had another child then brought her to his country to live happily ever after. Wow. Now he is crying the blues because she left him. If this lady is as bad as he says and I have my doubts on that score benzona is a real piece of work and i feel very sorry for his children and anyone involved with him.

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Post by maaka » October 27, 2011, 4:15 am

well I hope the thread stays open.
I am not interested in the snarling that goes on between members, but the legal issues of child custody of a dual citizenship baby, born in Thailand, to a thai mother, now separated in Australia, gives me interest as to how the Court will handle the matter.
Sec 60cc Family Law Act states that the Court must have regard to matters like Grandparents involvement in the childs upbringing, and also must consider cultural matters..What if the mother argued her case along the lines, ( not that she has to0, as the court must consider it anyway ) that her child was born in thailand, her parents want to have involvement in the childs upbringing, and she wants him to grow up within his Thai culture, then the issue of International relocation rears its ugly head..would the court let her take the baby back home for short periods, would they say NO, which would then force the mother to live forever in Australia so the child can be near the father.......

there is much to this case that interests me in a legal custody, dual citizenship sense, and perhaps members who are married to a thai wife, and have a child in that marriage, and the marriage is looking shakey, then maybe there are tit bits of info from this thread, and from this Court decision if and when it is forthcoming that may assist others.. . Sure I have heard only one side, and have no evidence, but I am willing to sit it out, in the hope that Benzona will share the final result with us, so that may then assist any other people who might find themselves in a divorce /custody battle

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Post by Bandung_Dero » October 27, 2011, 10:19 am

Barstool wrote:
merchant seaman wrote:I'm a bit confused. What charges were filed for this to go to court? And what was the courts outcome? In other words was there a winner and loser?
Quite, Merchant Seaman. But there again, having used his wife as nothing more than a foetal incubator and then discovering she has a heart and soul, I should think the OP is pretty confused as well
The way I read it this is the first step in an ongoing saga.
As predicted, the truth prevailed and the DVO thingy was (after a scathing attack by the judge on her) dropped by her lawyer mid hearing.
The OP ‘appears’ to have had the ‘Domestic Violence Order’, initiated by his wife, lifted and the way I read it that was all this court hearing was all about. He has now been granted visiting rights to his son, we don’t actually know what the judges comments were BUT “scathing attack” seems very far fetched, surely the judge would not put himself in contempt of his own court!

The OP is saying that was the half way point, I have no idea what was officially resolved during the 2nd half.
Sent from my 1977 Apple II using 2 Heinz bake bean cans and piano wire!

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Post by old-timer » October 27, 2011, 12:38 pm

Bandung_Dero wrote:The OP ‘appears’ to have had the ‘Domestic Violence Order’, initiated by his wife, lifted and the way I read it that was all this court hearing was all about. .
Same here. I think benzona must have been slapping her about and she picked up the child and ran off. As for her slapping him about, well in OT's opinion he probably deserved it. My wife has thumped me many times as well as launched the contents of the kitchen at me when she's angry. I think Thai women have a long fuse but when it goes off if brings the house down then it's followed by three days of silence. My wife thinks it's punishment, OT thinks it's bliss.

OT............ \:D/

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Post by BenZona » October 27, 2011, 2:44 pm

old-timer wrote:
Bandung_Dero wrote:The OP ‘appears’ to have had the ‘Domestic Violence Order’, initiated by his wife, lifted and the way I read it that was all this court hearing was all about. .
Same here. I think benzona must have been slapping her about and she picked up the child and ran off. As for her slapping him about, well in OT's opinion he probably deserved it. My wife has thumped me many times as well as launched the contents of the kitchen at me when she's angry. I think Thai women have a long fuse but when it goes off if brings the house down then it's followed by three days of silence. My wife thinks it's punishment, OT thinks it's bliss.

OT............ \:D/
You see, its total bollocks like this written for the amusement of other octagenerians that really make this forum a fun place to be, Id say you were talking out of your backside OT, but that would actually be an insult to farts...

(comment edited by moderator)

and to cap it all, from the confines of your zimmerframe you seem to be proud of the fact that you let another human be violent to you.... what else do you put up with for love OT??? financial abuse? other boyfriends? tell me more

pathetic old man

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Post by BenZona » October 27, 2011, 5:11 pm

maaka wrote: well I hope the thread stays open.
Im sure it will Makka, a few coffin pushing old men thinking they know more than the courts (Tuesday) wont change that. Im astounded by the total jerk offs flaming on here.

maaka wrote: Sec 60cc Family Law Act states that the Court must have regard to matters like Grandparents involvement in the childs upbringing, and also must consider cultural matters..What if the mother argued her case along the lines, ( not that she has to0, as the court must consider it anyway ) that her child was born in thailand, her parents want to have involvement in the childs upbringing, and she wants him to grow up within his Thai culture, then the issue of International relocation rears its ugly head..
Its NOT a relocation case, surprisingly so as well, well i suppose surprisingly before i knew she was a scammer. She is saying she plans to stay here.

The grandparents stuff is a non argument. I could say the same about my family in the UK, but it would be laughed at at a hearing, especially given what she has admitted to on Tuesday, anything she says now is going to be treated as a lie because she has admitted a major lie that most people would not even dare to talk of as a plan, let alone in court under oath.
maaka wrote: would the court let her take the baby back home for short periods, would they say NO, which would then force the mother to live forever in Australia so the child can be near the father
Courts cannot tell an adult where to live and what to do, they can however restrict the movements of children, especially when it is found that one parent has done things that show the court they are not putting the interests of a child first, like faking a relationship for two years and having a baby to get a visa ;-) and even more especially to countries that are not full signatories of the Hague convention.

there is much to this case that interests me in a legal custody, dual citizenship sense, and perhaps members who are married to a thai wife, and have a child in that marriage, and the marriage is looking shakey, then maybe there are tit bits of info from this thread, and from this Court decision if and when it is forthcoming that may assist others.. .
maaka wrote: Sure I have heard only one side, and have no evidence, but I am willing to sit it out, in the hope that Benzona will share the final result with us, so that may then assist any other people who might find themselves in a divorce /custody battle
Ill try to not get banned by lambasting old men with stupid assumptions and keep those who want to know informed. As for evidence, well that's for the courts, on here its only a relay of what has happened, only a moron (im looking at YOU flamers) would even attempt to make things up like i have been accused of this week.

but we all know what intelligent people think about accusations without evidence don't we... LIES... oops, there i go talking about Tuesday again.

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Post by ronan01 » October 27, 2011, 5:16 pm

I percieve a man who is going through a relationship breakdown and faces the prospect of not seeing his child (perhaps forever?).

He is obviously very hurt, bordering on distraught, and some of his comments / actions may be a bit over the top (thats what happens when people are in that situation).

Maybe he should not have posted here and maybe he should use more moderate language when describing his wife.

And perhaps it is OK for other forum posters to point out that he is being a bit excessive.

But I feel a number of the "old hands" on this site are taking things a bit far and are going out of their way to antagonise a wounded being. I think these people - particualrly Jackpratt, and Dero - should take a step back and be a bit more moderate.

It is becoming obvious your only intent is to further goad this person into even worse behaviour. You remind me of the type of children you enjoy pulling off the wings of a fly and who gain satisfaction watching it suffer.

If you your bored and need some entertainment - go and catch some flys. And leave Benzona be (even if some of his staements are intemperate) to calm down and eventually see things clearly.

Relationship breakdowns are traumatic at the best of time, especially if there are children involved. Benzona is suffering, and it is not up to us to decide if he deserves it or not (none of us know the full story).

There is some real nastiness dripping from the fingers of some posters. Poor form - go hang your heads in shame.

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Post by BenZona » October 27, 2011, 5:52 pm

ronan01 wrote: I percieve a man who is going through a relationship breakdown and faces the prospect of not seeing his child (perhaps forever?).

He is obviously very hurt, bordering on distraught, and some of his comments / actions may be a bit over the top (thats what happens when people are in that situation).
TY, im not distraught though, i was at the beginning, now im just disgusted.
ronan01 wrote: maybe he should use more moderate language when describing his wife.
Trust me, it is...
ronan01 wrote: And perhaps it is OK for other forum posters to point out that he is being a bit excessive.
Like the guy with the naked girls ass as an avatar??? I guess he is fully Qualified to talk about derogatory things happening toward wimmen.....
ronan01 wrote: But I feel a number of the "old hands" on this site are taking things a bit far and are going out of their way to antagonise a wounded being. I think these people - particualrly Jackpratt, and Dero - should take a step back and be a bit more moderate.

It is becoming obvious your only intent is to further goad this person into even worse behaviour. You remind me of the type of children you enjoy pulling off the wings of a fly and who gain satisfaction watching it suffer.
and i expected nothing less of them. i have to say, in jacks defence he has actually been quite mild and not his usual smart ass self.. thanks Jack =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> , as for the others, This is Udon Map, it is to be expected that pensioners flame as sure as they hang out ad Mojos with dyed hair and a comb over.
ronan01 wrote: If you your bored and need some entertainment - go and catch some flys. And leave Benzona be (even if some of his staements are intemperate) to calm down and eventually see things clearly.
Of course they are bored, you only have to see them wandering around Udon in real life to realize that, but i can handle them, they are idiots, and idiots are just tools of amusement
ronan01 wrote: Relationship breakdowns are traumatic at the best of time, especially if there are children involved. Benzona is suffering, and it is not up to us to decide if he deserves it or not (none of us know the full story).
Even i don't know the full story hey? Its developing as the truth comes out
ronan01 wrote: There is some real nastiness dripping from the fingers of some posters. Poor form - go hang your heads in shame.
like i said, to be expected, there are some real morons out there that don't have a collective brain cell left due to alcohol abuse and too many one night stands with girls they think love them. I fully knew the regular schoolboys would be in on my comments, they are very predictable, you only have to search their posts to see that, but i can handle them. Idiots will always be idiots long after the hooker has left the room
Thanks for your words of support (if support is the right word)
;-)

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Post by merchant seaman » October 27, 2011, 6:34 pm

BORED?? Ben Zona is the one who must be bored or is he just in need of attention. Posting everything here on a forum in Udon Thani. Should be consulting with friends in Oz. Or most likely they have given up on him so he has only here to rant about his misfortune and screw ups. If it's sympathy he is looking for I don't think he is going to find it here. just keep it coming great read and still looking forward to the movie.
No man has a good enough memory to be a succesful liar.

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Post by BenZona » October 27, 2011, 7:24 pm

merchant seaman wrote:BORED?? Ben Zona is the one who must be bored or is he just in need of attention. Posting everything here on a forum in Udon Thani. Should be consulting with friends in Oz. Or most likely they have given up on him so he has only here to rant about his misfortune and screw ups. If it's sympathy he is looking for I don't think he is going to find it here. just keep it coming great read and still looking forward to the movie.
I've been having a look through your posts on this forum Mr Seaman and you are actually, well not thick, id say its more a combination of thick and a little slow . You do not seem to have much of a grasp of reality. It only to be expected
I know that to be a merchant seaman you sort of have to be a bit of an outcast of society, all that alone time with other men cooped up downstairs (if you know what i mean)is certain to send you a bit batty, if not well greased up on your designated night at the "hole"

Is it like the army on a ship, where they welcome misfits and societies dregs?

enlighten me o learned one

you run a close second to barstool for the title of idiot of the thread.. keep it up, might make first place, and you can whack yr pony at night meetings as you are high fiveing barstool on a close run contest

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Post by Barstool » October 27, 2011, 9:43 pm

BenZona wrote: .....alcohol abuse and too many one night stands with girls they think love them.
Yes; well I think "Pot calling the Kettle black" is the phrase that springs to mind.

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Post by Manadon » October 27, 2011, 11:19 pm

Ben Zonna, why do you whip these boys? They don;t care. They are locked into their "mind sets" and no one can set them free.When you push them, they will go further into their extremes. Let them go.......keep your door open, if they need and want help, they will come to you.
Some of us here have open minds and hearts, we want to and hope to help you. Please let us help. We are all in the same boat, please don't rock it.

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Post by Frankie 1 » October 27, 2011, 11:31 pm

merchant seaman wrote:...or is he just in need of attention.
So, let's just stop feeding this Troll.

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Post by old-timer » October 27, 2011, 11:40 pm

BenZona wrote: what else do you put up with for love OT??? financial abuse? other boyfriends? tell me more

pathetic old man
It depends on who and how fit she is. If it's a well fit bird I'll put up with anything. When it comes to my wife I'll let her do anything she wants. I trust her. I don't spend as much time with her as I used to but I doubt she gets up to much mischief. She would never take the kids and leave me like your Thai bird has especially when she's been with me in the UK. Probably because I don't abuse her and have always taken care of things.

OT................. \:D/

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Post by ronan01 » October 27, 2011, 11:42 pm

Moderator Note: comment removed, forum rules

Benzona: Focus on on what matters. Dont allow yourself to be wound up. Engaging in tit for tat comment on this forum will not ease your pain, nor bring you closer to a solution to your problem.

Your problem has no immediate resolution - you are now engaged in a legal process. This process will unfold and "right" and " wrong" will will play little part. It will take time.

I think there is no chance your relationship can be fixed - I think it has gone beyond that. This is not a competition - there is no winner or loser - just the sad realisation that what you thought you you had is gone.

I am not having a go at you you. I have been where you are- it hurts. I think most men our age have been there.

Try not to "win" this issue - you may "win", but it not be much of a victory.

If you cannot reconcile, then i think the next best thing you can do is consider the best outcome is for your child.

Australian courts will always consider the interest of the child - because (i think) they understand that in these situations the parents are not always thinking clearly - they are full of emotion, and emotion is not always rational.

Eventually you will have to reach and "agreement" with your wife - either you will both agree to this, or the court will impose an "agreement".

In between you will both spend a lot of time, energy and emotion on this.

They say "time heals all". In time you will feel better. In between there will be pain. Accept this.

Try not to denigrate your wife - even if you believe she deserves it. It will affect your relationship with your child.

I understand your need an outlet for your feelings - and you must accept that your feelings are at an elevated level now. For that reason it is not a good idea to pour your feelings ou on this forum.

Seeking advice from those who have had a similar experience is a good idea - but I think this will not happpen on an open forum. Maybe better for you to engage in some private emails with those you can offer sound advice.

Focus on access to your child - if your wife ends up staying in Oz, so be it, let her.

Dont allow this forum to fuel your anger - eventually you will have to let that go.

THere is no easy way out of this - make it as painless as possible.

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Post by BenZona » October 28, 2011, 4:47 am

old-timer wrote: Probably because I don't abuse her and have always taken care of things.

OT................. \:D/
i bet you have.... a bank account is not love, nor is a pensioner buying viagra from the chemist near the bus station
BOTH ARE ILLUSIONS

isnt it time for your bed bath?

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Post by Barstool » October 28, 2011, 5:13 am

BenZona wrote:
old-timer wrote: Probably because I don't abuse her and have always taken care of things.

OT................. \:D/
i bet you have.... a bank account is not love, nor is a pensioner buying viagra from the chemist near the bus station
BOTH ARE ILLUSIONS

isnt it time for your bed bath?
Not the case. Both OT and myself are of the ilk that still go away to work on a rotational basis and return to LOS to care for our families.
Trouble is BZ, you haven't done yourself any favours by turning a sympathy quest into a self-loathing, misogynist rant with little, if any, credibility, and peppered with hatred and vilification. Only yourself to blame.
I would never post on a forum with your mournful rhetoric, and as I mentioned before, this thread of yours is tooo similar to that of the misogynist who lived near Phen 3 or so years ago, whose philandering caught up with him and then tried his best to seek sympathy with UM members with complete lies and fabrication, and then followed with a series of, still, unpaid debts.
Right; I'm off to sweep the leaves in my garden, go for a run and then take the children to school, enjoy the sunny Isaan day and spare a thought for the folk with real problems at the moment, that is the flood victims in the country of my residence.

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Post by old-timer » October 28, 2011, 12:50 pm

BenZona wrote: i bet you have.... a bank account is not love, nor is a pensioner buying viagra from the chemist near the bus station
BOTH ARE ILLUSIONS

isnt it time for your bed bath?
An empty Bank account doesn't do you any favours on the romantic side of things as you have found out. As for Viagra, OT started a thread which will explain my antics with that little wonder pill:
http://www.udonmap.com/udonthaniforum/v ... 17154.html


I had a bed bath at Patpong BKK once, very enjoyable it was too.

OT............--------............ \:D/

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Post by BenZona » October 28, 2011, 7:15 pm

Manadon wrote:Ben Zonna, why do you whip these boys? They don;t care. They are locked into their "mind sets" and no one can set them free.When you push them, they will go further into their extremes. Let them go.......keep your door open, if they need and want help, they will come to you.
Some of us here have open minds and hearts, we want to and hope to help you. Please let us help. We are all in the same boat, please don't rock it.
I hear what you are saying, but they are just so easy to manipulate. Ill try to ignore them from now on. I agree with you about the mindset, its quite sad, you see it even when you notice them walking around in Udon. I have good friends that would not be seen within 300m of some of the chumps you talk about.


(Comment removed by moderator)
ronan01 wrote:
Your problem has no immediate resolution - you are now engaged in a legal process. This process will unfold and "right" and " wrong" will will play little part. It will take time.
And i will be patient, as hard as it is, the truth is already coming out.
ronan01 wrote: I think there is no chance your relationship can be fixed - I think it has gone beyond that. This is not a competition - there is no winner or loser - just the sad realisation that what you thought you you had is gone.
Don't get me wrong, there is no chance of us getting back together at all. I accept that and i want it. She lost me the night she forced us to leave the village under threat of death in May when the baby was only 5 days old. Im glad she has gone, this is not about me and her, its about the baby, and what is best for him.

Im a tad gutted that all my plans of the past 2.5 years have done down the visa fraud drainpipe but, life goes on
ronan01 wrote: I am not having a go at you you. I have been where you are- it hurts. I think most men our age have been there.
you dont seem like your having a go at all ;-)
ronan01 wrote: Try not to "win" this issue - you may "win", but it not be much of a victory.
If you cannot reconcile, then i think the next best thing you can do is consider the best outcome is for your child.
What is best for him is what this is all about, but unfortunately you do have to "win" in order to get what you think is best for a child in these situations, I was not "boasting" about a win on Tuesday, more relaying the shock of seeing and hearing what i did see and hear.
ronan01 wrote: Australian courts will always consider the interest of the child - because (i think) they understand that in these situations the parents are not always thinking clearly - they are full of emotion, and emotion is not always rational.
Honestly, on that front im having faith in the fact that the court will see her emotions as nothing more than manipulation, lies and fraud, that's what happened on Tuesday, in an astonishing way, how could a judge, who is a lot smarter than you or me, ever trust her in any kind of relationship situation when it comes to me, or my son? I think its pretty much impossible after Tuesdays words
ronan01 wrote: Try not to denigrate your wife - even if you believe she deserves it. It will affect your relationship with your child.
I think ive kept a lid on it fairly well. especially considering what i now know. She is the lowest kind of Human there is, i cant pretend
ronan01 wrote: I understand your need an outlet for your feelings - and you must accept that your feelings are at an elevated level now. For that reason it is not a good idea to pour your feelings ou on this forum. Seeking advice from those who have had a similar experience is a good idea - but I think this will not happpen on an open forum. Maybe better for you to engage in some private emails with those you can offer sound advice.
I do get good advice. I know some very knowledgeable people in relation to family law matters and they keep me on the straight and narrow. This forum means nothing in the real world, Apart from the odd rant on here im actually very calm, because i have to be.
ronan01 wrote: Focus on access to your child - if your wife ends up staying in Oz, so be it, let her.
Dont allow this forum to fuel your anger - eventually you will have to let that go.
THere is no easy way out of this - make it as painless as possible.
I could not care less where she stays, how she lives or who she lives with. My son and my daughter are #1

Thanks for posting guys, Im guessing you are under 75 years of age ;-)

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