Did you know one ? is sufficient? Maybe not as you are a *******. My point is you are so many words I could use to describe you, but I am limited by getting banned. You have no idea what I have done in life. I am not a numb ..... who can do only one thing, I can and have done many things. I also know people, very well, and I know that if you are claiming your qualifications as a MH Nurse can lead you to making an online diagnosis of who or what I am, then you have forgotten about overstepping your field of practice.

Why not read the history here yourself and see what went on, because it may give you more of an insight.

Am I controlling? Do you know Manchester? I was a police officer there for 11 years, 4 as a sergeant, yes I can control, yes I can take control of major ---- going down, and yes, I can be an arrogant *****.
I was also a copper in Oz, and a Prison Officer. I don't suffer fools gladly.

I can cook, I could have been a chef apart from a ****** up sense of smell from many broken noses from playing rugby. I am a published author, I have a diploma in editing and proofreading. I know and understand Thai work laws and visas. I did not mention anything about the problems of working in Thailand, but you assumed I knew ---- all about it. I am not numb or dumb, so don't treat me like I am.

I noticed you, like most others, offered no advice re my original question but instead took the opportunity to pick on me. Well done.

Many of the expats writing in this forum have learn a lot about thai culture and understand the way of living and also implement it to there own lives. That includes give advice to other Farrang coming to this wonderful country for live and theres advice is very usefully for the most of us. My self i have learn a lot from this forum by reading the posts and it take long time before i posts. Now after live full time for many years in this country i have learn the thai way of living but.... that takes times.

I dont know who i should be sorry for, the people who you insult ore your self whit your lack of dicipline and god manner.....and i gues you give the answer by your self:

"I can be an arrogant *****.
I was also a copper in Oz, and a Prison Officer. I don't suffer fools gladly."

You come to this forum and ask fore advice and when you have them, you insult the people which give them for you instead of listen. It seems that you dont know anything about thai culture and i like introduce you for one god one......

TAM DEE - DAI DEE - That meens when you do something god - you have god things back!

petemcc wrote:
I noticed you, like most others, offered no advice re my original question but instead took the opportunity to pick on me. Well done.

As you well know, life can be tough at times. Just suck it up, and carry on, and do not let the bullying stop you. 55555

In regard to your original question, it is very difficult to know. I suspect only you and the lady can come up with the answer. If she cannot go to Australia with you for whatever reason, then she is not going no matter what you do.

NKStan's point is that you come off as an arrogant and overbearing know-it-all whose social skills are obviously lacking. This is not to say that you are not expert in whatever fields you follow, and work in, but as a person...well....it never hurts to try and get along with people rather than give them lessons in your qualifications, bluntness, and arrogance. O-T got it right too, I mean how many people would point out that their girlfriend's mother, and their patients, love them. Anyway, congratulations on that.

What is my point? Figure it out yourself.

And good luck with the lady, but sad to say, she might be better off without you if you are as arrogant with her as you are in your discussions on Udonmap.

From his posts I do not think Pete is a troll.
I do think that he struggles to see anyone's viewpoint other than his own.
He wants a solution to this problem that fits in with his expectations of a solution - that he & the woman he has chosen end up living happy ever after in Oz.
Pete, sorry but I do not see any senario where that is going to happen.
That is not attempting to be funny or clever, you want something that, given the set of circumstances that you outline and the outcome you desire is clearly impossible.
You might think that the replies you have received have not appreciated your question, but, sadly, most of them have.

If you like it or not the answer you desire - a method of getting your wife or girlfriend to Oz & she being happy about it just is such a long odds chance as to make another decision on the way forward your life should go makes far more sense for you & her!!

petemcc wrote:OK, there seems to be a fair few decent guys on this forum, and a few who reckon they know what is best.

Right, put your brains into action...ready?

How the hell can you get a Thai mother and brother to wise up and stop being stuck in the dark ages and let their 38 year old daughter/older sister, do what she wants?

Is there a magic trick? How about money, gold, mind altering drugs?

Help.

How much time have you physicaly spent with this lady and I mean in person, not on a web cam ?

Could be that mum and brother do not think she (and they!) know you well enough yet. Could be she is thinking the same thing and as others have remarked is using the family as an excuse. Afterall you might have anger management issues or drink too much, maybe her former husband was the same and she (and they!) want to be sure about you :-" .

The magic trick you ask about just could be as simple as you spending a bit more time with her (and them!) which would enable you to weave the enchanting spell of your many personalities over them

Money and gold will buy you most things here in Udon and in my experience aywhere in the world for that matter.

Sorry but I just can't imagine giving prospective inlaws mind altering drugs.

Out of interest Pete, have you asked a similar question on any other Thailand related forums?

petemcc wrote: I am a published author

No you are not

Hey, mate, if yer so bloody smart why the he.. are you asking for input from us ignorant fools?

My thoughts exactly Monkeyman ,, imagine sitting having a beer with him !!!! I thought we joined these forums to create ex-pat friendship and offer help to each other through our different experiences,,,,,,,, not to alienate ourselves the way he seems to be so succesfully doing.
If I was as angry inside as what he obviously is I would go and live in Afghanistan , that kind of anger could be put to good use out there ,, thinking about the thousands and thousands of miles I have driven over the LOS if I had driven around with attitude like that I would have long been blown away.
Good luck to the mystery 38 year old girl , mabe youll soon find your tee rak

barryp wrote:

petemcc wrote: I am a published author

No you are not

Oh yes I am, want to place a financial bet on it?

udonsmiles wrote:

petemcc wrote:OK, there seems to be a fair few decent guys on this forum, and a few who reckon they know what is best.

Right, put your brains into action...ready?

How the hell can you get a Thai mother and brother to wise up and stop being stuck in the dark ages and let their 38 year old daughter/older sister, do what she wants?

Is there a magic trick? How about money, gold, mind altering drugs?

Help.

How much time have you physicaly spent with this lady and I mean in person, not on a web cam ?

Could be that mum and brother do not think she (and they!) know you well enough yet. Could be she is thinking the same thing and as others have remarked is using the family as an excuse. Afterall you might have anger management issues or drink too much, maybe her former husband was the same and she (and they!) want to be sure about you :-" .

The magic trick you ask about just could be as simple as you spending a bit more time with her (and them!) which would enable you to weave the enchanting spell of your many personalities over them

Money and gold will buy you most things here in Udon and in my experience aywhere in the world for that matter.

Sorry but I just can't imagine giving prospective inlaws mind altering drugs.

Out of interest Pete, have you asked a similar question on any other Thailand related forums?

No, I haven't asked the question anywhere else.
The mind altering drugs was only a joke.
I only have one personality in real life.
I admit I have only spent about 30 days physically with her.
I don't have any anger management issues or a drink problem.
They seem happy for me to live with her in Thailand and go into business, it's the Australia thing that is the problem.
Yes, perhaps time will help, and thanks for answering my question.

easterneye wrote:My thoughts exactly Monkeyman ,, imagine sitting having a beer with him !!!! I thought we joined these forums to create ex-pat friendship and offer help to each other through our different experiences,,,,,,,, not to alienate ourselves the way he seems to be so succesfully doing.
If I was as angry inside as what he obviously is I would go and live in Afghanistan , that kind of anger could be put to good use out there ,, thinking about the thousands and thousands of miles I have driven over the LOS if I had driven around with attitude like that I would have long been blown away.
Good luck to the mystery 38 year old girl , mabe youll soon find your tee rak

Another cyber psychoanalyst. How many does this forum boast?

Rather than jump on me to support your friends, why not take an objective look at what I asked and the replies I received. I did not up the ante and I am not angry, I just don't like idiots

petemcc wrote:OK, there seems to be a fair few decent guys on this forum, and a few who reckon they know what is best.

Right, put your brains into action...ready?

How the hell can you get a Thai mother and brother to wise up and stop being stuck in the dark ages and let their 38 year old daughter/older sister, do what she wants?

Is there a magic trick? How about money, gold, mind altering drugs?

Help.

What you mean your question was not answered?Arrogant ,know it all person who does not understand that there is a major difference in preference for Thais, for Thai customs and culture that you perceive as ''dark ages'' behavior!You don't have a prayer in a permanent mind set change for the mother ,brother or GF,although your ''magic tricks'' might give you some temporary success,which would only make your ''problem ''bigger in the end,IMO.

If you have anymore qualifications than already stated on this forum,it would be obvious that you consider yourself an expert in most areas already!Therefore your posting for advice is ,simply put,TROLLING!Trolling for opportunity to blow your horn about how smart you are,baiting others into argumentative situations because you have shown very little interest in our experienced advice.I suppose that is probably from a mindset that simply wants what you want and hopefully thinking that us experienced expats would confirm your thinking!

My ''diagnosis'' was confined to your forum personality!If you think that diagnosis or judgement of character is not seen by the early actions of a new poster,than maybe you are not as smart as you think you are,but I am positive your arrogance doesn't allow for self honesty,your EGO is ready to do battle at all that is not perceived as postive analysis about you!

What are the other ''5'' forums you post on?I'll bet that they ''love'' you as much as the GF family really loves you!

nkstan wrote:

petemcc wrote:OK, there seems to be a fair few decent guys on this forum, and a few who reckon they know what is best.

Right, put your brains into action...ready?

How the hell can you get a Thai mother and brother to wise up and stop being stuck in the dark ages and let their 38 year old daughter/older sister, do what she wants?

Is there a magic trick? How about money, gold, mind altering drugs?

Help.

What you mean your question was not answered?Arrogant ,know it all person who does not understand that there is a major difference in preference for Thais, for Thai customs and culture that you perceive as ''dark ages'' behavior!You don't have a prayer in a permanent mind set change for the mother ,brother or GF,although your ''magic tricks'' might give you some temporary success,which would only make your ''problem ''bigger in the end,IMO.

If you have anymore qualifications than already stated on this forum,it would be obvious that you consider yourself an expert in most areas already!Therefore your posting for advice is ,simply put,TROLLING!Trolling for opportunity to blow your horn about how smart you are,baiting others into argumentative situations because you have shown very little interest in our experienced advice.I suppose that is probably from a mindset that simply wants what you want and hopefully thinking that us experienced expats would confirm your thinking!

My ''diagnosis'' was confined to your forum personality!If you think that diagnosis or judgement of character is not seen by the early actions of a new poster,than maybe you are not as smart as you think you are,but I am positive your arrogance doesn't allow for self honesty,your EGO is ready to do battle at all that is not perceived as postive analysis about you!

What are the other ''5'' forums you post on?I'll bet that they ''love'' you as much as the GF family really loves you!

I only brought up my qualifications because I was forced to show my hand by people who were implying that I was an idiot with no life experience. The 'love me' comment was also a result of someone questioning how her family thought about me, in fact from memory it was a disparaging comment.

I would suggest if the moderators believe I am trolling that this thread should be closed, which indeed I asked for 2 days ago. Simple really.

.

I would suggest if the moderators believe I am trolling that this thread should be closed, which indeed I asked for 2 days ago. Simple really.[/quote]
In view of your self description on your forum profile I think that is about the most sensible comment you have made .
http://www.udonmap.com/udonthaniforum/member20757.html

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, enough already as they say, in Israel, let us leave this poor sad, person who is so indecisive that any advice given , gives yet further problems that he may or may not have to overcome.

he states quite sincerely that he is not stupid nor a troll, lets us believe him and say to each their own, but kindly do not disturb the equanimity that normally pervades this forum and take your puerile questions to another forum where the posters may be able to offer some light on his seeming insurmountable problems.

So Pete or who ever you are, thank-you for an interesting post, I am sure that in some far corner of this earth you will find the answer, on how to coerce a 38 year old lady who you state wants to live with you , seems unable to leave or go against her families wishes. You seem to forget the old saying, blood is thicker than water, or just maybe they see you as you really are, and SHE is just too polite to tell you.
And if YOU are a nurse, I am very glad I will never be ill in Australia at your hospital.

Thanks and bye bye.

Pete, I gave you some food for thought in my early posts on this thread, (as indeed did many others), but you were far too busy reacting against what I (and they) said, rather than stopping and thinking about the point I was making. You need to work on your "active listening" skills.

I pointed out that with her income and job, why would her family want her to go, - thus you ought to have been thinking how could you overcome those points. What were the real issues involved there. Also, I suggested that whether the obstacle was really the family, or the daughter, you needed to be trying to get behind what their objections really were. Only then could you hope to overcome them. But again you just dived in with, that wasn't what you wanted to hear, - you wanted answers. They were the answers if you took the time to stop and think about them!!

As you've since mentioned you've only actually spent 30 days with her, I would have thought that even you would realise that that is far too short a period (for you, her or her family). You should be adding a year or two to that, before making lifetime decisions.

Before you go, I've got a name for your restaurant - "The Rickety Bridge".

I don't think anyone was implying that you had ''no life experience'',therefore an idiot.If there were implications of that,than of course they are idiots.The point ,from me,is that you claim so many experienced qualifications as you argue advice and experience from longterm expats that you requested.

Why?

I the obvious supposition is that you are wanting to be confirmed in your thinking,because you don't seem to have any gratitude for our sharing of experience,shown by your defensive and argumentative attitude,which prompts constant repies from some of us!

Analyse your question posed on this thread!What possible answers do you think were possible?You claim much expertise in many of your postings about Thailand and Thai /falang relationships that it brings out a ''Western arrogance'' that most of us have displayed initially as ''newbies'',thinking we knew what was best!But you take it to another level with you asking and then arguing or ''telling'' us that,in a sense,we are wrong and you are right!

I and some others have responded to your personal ,non-newbie lack of humbleness and appreciation for our opinions and experience info,which ,either,inflames you or possibly,as a possible motive of trolling is thought,pleasures you,Either endears you to the posters on the forum!But ,of course,if you are a troll,you could care less.

I can't imagine being a ''customer'' or a friend'' of yours if you were oprening a business or wanting to teach my child because you are not communityiendly,IMO,therefore your lack of success is predictable.

To publicly insult the business practices of Jeremy at the Bookhouse,a perfect example of a good business operator,that most expats living here have come to realize and support,destroyed much of you credibility to begin with!But you EGO has blinded you to hearing or recognizing how that works!

It should be obvious to you,being so smart and educated,that you DO NOT have the Thailand experience that most of us have,therefore some humility should have shown as a relative newbie,but NO.we got arrogance and arguments,challenges and credential comparisons along with lists of your expertise in many fields!Most of us are retired and can spend much time at the keyboard!I wonder how such a busy go getter like you can be online so much,never mind,just thinking out loud!

I work shifts and get quite a few days off, that is why I have time.
Where did I criticise Jeremy's business practices, you see this is a myth that has bee perpetuated by the likes of you. I merely stated that I thought some of his prices were excessive. Criticising prices is not something new or unique to me, people always whinge about prices, so I'm hardly a serious offender.

As much as you can't imagine being a customer or friend of mine, I can't imagine me wanting you as a customer or friend, but hey, nothing lost for either of us.

I have not argued with anything that has been said. I have on occasions stated that the replies were left field and not addressing my question, and I have responded to people who flamed me.

All I wanted was a simple answer to a complicated question, which is why I asked ex-pats.
Thanks
Pete

arjay wrote:Pete, I gave you some food for thought in my early posts on this thread, (as indeed did many others), but you were far too busy reacting against what I (and they) said, rather than stopping and thinking about the point I was making. You need to work on your "active listening" skills.

I pointed out that with her income and job, why would her family want her to go, - thus you ought to have been thinking how could you overcome those points. What were the real issues involved there. Also, I suggested that whether the obstacle was really the family, or the daughter, you needed to be trying to get behind what their objections really were. Only then could you hope to overcome them. But again you just dived in what that wasn't what you wanted to hear, - you wanted answers. They were the answers if you took the time to stop and think about them!!

As you've since mentioned you've only actually spent 30 days with her, I would have thought that even you would realise that that is far too short a period (for you, her or her family). You should be adding a year or two to that, before making life ---- decisions.

Before you go, I've got a name for your restaurant - "The Rickety Bridge".

Thanks, I understand what you are saying. I know money is the underlying issue and her brother wanted to know everything about my finances. I'm not too badly off, but unfortunately like most I am worth more dead than alive!

I have listened to what people said and sorted the wheat from the chaff, but unfortunately I have now been put in a position where I am being treated like nonsense and can do nothing right.

Anyway, 'The Rickety Bridge' has a ring to it, maybe see you there.