You really cant tell can you? (Wife leaves me)

Well my lovely thai partner of two and a quarter years, my wife of one year, mother of my three month old son has decided, six and a half weeks after returning to Australia with me for the third time, this time on a 309 resident visa, gained on the 30th June that she will up and go in the middle of the night, tell people i have done (well i dont know what yet) and manage to get shelter accommodation and state benefits, all in the space of three days

She snuck out of the house with my son in the middle of the night. I have not seen him for five days, The police know she is safe but dont know where she is.I don't know where she is, I have had my son placed on the airport watch list and the earliest court date i can get is OCTOBER the bloody 10th. The Police are being OK, but there is really nothing they can do without a court order

To the few of you who know me in real life... can u believe it!!!! (Skype me Mr Moto)

This has all come as a shock, it is still unfolding, it LOOKS like a classic text book visa fraud thing. Would Thai girls really go as far as this to get a passport?

this is not a wind up

i know 2 that did the same thing in uk and they had good husbands/

I've heard of stranger things happening.Thailand isn't sophisticated in so many ways.You might not ever see her again.
You might need to go to plan "B".

Unfortunatly they can go far beyond that, I have many real stories. on other hand their is a very good Thai wives stood beside thier husband after tough life.

Just give it a moment, why would young girl marry some one doesnt speak her language share same values and believes and may be double of her age

You mights say, to take care of her family, to get better life, to find some one can take care of her. well is this a Love ?

If she was not a bargirl before and had a decent job and came from a good family than the odds are things would have been fine as long as you and she were happy with each other. Usually the scammers are from questionable backgrounds.

sorry to hear the bad news mate..my farang girlfriend ran off with a guy in a band 27yrs ago, and took my 18 month old son. I came home from work to find a note on the kitchen table, so I can understand somewhat how you feel..back then the justice system was stacked against fathers, but today things are alittle better..surely you can get an emergency court appearance, she has kidnapped your baby..try another lawyer, and get these solo Father groups involved..that might push things along, but it will also give you some much needed friends who have been thru such things before..

your wife must have a contact, some thai friends in your city, or another, that she may have run too. I doubt she has gone it alone.maybe off to a friend who already has kids..Thais dont generally relocate well, as say compared to Philippine women, and if she is into her Buddhist faith she will be looking for a temple somewheres to make sure the spirits are alll in on this, so to speak..she will be with her own kind, thats my guess..if you remeber her ever talking about her friend also marrying a farang in your neck of the woods I would start looking there..get her and the babies picture out to the local thai community, on the internet, and stirr up the legals re kidnapping. .she has to tap into the system somewhere, dole, doctor for baby, calls home, etc etc.. where are you located in Oz?

BenZona wrote:Well my lovely thai partner of two and a quarter years, my wife of one year, mother of my three month old son has decided, six and a half weeks after returning to Australia with me for the third time, this time on a 309 resident visa, gained on the 30th June that she will up and go in the middle of the night, tell people i have done (well i dont know what yet) and manage to get shelter accommodation and state benefits, all in the space of three days

She snuck out of the house with my son in the middle of the night. I have not seen him for five days, The police know she is safe but dont know where she is.I don't know where she is, I have had my son placed on the airport watch list and the earliest court date i can get is OCTOBER the bloody 10th. The Police are being OK, but there is really nothing they can do without a court order

To the few of you who know me in real life... can u believe it!!!! (Skype me Mr Moto)

This has all come as a shock, it is still unfolding, it LOOKS like a classic text book visa fraud thing. Would Thai girls really go as far as this to get a passport?

this is not a wind up

was there something that happened that brought this on,if so you might have a chance to reconcile,if not take the advice of maaka,
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/www/home/#photo03
http://www.mensrights.com.au/Fathers_Ri ... nists.aspx
http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/

BenZona wrote:Well my lovely thai partner of two and a quarter years, my wife of one year, mother of my three month old son has decided, six and a half weeks after returning to Australia with me for the third time, this time on a 309 resident visa, gained on the 30th June that she will up and go in the middle of the night, tell people i have done (well i dont know what yet) and manage to get shelter accommodation and state benefits, all in the space of three days

She snuck out of the house with my son in the middle of the night. I have not seen him for five days, The police know she is safe but dont know where she is.I don't know where she is, I have had my son placed on the airport watch list and the earliest court date i can get is OCTOBER the bloody 10th. The Police are being OK, but there is really nothing they can do without a court order

To the few of you who know me in real life... can u believe it!!!! (Skype me Mr Moto)

This has all come as a shock, it is still unfolding, it LOOKS like a classic text book visa fraud thing. Would Thai girls really go as far as this to get a passport?

this is not a wind up

What a nightmare. OT has heard of Thai wives doing a runner in Thailand, or kicking the falang out of the Thai house he paid for as well as keeping everything else he bought, but this is the first time I've heard of something like this. I mean, I can understand relationships going pear-shaped and people go their separate ways however this was a cunning well thought out plan.
I thought Thai women actually prefer to live in Thailand with their family and friends regardless of the social security they can get abroad.

OT...............

As the title say's "You really can't tell, can you" Now I am not saying the following applies to this story, but we have only heard one side. Let me tell you a recent incident that happened locally. The BIB asked me to help with a farang who was reporting a similar incident but they couldn't understand him .Obviously distressed and incoherent but eventually got to understand him. He had just returned home and found his wife and kid gone . Now being a village it didn't take long to locate her. Her story however was that he often went out drinking and returned home and was violent to her and the kid .She was scared to try and leave while he was there, so waited till he was out before going .There were several witnesses to her story and his appearance at the time seemed to indicate it was true .He had no idea that his behaviour was forcing her to think of leaving him and was totally surprised. It is very unusual for a mother of a young child to take such a drastic step. So without knowing a thing about the OP I would suggest that this isn't necessary a scam but a desperate act of self preservation on the mothers part .You really can't tell, can you?

maaka wrote:sorry to hear the bad news mate..my farang girlfriend ran off with a guy in a band 27yrs ago, and took my 18 month old son. I came home from work to find a note on the kitchen table, so I can understand somewhat how you feel..back then the justice system was stacked against fathers, but today things are alittle better..surely you can get an emergency court appearance, she has kidnapped your baby..try another lawyer, and get these solo Father groups involved..that might push things along, but it will also give you some much needed friends who have been thru such things before..

Im in Brisbane

Thanks for the replies chaps. I am still in stunned disbelief at this situation. I spoke to a DV cop today who said that not only are there no complaints against me, and that, although they are now aware of what is happening i have done nothing wrong and that they are not involved... then.. she rang me back and said she did some investigating and found that my wife had made a private application for a domestic violence order and that it was due to be in court this afternoon. She gave me a real heads up.

So i get to court, look at the documents that contains the stuff she is accusing me of, and its laughable. Vague accusations backed up by no solid timeframe. We got a hearing date for THIS pathetic attempt at a visa grab for 25th October. The thing is, i have her on VIDEO saying i had never "boxed" her AND i have it on video that where she says she remembers saying she was going to get us killed (me and my daughter) In Thailand.

Im gonna (legally) rip her a new asshole on that one

As for the family court, the EARLIEST date i could get, and believe me i tried, was 10th October

maaka wrote:Thais dont generally relocate well, as say compared to Philippine women, and if she is into her Buddhist faith she will be looking for a temple somewheres to make sure the spirits are alll in on this, so to speak..she will be with her own kind, thats my guess..

Spot on mate, she did indeed make for the wat near us, who gave her to the Thai embassy here, who sent her to a homeless woman's place. That is where she is now but, even the police do not know the address. She is now being mega coached, with her english skills she could not write one line of what i saw in court today, let alone three pages.

Oh, and hows this for the best bit... she is accusing me of not letting her have any money and controlling how much she has!!!!!! Can you f'ing believe that. This year alone, on us and the baby ive spent about 20 grand. This is almost the biggest windup of all,

I think my ONLY benefit in this situation is that i genuinely don't like her any more, I could not give a toss if she lives in a barn in the middle of the rice fields, I want no more to do with her it is over. This means im not some lovesick middle aged man with a big knot in his stomach and im slightly able to cope with this situation

I do miss my son though, Today is the sixth day i have not seen him.

I almost expected people to come in and say this was not common.. obviously i was wrong, If you add this to Arsenals humiliating, well i darent call it a game, yesterday. Im not very bloody happy at all

trubrit wrote:As the title say's "You really can't tell, can you" Now I am not saying the following applies to this story, but we have only heard one side. Let me tell you a recent incident that happened locally. The BIB asked me to help with a farang who was reporting a similar incident but they couldn't understand him .Obviously distressed and incoherent but eventually got to understand him. He had just returned home and found his wife and kid gone . Now being a village it didn't take long to locate her. Her story however was that he often went out drinking and returned home and was violent to her and the kid .She was scared to try and leave while he was there, so waited till he was out before going .There were several witnesses to her story and his appearance at the time seemed to indicate it was true .He had no idea that his behaviour was forcing her to think of leaving him and was totally surprised. It is very unusual for a mother of a young child to take such a drastic step. So without knowing a thing about the OP I would suggest that this isn't necessary a scam but a desperate act of self preservation on the mothers part .You really can't tell, can you?

And here is the thing, I have witnesses to her violence, threats and poor treatment of me, more than one person too. I can assure you, she was in no way mistreated by me, and it has been, in fact, the other way round. I dont drink alcohol ever or go out partying to get wasted.

Two or Three members on here have met me, and i have a good friend in Udon who does not post on here so im not incognito,

thanks

No you cannot tell whats what these days, and we are unlikely to hear the other side of the story , now arent we, but does that mean we should just sit on our hands. I choose to offer advice and guidance, because he and his wife will be judged by others when the time comes..

We had an female american backpacker come to our island. she wanted me to marry her so she could get residency, and being smitten with her as I was, I nearly went for it, but on second thoughts she was alittle to way out there for my liking. When a man marries a foreigner in NZ the wife must live with the husband for two years before she can apply for residency, and then it is not gauranteed..however she conned up another of my fellow islanders and married him, and within weeks had left him. He rang up NZ Immigration and stuffed up her chances of any residency....NOW I WOULD NOT COUNSEL THE OP IN SUCH A MOVE IN HIS CASE, BECAUSE IF THE WIFE GETS BABY BACK TO THAILAND THEN HE MAY NEVER GET ANY CHANCE OF CUSTODY.

I have used the above to hignlite that people do marry for residency, even those from rich countries, so I see no reason in the times we now live in, that a thai would not do so..there is much to be gained, now and well into the future by third world people gaining passports to supposedly better countries..

is your son/ daughter an Australian Citizen, or was he /she born in Thailand?

from reading your Original Post, to get social services help and for the police to know she is safe, but not know where she is, then I will assume that she has gone to one of these womens refuse centers, safe houses, and perhaps pointed the bone at you , alleging some sort of harm caused to her..this would bind the police to keeping her whereabouts confidential, until a court has decided the matter..if such a course has taken place, without the harm actually occurring, and I am only guessing, its a cunning move, well thought out, and will take some defending on your behalf even if it is all fabrication...

on the other side of the coin, if you are an abuser, then your marriage is probably heading for divorce, and gaining custody of your child that much more difficult to obtain..but not impossible..I will not judge you or her, thats for a court to decide, but you have placed a set of events before me as many do, so I have offered some guidance, just as I would offer to your wife had she sought out my advice. I MUST POINT OUT THAT IT IS MERELY ADVICE AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN AS ANY KIND OF LEGAL ADVICE..

PUTTING BABY ON THE AIRPORT WATCH LIST IS A SMART MOVE, BECAUSE YOU NEED TO TRAP YOUR WIFE IN OZ, SO AN AUSTRALIAN COURT CAN DECIDE THIS MATTER, RATHER THAN A THAI COURT..

IF you are a church going man then get them onto it, or involved. your image is going to be tested in the future ( already is being tested ) come court time. you need to think about filing for custody of your child, if you want to be part of his/her life...my son was taken off to another country and it was ten years before we were to live as father and son again, but that was because the ex married strainght away and I was single, and it was 26yrs ago when the law was one sided...

get onto those solo fathers advocacy groups...many have lost kids overseas before and triumphed...you will need help on this one..those advocacy groups will have lawyers in place, know what course of action to take, and when, and so on..

your life has been turned upsidedown, you probably have to work to continue to pay the mortage, and you are probably tired already, but you must force yourself to move now, bring in others to help, get proactive because at the end of the day it will probably come down to a court case where you will both be fighting for custody rights to the child, and in such a case image matters, your display of love for the child matters, and how far you have gone to find him/her all adds up...whatever you do, dont loose your cool..

The thing is, i have her on VIDEO saying i had never "boxed" her AND i have it on video that where she says she remembers saying she was going to get us killed (me and my daughter) In Thailand.
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why did you feel the need to have your wife, make this statement on video ,
were you anticipating, that she may make, these type of accusations against you ?.

best of luck .

So sorry to hear of the situation that you have found yourself in mate.
I met a guy in melbourne who had exactly the same thing happen to him, it almost sounds like it a step by step procedure learnt form a text book. I'm sure it's something the police have come across before and are wise to the bullshit but they have to follow procedure.
I hope you are reunited with your child soon.