She worked in the kitchen at a place called Aussie Bar (or Aussie Pub?). She had gone out with her sister to a restaurant called Arena, which is where we met. I had gone out with my friend, who was meeting her sister.

@oskar - I feel for you but I hope for that 11 1/2 years you truly had a good time despite the cheatings.....


Yeah I am also interested in Sateeb's question on how you met her and where?
'

So oskars beautiful,smart,hard working wife of many years never came out of the same
Mould,given the oppertunity most will be the same.many men kid themselves they've found 'the one' she's not like the others this ones proper.ask any farang whose had his pants pulled down if they had a proper one and they will all say yes but she turned out to be a rotten,cheating,thieving liar.if you think you e found a good in it means you Have dropped
Your guard and are likely to have your pants pulled down and sent home penniless in your flip flops n shorts.

I found a way to keep a Thai woman and keep the Thai cultural thing going.feed her up to 5 times a day and give her a damned good thrashing when I come home drunk.

I agree with Marcosteffano 100 per cent… Most women here are the same but add that most falangs that take a Thai wife are not that good with the female of the species… taking a Thai wife is the only way they get a female companion… They overlook a lot of the telltale signs that something is just not right… Thinking that after years of been overlooked by western woman they have finally have found someone who sees them for what they really are…

Regards “oskar_lanning” back in 2005 I was a permanent fixture in the Aussie bar and have to say I “put a tail on” all the staff in there, Even snogged Justin on occasion…

It comes to something that when someone posts a thread about a relationship that has stood the test of time it is looked on as a refreshing change to the usual posts about cheats. but facts are facts there are more bad relationships then good. There is a familiar saying in LOS which as we all know is " You can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl". I have many friends in Udon who despite giving their wives the life they could only dream of were left bitter after being cheated on.

Take them out of the Country and you expose them to too many temptations, all of which look better than the one you offer. Keep them in Country and your special for life. Easy ....

Have to agree with you there vlad 100% I am not sure about the ex bar girl but there is probably a good chance she was when I first met her she was forty five I thought I was safe 555 she scammed and cheated me big time as they say in the classics no good crying over spilled milk just move on and forget there is also a good chance that you know who I am talking about.

I am sure most of the negative comments are wind ups but, in case there are 1 or 2 serious but confused people here....

Newsflash - why not have a relationship with someone who hasn't worked in a bar. Incredibly, in a country of more than 30m women there are quite a few. You might actually find that you will have a relatively normal and mutually fulfilling relationship.

Incidentally, that is not to say that all ex bar staff make bad partners. That would be an equally ignorant assumption.

Hey samster like to see my bank book the new house I built and the new Toyota pick up I bought plus the debt I paid (not for the sick buffalo or mother or family) at this point of time I am out of pocket big time maybe I will recover some if the the Family Court does what it is supposed to so don't classify me in the wind up section.

I don't for a minute doubt it macca46 and you have my sympathy - it could have happened to me or any of us. I just resent the suggestion made by several here that Thai Partner = scam. If you go into a relationship with the equivalent of a bar girl in your country of origin then, there is a better chance that you will also get scammed rather than if you dated a nurse or a bank clerk for example

As I said earlier this doesn't mean that all bar girls are on the make and I know many who have made excellent partners. If the OP had a genuine question (which I doubt) then, he has the right to know that there are many happy relationships out here just as there are many failed ones in the West where one partner has felt cheated (financially or emotionally)

I've found that the Thai woman loves to pick up on things like the word love,they haven't a clue what it means,it ain't probably in their dictionary.theyve just got the art of when to say it.lets not forget they are an alien species to us and are all out to get what they can and provide for the family.when we marry them the only part of us that becomes family is our wealth.sex to most of them means nothing more than shaking hands or a high five.they are a manipulative little creature.

macca46 wrote:Hey samster like to see my bank book the new house I built and the new Toyota pick up I bought plus the debt I paid (not for the sick buffalo or mother or family) at this point of time I am out of pocket big time maybe I will recover some if the the Family Court does what it is supposed to so don't classify me in the wind up section.

My heart goes out to you mate,truly.hope you get some back out of the courts.they can be as nasty as their male counterparts and we know what they are like.

The Courts in Thailand will not help the falang full stop. Samster in the West we don't have girls who hang around outside a bar enticing people in and doing there best to keep you in the bar. Id say 80% of members met there partner in a bar, restaurant, or Online. Girls are taught by there parents to meet farangs and the only reason Thais put up with us is because of there belief we have money don't be fooled by the thai smile Samster, you will get bled dry. In a nutshell we are seen as a bank account and if that Account gets low simply open another one.

vlad wrote:The Courts in Thailand will not help the falang full stop. Samster in the West we don't have girls who hang around outside a bar enticing people in and doing there best to keep you in the bar. Id say 80% of members met there partner in a bar, restaurant, or Online. Girls are taught by there parents to meet farangs and the only reason Thais put up with us is because of there belief we have money don't be fooled by the thai smile Samster, you will get bled dry. In a nutshell we are seen as a bank account and if that Account gets low simply open another one.

Vlad, I think you meant "their" and not "there".

That aside, I have indeed seen evidence of what you refer to, but one has to be wary about where one looks for a partner, and be very careful and selective about the individual. There are nice girls out there, but one has to seek them out.

In our own natural habitat (or in the west as you put it), I think we would be much more careful about people we meet and get to know them much more before getting into serious relationships. Also, it is easier for us to understand (and assess) women from our own countries, as we speak the same language and share the same culture. Yet, we go to Thailand, a foreign country, with a different language and culture along with a certain bar culture, and we go to the first bar we find and pick the first woman we see, - or some of us seem to!

Remember also there is a saying about "like attracts like". I think there is more than a little truth in that too.

In 1 Arjay newbies walk into a bar get a little young bargirl sitting on your lap telling you what you want to hear, go the same bar next night same again, then you're on the hook come back home on skype wishing you were back with her and the circus begins. We should know better but we fall for it time and time again. Sadly there are more bad stories than good stories.I have not got a degree in English either Arjay. Let's be honest where do you meet your partner in Thailand i've never walked into Big C or Central Plaza Looking for a future Mrs Vlad.

Another reality check time. We can't just blame the Thai girls here, some Farang deserve all they get, they come to Thailand on holiday, give it all the Billy big bo**ocks, splash their money around, tell lies about what they do back home and then proceed to pick the prettiest and often the youngest girl in the bar and as most of us are adult enough to realise, you most likely aren't Brad Pitt, if you was old, unattractive and fat back home then guess what? Stop maligning the girls, yes they are money making machines but as I've said before if they work in a bar..... These girls put up with so much, I've seen it, old disgusting men shoving their hands down their tops and up their skirts, they'd be killed for doing it back home but for some reason they think it's acceptable to do it to the girls here. Actually, I've seen some really scummy blokes getting all they deserve and I'm quite happy about it. Please reread the first couple of sentences, I do say SOME Farang, of course we aren't all bad.

vlad wrote:The Courts in Thailand will not help the falang full stop. Samster in the West we don't have girls who hang around outside a bar enticing people in and doing there best to keep you in the bar. Id say 80% of members met there partner in a bar, restaurant, or Online. Girls are taught by there parents to meet farangs and the only reason Thais put up with us is because of there belief we have money don't be fooled by the thai smile Samster, you will get bled dry. In a nutshell we are seen as a bank account and if that Account gets low simply open another one.

You mean 80% of members on here? Don't know but where did you get the figure? How about in Thailand, you must know a lot (you seem quire knowledgeable about life here) does everybody you know here only date girls that work in a bar? If anybody insinuates that "all Thai women are" that is a red flag that they have swam in shark infested water and got their bollox bitten off then piss and moan about it.

Here's an exercise for you. Go on a dating website and if you can see beyond Lek with her tits bursting out of her top, then there are teachers on there and nurses, bank workers and all those other jobs that women do here that doesn't involve a pool table, connect 4 and a chrome pole.

vincemunday wrote:Another reality check time. We can't just blame the Thai girls here, some Farang deserve all they get, they come to Thailand on holiday, give it all the Billy big bo**ocks, splash their money around, tell lies about what they do back home and then proceed to pick the prettiest and often the youngest girl in the bar and as most of us are adult enough to realise, you most likely aren't Brad Pitt, if you was old, unattractive and fat back home then guess what? Stop maligning the girls, yes they are money making machines but as I've said before if they work in a bar..... These girls put up with so much, I've seen it, old disgusting men shoving their hands down their tops and up their skirts, they'd be killed for doing it back home but for some reason they think it's acceptable to do it to the girls here. Actually, I've seen some really scummy blokes getting all they deserve and I'm quite happy about it. Please reread the first couple of sentences, I do say SOME Farang, of course we aren't all bad.

Well written and I totally concur Vince. Sadly I have seen more mess relationships amongst my clientele than good ones. I don't believe I was "lucky" with meeting my Thai wife. We BOTH were at that particular time. I wasn't at my best of health or cirmcumstances and she truly believed Buddha sent me to her for her to take care. (her thought - up to her). By the same token her family were suffering a major business body blow and she wasn't able to carry on her 20k a month job held for 8 years prior. Good timing for both of us.

She has NEVER asked for money - but I paid the bills while she helped me back to health. About 20k a month tops INC the mortgage of 4,400 pcm. For two years now we have BOTH worked 12-15 hours a day building our business and I am the one who calls for down time. NEVER her. My "oops" moments relate totally to bar land and are alcohol related. Where I see all that has been described many times. So.. like about 85% of the ex pats here.. I dont go now.

Of course sometimes I want to - who doesnt. A few beers talk native language bxxlox with other ex pats and enjoy the fuss and la la from pretty younger females. But its in perspective. It HAS to be. Its NOT real.

But since researching for making a local radio channel, we find about 85% of the ex pats who live in Isan region DONT go to bars. Simples. They stay in their compounds, communities and houses WITH their families. Share their lives with sometimes extended families and quietly get on with life. And they don't use forums much!

That leaves an artificially increased statistic of relationship failures reported on sites such as UM. Creating the impression that its all a pretty messed up gig here.

I find any messes I've had.. totally of my own making. I have a reasonable and fair agreement with my wife as to how we distribute our assets if we were to fall out. And in simple terms the business here in Thailand would not even have been possible without her native skills, language, business sense in her own right and guidance. As well as those 100 hours a week.

Im not sitting on holier than thou mountain here. Just felt after reading through this thread over morning tea that I WAS perhaps lucky to have met my Mrs and saddened by the failures, self important, bitter, indeed naive on most occasions peeps reporting their circumstances and hoping to see others write about their SUCCESSFUL relationships here in Thailand.

I am slowly slowly a better, calmer, cleaner and healthier person now than I was in the West. And THAT is down to the gentle influence of my non ever bar working wife. Oh - and also? We have money WE made in a bank - and no debt.

I always had that encumbrance in my 40 years of self employment UK! So really.. just sayin'.

Very eloquent Mr. Liam..