Your thoughts on this stuation

Hello everyone.
I know its a well worn route of questioning but here goes. I have a freind who lives in Samui, in June i visited him there and met this totally awesome girl who comes from non sa at. SHe had only been on Samui for two days.. and was basically brought there under false promises of work, only to learn (we learnt) that she was literally going to be sold to work in a bar by some NASTY piece of work on samui.....

Anyway, we spent the month together and when it became clear to the nasty tart who offered her work that she had no intention of working in ANY bar for anyone at all and... things got a bit heavy... we left the island and spent a week up in non sa at with her family.

During the course of the month i found out that she has NEVER worked in a bar for sex, she actually makes money thai boxing and singing in clubs.... her family (who had no idea of the samui situation) were quite shocked to find out what this nasty bitch had in store for her on samui and were very happy i got her out of there....

Now, i KNOW the stories of farang men and thai girls... Ive had it drummed into me by about a hundred people whilst on Samui but.... in the same breath as saying all this, people were also telling me she seemed totally genuine in my company... and trust me, they have enough experience to make the call..... so.....after a couple of weeks.....with all the advice i got i was in the positon to tell my girl that

1: I am NOT rich
2: i am NOT in a positon to support her family
3: If we even remotly wanted to be together it would be a partnership with us both working to provide for BOTH of our families..

Rather than run away... she actually said "i do not care about money" and then went on to say that she had been single for 3 years and was actually nervous about even being with another man.....She went on to say she has never even taken a man home before.... and that she wanted me... even without money.....she then got on the phone to her parents and said "he is worried you waill all want his money" and the reply i got was "they are not like that and just want me to be happy"

ALL of this rings true in her actions, her families actions, and our time together.... She also, until i met her.. had no concept of ever leaving thailand, so i know she aint after a passport......

She bought things, shared expenses, literally refused money from me... and was simply the sweetest girlie i have ever met.....

I am coming back in four weks to spend another month with her.

I guess my question is, in a country of 65 million people there MUST be some genuine girls out there... right???
and also...

If she knows i aint got $$$ and she still wants me.... am i wrong in running with it.....????

I know no one else can make the call for me but i really want to know if there are genuine girls out there who are not money grabbing bar girls.. cos i seem to have met one!

thanks
Ash

PS... Non Sa at and the villages were an experience i will NEVER forget!!!

Welcome to the forum Ash.
I would suggest that you have nothing to lose by giving this relationship a go. Yes there are honest, decent Thai girls here, loads of them and if you think you have found one, your not putting up considerable funds and she's making you happy then go for it. You would only spend the rest of your life wondering about it if you did not.

I just thought id add there is a bit of an age difference.. but it certainly is not a massive.. in fact, almost the same as my last wife who was an Aussie... same as me.....

Ive read this forum and seen it ful lof relationship despair, but it cant all be like that can it??

oh, and thanks for the barefoot mantle... ive taken my shoes off

Welcome Goonersh

Yep, as Roy I would say give it a go. Spend this another month with her and if things still sweet, then I would say try to have her come to live with you for 3 months at your place (Australia if I am not mistaken) on a simple tourist visa. Then, after this 3 more months together, and at your place this time, you should both know better what you want from there.

Bobhelm, read carefully no... read though as best i can in a couple of days... yes.... so many threads

We had an absolutly fantastic month together... with the need for an escape from Samui... it was a bit exciting too.. This moll who was going to sell her (she really was) is still apparently getting people to ring kloi up at her parents and she is still threatning her.... not to mention she presented my mate with a "bill" for taking Kloi off the island afer we left.... Apparently this Moll had told the bar owner she had "bought" her off her family for ayear and i had to pay the bar out (the unopen bar!!!) ... but, after chatting to her mum and family.... her family know nothing about this at all....

From what i saw and heard in Samui... (my mate has lived there for 6 years) there is DEF a bit of people trade going on, (this moll stil has Klois ID card).... i have to say i met some bad people in samui... and nothing would shock me after that.....

During the whole experience i was sort of wondering why Kloi was so unfazed by it all, till i leant her grandfather is a cop in Udon Thani.. or nearby... and that once she found out what she was meant to do for work.. she had him up his belt... This person in samui was a real piece of work though... i know for sure she does nasty and violent things to people at the drop of a hat... and that is really why i got Kloi out of there....

Kloi does seem just a bit too mentally cute for her to have had anything to do with the bar scene... i am 100% certain her story of being told she will be a bar manager was true....she did not even know what the moll was talking about when she was told to get "bar fine" from me.... and the bloody bar was not even open yet!!!! I also know for sure she had only been there 2 days before i net her... it was confirmed to me by all the farang "friends" of this moll.. apparently they all offered her money to get into her pants in those two days.. and she was having none of it.

but i digress... It gives me heart to see that some of you are in long term relationships because she really is a gentle kind and loving person... and long may it continue

Denuit.... i think thats what imn going to do.. just come back and see how it goes, but if she is only half (well two thirds) as genuine as she has been so far next time... shes mine.....and im hers....

im here learning and look forwaard to more comments, and to being back up there next month....

thanks

Good on yer mate!! Good luck and like me i hope you have found a genuine thai girl, and not some little money monster!!! I suppose the real proof in the pudding would be if you asked to marry her, then the question of sin sot would "out" any other motives as it were... e.g. if suddenly the parents want a big amount then you have your answer... If like me they didnt want anything only that i pay for the party etc then you and me hopefully should be ok!!! However it doesnt mean that sin sot is only for parents of bar girls!! But it will highlight any greed involved if involved at all...
Good Luck Ash and hopefully we will hear nothing but happy stories from you on here...

Hello Ash and welcome to udon map. What ever advice you are given on here take it on-board and listen. You will not be given bull - s t just plain answears to any questions you would like to know. In your particuler problem you said the (i take it mamasan) said her parents have given permission for her to work in samui, do kloi's parents know this woman, and simply change the sim card in her phone then she won't recieve anymore phone calls, also ask her relative ie the police officer to make a call to samui at least she ( the moll ) will know the situation if she carries on threatening. Best of luck and keep us informed.

Seymour, ive only just got my head round ths sin sot thing... there is as much chance of me paying that as Tottenham winning the premiership.. IE none and not in my lifetime!!! and if it was demanded, i would beat a hasty retreat...... but having said that, if parents wanted it, and she said its ok not to do pay, i would be even happier with it

Vlad, Nah.. the parents have never spoken to this woman in samui so i know that part is for real at least... u know, i just spoke to Kloi and when i talk to her all my worries vanish...

I think if we get on when i go back ill TRY to get her a tourist visa... but that aint easy either from what ive read,

curse that Aussie government

About the Sin Sod, you should read this : http://www.udonmap.com/udonthaniforum/sin-sod-t579.html

It is a thai thing and if one day you want to marry your thai girlfriend, you should know a bit more about this tradition before you take your stand about it I think.

All the best

Denuit, it was one of the first threads i read as a guest, and i understand the tradition.... but human greed is everywhere... aim not saying i would not pay like a token, 10 or 20k bht or something like that but i simply wont pay in the realms of silly money to honour traditions...

Tilo, i dont speak Thai and her parents do not speak english.. but sometines, and when it came to this "mamasan" thing, no words were needed... Kloi told mewhat they said, and i could see their reactions to the "bar" stuff

your final sentence is the most important thing to me.. and hopefully to her
Cheerz

Knowing more about thai tradition and culture (sin sod, "face", etc) would help him to better understand his girlfriend background and values, therefore help him to make better decisions with her. Being informed doesn't stop you to be yourself... but can help to avoid some mistakes no Tilokarat ?

goonersh wrote: I am coming back in four weeks to spend another month with her.

You have answered your own question. Keep coming back again and again for a while until the initial infatuation wears off a little and you can see things without the rose tinted spectacles. I wish you every success.