Hi again! I see the thread is still open, and could not resist the temptation of telling you how all this turned out. For those of you who are still interested, and a little bit for my own sake, just to get it out of my system
I'll keep a loooong story short. It's been a ride, I can tell you. As you told me it would be. First half year was full of worries and mistrust. After she came to me first time in June last year, all this mistrust was gone, and we have been very happy together since.
No boyfriend on the side, I know 100% she has not had, even if i am the most sceptical man on earth. No contact with other farangs, or potential thai boyfriends. Dont say anything, I just know it.
During the year since we met, she has visited me two times, both three months at a time. She is infact here now. I have met her parents about 7 times now in her home village, and although i never really liked her father, her mother seems okay. But i dont really know for sure what they are saying about me. And I dont really care either. Because i have no plans on moving to the village.
I have to tell you that she is the sweetest girl i have ever met. She has a jealousy problem, but no more than I can handle. She never seemed like the type who was interested in money after the initial problems we had, which seemed to settle down after a short while. I got the impression that she understood that in my country i am by no means rich, even if i do okay. She has been really sweet and caring, i believed 1000% she was truly genuine and in love. I mean really in love. We have been on trips together, and had fun all the time. I have showed her my country, and we have been together all the time when i was not working.
So I've been one of the lucky 5% right. Well, hold on just a second.
So for a months time we have been planning to get married. And everything has been just great. Apart from one thing. Iv'e always had a feeling in my gut that something is not quite right. I could never put my finger on it, but your inner alarm bell tells you that you should be wary. You know the feeling, right?
She has told me before that some farang idiots have been paying Sin Sod for some other ladys from the village in order of 400 000 up to 1 000 000 bath. This made me suspicious right away. I know her aunt got 400 000 from a stupid German who's mother payed everything so the son could get a girlfriend. I kid you not. She was from the same background. Bar girl, one kid from before. Same family. So he set the bar (pun intended) for the rest of us, thank you very much.
So I have held off the Sin Sod conversation, because we were doing fine, and i knew that this could be potential trouble. That may have been stupid.
So today we were talking about the marriage visa. And i thought what the heck, its time for some talk about Sin Sod, this had to be settled before marriage. Because i knew she was expecting something. I told her that 400 000 is out of the question. I sad that i dont really understand why Farang have to pay 10 times Thai. I will have no part of such a stupid ripoff (the rip-off bit i did not say out loud hehe). I did not say i wouldn't pay anything, but said 400 000 was just not happening.
So she looked a bit uneasy, and asked me what I was willing to pay. I said you know I am currently laid off work, but things will pick up again soon, Im sure. "But its not the end of the world, because we love each other right?" I said while smiling.
She asked again how much I was willing to pay. I could have said 200 000...but i was going to test her a little bit. So I said: I pay for the wedding, we send your parents 10 000B every month, and with these conditions i think 100 000 should be a generous Sin Sod. When you learn the language and get a job your free to send more if you want, i said.
Guess what happened.
Tears of course. Blah blah bla Thailand Thai tradition only girl etc etc etc. Then she said no i will not marry you. And she will go home. Thats the end of that.
Man i could not believe my own ears. I know 100 000 is not an enormous sum of cash in Sin Sod...but 10 000 every month to her parents and kid...and wedding costs in addition...it adds up! And with the work situation...
So I said to her in a calm voice..."so this is what you call love in Thailand...I see."
So she is walking away from a caring and faithful boyfriend, secure easy life, guaranteed money for her family...because 100 000 was too small Sin Sod. I have trouble fathoming all this. But i refuse to be taken advantage of. I could have raised it to 200 000 then and there, but i will not do it. If she is not happy with the offer she does not love me. And her family will always be her priority over me. I dont want this.
I could have never guessed. If someone would say to me this relationship is about money, I would just laugh. Oh no...not her. She's special. She is the sweetest girl i have ever met (she is too!)
So this is how it ended people. You all were right. Feel free to say "i told you so!"I can just take comfort in that no kids got involved, and I did not get cleaned out for more than I could afford to loose. A broken heart will heal. But a hard lesson learned. Be careful when messing with bar girls!!