I am with Joe on this one Doug. we are both giving you similar advice..get over here early before the date you are supposed to be back, watch the place and get some solid proof..and pull yourself together man for **** sake..you have let yourself fall for this hook, line and sinker without nothing more than a frigging voicemail...

I feel for you mate, and the situation that has unfolded, its a mind game, thats what the callers intention was, but I would hate to see you, or a good marriage fall apart because of some rumour.

A jealous "friend" of my wife (we were only dating at the time, though) said something similar to me because she wanted to break us up so she could creep in. However, not only did I TRUST my (then) girlfriend, but what the jealous friend said was impossible due to the fact that my wife was with ME during the supposed time the lie happened - but the jealous friend did not know that...

If you don't have trust then F it. Take the pain and skip to the next chapter as quickly as possible because if there is no trust, it won't work. Now or eventually.

Good luck.

I can only get into Thailand by maybe 10 hours earlier and she may already have left for Bangkok.It won't be hard to watch her.She claims to sleep at her shop,six days a week,due to the highway bandits that kick girls off their bikes for their purses.So I just need someone to watch her shop.

I have trusted my wife up to now,but now the seed of doubt has entered my mind.I will make every effort to find truth out.Will post when im in Udon.

keep me uptodate on events as I am following your situation..

So the seed of doubt,provided anonymously, has entered your mind?

If you think about that for a moment,what is your future prognosis for your marriage?

When will you have the ''trust foundation''that I believe is necessary to having a successful marriage?

Will,you always be subject to new doubt in your mind,when an anonymous person or stranger ''places it there?

Do you honestly believe that the source has nothing to do with whether you give her your trust or not?

How would you feel if your wife,B/F,family or anyone else accepted ''doubt in their minds''about you,from anonymous sources?

Do you think ''marriage'' deserves a different threshold of trust,than what you would have for a G/F?

Emotionally,one can not help but feel the doubt,but IMO,a ''marriage'' deserves the benefit of trust if it is to survive and that trust should not be shaken by anonymous secretive people that ,no doubt,care absolutely nothing about you or your welfare.Their motives are hurtful for whatever reason,maybe their own sick pleasure!

Hopefully,I would value my wife above such people,therefore ,I would tell her about the conversation(not ask her),tell her of my love for her and let her deal with it!

dougness wrote:I have trusted my wife up to now,but now the seed of doubt has entered my mind.I will make every effort to find truth out.Will post when im in Udon.

Don't want to sound like the guy who knows everything but imo this is why i try to avoid any kind of long distance relationship.

I agree this is difficult more if someone seek to have a serious relationship.
That's not my case at the moment but i'm not immune to fall in love.

I simply can't bear the cost to have a long distance relation..i strictly don't know what she is doing during my time outside Thailand also i don't want to impose some life direction on somebody else and i don't want to enter in the "sponsorship"action.

I will be very clear, if for example i find a girl whom i affectionate and this is mutual so she expects to continue our relationship,i need to be strong and make her understand that i prefer to let her free when i'm in Farangland.
If i met her when i'm back ,why not?depends on me and her.
If she is with another man..that's life..no problem.

I don' t want to have my mind parasited about a lady who is so far away..

This is valable p4p girl or non p4p girl..if i want to have a long term commitment,i will have to move to Thailand permanently or atleast to spend most of my time there.
I will be upfront of my behaviour if the situation of serious or more long term prospect happen.

I think I know the mystery caller is.I Will know when I get back.My exfriend phoned my wife two days ago and told her I was having an affair with a exgirlfriend of his.Someone he can't let go of.The mystery caller left two messages,one saying call back and not much more.the second call was the bs that my wife was cheating on me.I will have my wife listen to the first voicemail to confirm the voice.i'm convinced the timimg of the two calls are not coincidence.I told this man to not contact my wife some time ago.

dougness wrote:I will have my wife listen to the first voicemail to confirm the voice.i'm convinced the timimg of the two calls are not coincidence.I told this man to not contact my wife some time ago.

There ya go! Communication and trust win the day! =D>

Cheers, mate!

how did you know your exfriend phoned your wife two days ago, and told her your were supposedly having an affair?..did your wife tell you this.??. then good concerned and open hearted loving wife..sounds like the BS game is being played on both of you, and this exfriend is really after your wife for himself..

agreed..yah to communication and openess..

Yeah my wife told me this.She was crying as she picked up the phone.She told me this and asked when.She recieved her call the same day I recieved mine.So it seems very fishy to me.I haven't told her about my call yet,but I saved it in my voice mail.This guy still thinks we should be friends,he is crazy.Especially,if I find out its wifes voice.I really hope his gal takes him for every penny,LOL.

Glad to hear that. Hope this renews your trust in your wife.

I wonder if after she got the call she contemplated having someone spy on you!

I wouldn't give another thought to getting back at the person who made the calls, or even mention it to them. If they know you and your wife it will make them more mad to see that the calls had absolutely no effect on your relationship!

Thats what I did when it happend to me. We sometimes see the "friend" that made the acusations, but she has a hard time looking either of us in eye now.

None of this can convince me of whatever. This is a public forum. Whatever happens might just be a reaction to the information that you pass here to the world...

Well im in Thailand,not in Udon yet,but slowly making my way up.My wife told me its likely her exfriend who she had a failed business deal with that planted the call.My wife went to buy a business that I told her I wasn't going to invest in and put a 20,000baht deposit down on it.The woman cancelled the deal and would not give the money back,surprise suprise.It just came to me now that I should have chastised my wife for doing what I told her I didn't want done.I said I wasn't going to put a dime into any new business plans in Thailand for her.Anyway,my wife had some dirt on her friends boyfriend stealing company money.She went public with it after repeated attempts to get her money back failed.I would not have done it as this guy has the ability/money to kill her.Don't want to be around,if that happens,LOL.I'm pretty tired of all the nonsense.

thanks for the update Doug..still here for you mate..its going to be tiring until it is sorted..sounds like your wife needs chastising now, if this is the hornet nest she has stirred up via her previous actions..she just about sunk you and her over 20,000bht..sounds also like you now need to pull right back from any more confrontation with this other guy, if he has the killer instinct..reprimand the misses, get your house and relationship in order, change phone numbers, and keep the **** away from the other lot..something could still surface, so be alert for a month or two.

Did some chastising and she tried to argue with me on the bus to her Mothers place.I just said that I don't want to spend two weeks at her familys place.Its nice and all,but I don't want to have people start haranging me for money,as I don't really have any,LOL.As far as losing money goes with my wife,20,000 is only the tip of the iceberg.Thats why I told her no to any new business ideas in Thailand.She said she borrowed it from her credit,well guess who pays that?Me.And she always says to me,"You always want something for what you give",well so far I haven't recieved much more than the odd chicken dinner and a smile .She is moving back to her hometown after I leave for good.I'm not afraid of the guy she pissed of,he works for certain large oil company here in Thailand ,and wouldn't dream of causing trouble,to me anyway.My wife made up with me,because I would not back down.I will not go back to her,if she decides to break up with me,ever.She won't because they all depend on me too much.I don't know what it is,but there is no end to the trouble Thais have with each other.The problem is that my money goes to thier lawyer bills.Its amazing how much they will try to rip each other off.And how cold is it for a Thai man to ignore his childrens welfare.I'm ranting now.Peace in the middle east before there is hassle free Thailand.

Mystery solved,my wife finally got a hold of the caller.She told the caller to tell her exfriend,she doesn't care about the debt,but is severing all ties with her.I sure wish I had a extra 20,000baht,LOL.

Good to hear the mystery is solved Doug, one bad dream less!

Your previous post doesn't sound too good on your relationship, talking about leaving for good and all the money you spent on family lawyers bills....... I would have a second thought about the whole situation if I were you, remember you're not the family's ATM nor your wife's ATM.

Take care, be careful.

Cheers
Joe

glad things have sorted themselves out, and you know where your at..Maaka

Why do nearly all Thai dramas with a farang involved end up costing the farang?