Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Long distance relationships, mixed relationships etc...
derek chap
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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by derek chap » June 24, 2012, 7:18 pm

Hello all,

i am new to the forum and have come here for some advice. I was in Udon around six months ago and met a lovely lady in Mr Tongs disco. This was my second trip to Thailand, though first in the Udon area. I freely admit to being a little gullible on all things asian and up until recently was assuming it was a honest chance meeting of two genuine people. I am 31 and the lady is off a similar age. We spent a very pleasant 3 weeks together during which time I never handed over physical cash though bore the brunt of all costs, which I was content to do knowing she did not really have any money, and according to her had recently become unemployed after the company she was working for collapsed. I have sent a little money out a couple of times, perhaps 10,000 baht in all, after some hints from her about hospital bills etc.

I guess I knew it was all a bit to good to be true to begin with and certainly had no intention of selling my house and moving out to Asia. I really like this girl but after chatting with an old Udon hand who claimed to have lived there 15 years Im now wondering if I should give her up.

His opinion was that 90% of the girls in Mr Tongs are freelancers looking to hustle as much as they can from gullible fools like me, he explained there were a million tricks depending on the how foolish they thought the guy might be. His opinion of my situation was that my trusting nature and relative inexperience of Thailand would mean she would know it would be wise to play what he called the long game, claiming she would milk me for years, even pushing for marriage to eventually divorce me an take half my home !, his assertion was had she known I was not a buffalo, she would have expected immediate payment.

It was also claimed, that if the girl had gone home with me on the first night (which she did) it was 99.9% certain to involve a hussle, the claim being that any respectable Thai lady would, (A) Never be seen in Mr Tongs and (B) Never go home with someone the same night they met.

At times I thought this guy was just bitter having been taken for a ride himself before and some of his opinions seemed quite extreme regarding the nature of the Thais, even claiming they would go the length of introducing you a fake family with an elderly invalid to soften you and have an angle for getting medical bill money sent. He summed up saying Thai people are sweet and sour, meaning sweet to your face and sour behind your back, said that they believe themselves superior to everyone, have extreme nationalistic tendancies and in reallity are snobs who actually hate anyone who is not Thai. At this point I departed as the guy was becoming somewhat manic in his tirade on all things Thai. Though i did find it interesting that most of the expats in the bar seemed to agree with everything he said.

Anyway I have drifted from the point, what I really want to ask is the opinion of any long term expats who know about Mr tongs disco. Is it really as bleak as this guy pointed out ? How could I find out if this girl is another long term player with multiple guys on the go ?

I have just finished a 3 year nightmare relationship in England and cant face another one.

All and any advice appreciated.

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by Tafia » June 24, 2012, 8:54 pm

Tongs is filled nightly with all those girls who haven't manage to score in their own bar. If you watch carefully many will just hassle you for the drinks and then slip away later with their Thai boyfriend.
Search the forums...and you will see.
Proceed with caution is the best advice I can give you. Its unlikely you will meet your future wife in Mr Tongs!!

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by Prenders88 » June 24, 2012, 10:13 pm

The Wingman you met, is mostly right.
It's just a game here, played with smoke and mirrors.
Nothing is what it seems.
Udon Thani, best seen through your car's rear view mirror.

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by maaka » June 25, 2012, 3:00 am

good girls dont go home with a man on the first night, or go to Mr was probably just holiday sex for her, with a gulliable farang she could trip around the country with, and where he could pay for everything in exchange for abit of the other. sex is a way to a mans pocket for sure...good girls dont ask for have only known her 3 weeks, and she has already got you eating out her hand, and sending her money for ' hospital bills ' ...whoaaaaa..slow down buddy. I certainly wouldnt be rushing into marriage or anything like that, or selling up back home based on a 3 week affair with a woman one hardly knew....give her a year.. Is she still at Mr Tongs when you're back homeside?

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by thrilled » June 25, 2012, 3:26 am

All in all women are quite conservative in Thailand.I think percentages of less than 1% would go to A place like Tongs.
As far as going home with someone they just met it's not going to happen.
If ya want a good woman ,learn the language.Then go to places where farangs don't go to.I'm not talking about disco's /bars etc.

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by pienmash » June 25, 2012, 4:51 am

To the OP ............

You will get copius amount of advice from experts on numerous forums ,,,,,, advice offered upon reflection from their experiences past n present both here in Thailand and or thei home country for those who have take a thai partner back .

IMO for every happy ending there are at least 10 disaters usually endin with the Farang being fleeced ,,, these fall into the catagory of bad luck , family pressues/demands , money probs ,,,,, and of course just a plan n simple ripp off .

Tiz also true imo that offer a Thai las a young handsome farang WITH NO MONEY or AN ELDELY chap with pot fulls in the bank ,,,,,,,,the latter always wins out .

As for somewhere to meet a future Thai partner ,,,, when you go out specifically looking dont you just go for the first thing that remotely lights your candle ,, be patient and it will happen naturaly in time ,, by livin here perminantl , learning the lingo and culture and mixing /socialising with working Thais and i dont mean bar girls ,, you aint gonna meet a genuine chance of a longterm relationship in a beer or gogo bar ...... go for agovernment worker get wed and enjoy all the benifits of her postion , they tend to a tadge more sincere and a cracking shag waiting to get out .

As ever i may be wrong , but for sure Tongs even tho still the best /active nightspot in Udon DEFINATELY ISNT the place to bump into ur future wife .


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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by bubbles » June 25, 2012, 4:54 am

Dont be to dissmayed you have only sent her 10000 Bt which is not a lot of money she spent three weeks with you any working girl would have asked that for a week, so you have not done to bad, if you like her keep in touch send a little money not to much, if she aks for big money drop off, come back again and see how things go maybe she will ask you to visit her family, I think you have done not so bad you spent three weeks with her and at the end it cost you 10000 bt if you had a mrs with you Im sure it would have cost you more, anyway good luck keep us informed how you go.
Regards Bubbles

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by fatbob » June 25, 2012, 6:58 am

You can bet your experienced mate is telling you what he would always like to do but never doe's and I bet he would and will always do exactly what your doing now, foresight is a wonderful thing when your not involved, only you can sort your situation no one else, what happened with you and her is between you and her, use your brain and do what is best for you long term, its all a learning curve.

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by Prenders88 » June 25, 2012, 8:29 am

Mash's last paragraph is spot on.
Udon Thani, best seen through your car's rear view mirror.

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by fatbob » June 25, 2012, 9:39 am

And what if it is the very first time the lady has been to Tongs, or a western bar, doe's that make it different? Or if she go's regularly to Thai nightclubs, discos and gets shagged all the time by Thai's is that different?

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by merchant seaman » June 25, 2012, 10:39 am

Seem's to be the same old story being rehashed again with a few new twists. Don't know how many times this same discussion has taken place on this forum or others.

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by dezzer » June 25, 2012, 4:09 pm

Some words of ADVICE keep your money in your pocket, keep away from Tongs, and definitly keep away from the schemeing money grabbers(supposed Thai Ladies) it will pay dividends in the long run, have a nice day.

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by grievous » June 25, 2012, 5:51 pm

I agree keep your money in your pocket keep your eyes and ears open, throw away the rose coloured glasses and her true character will eventually come out.
The place you like to have a drink doesn't make the person and you can meet good people in all kinds of places.

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by Aardvark » June 25, 2012, 6:03 pm

I wonder if the Op isn't trolling just a little :roll:

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Mr Tongs, bad meeting ground ?

Post by mathusalah80 » June 25, 2012, 8:24 pm

by Aardvark » June 25, 2012, 6:03 pm

I wonder if the Op isn't trolling just a little

One thing for absolute sure Aarvark, definitely a local 'doing his thing' . Far, far too much knowledge of the 'girls' modus operanda, and Mr. Tongs, in particular, Also the 'helpful stranger' just a fabrication, to get around problem of giving a facade of authenticity to the posters alleged situation. Also joining date is often a helpful clue!
Why do the same well meaning, helpful, and usually long serving & experienced members, keep 'biting' on these obviously fabricated,( and frequently repeated in various permutations), stories. In so doing, they are merely feeding, and encouraging the sick humour, and obviously unfulfilled and empty lives, of these pathetic human (?) beings.
This particular troll must be the most repeated, and without doubt, the most boring of the many trolls which rear their heads from time to time, on this forum. Suggest everyone responds to any future such trolls by simply responding with: " :roll: "
Note: Will be interesting to see if any responses to this post, by their nature seeking to justify the OP, inadvertantly provide a clue!!,


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