DOGGY DILEMA

Post by **pienmash** » June 29, 2012, 9:21 pm

Hello all.

Wasnt sure where to post this but decided on relationships as it seemed fitting........ this is NOT a joke .

Most members who use the shop know me and my dog Bisto are very close ,,, hes just had a new hip joint operation and is now wel n truly on the mend thanks to the animal hospital near the airport .

Another problem has arisen lately ,, hes one year old very soon and is now trying to mont evrything , hes had a go at the cushions on the sofa , i bought him a teddy bear he shagged it til its un reconisable ,,,, i most certainly will not have his nuts cut off ,,,,,,,,, for various reasons ... SO

Does anyone have a female poodle /shitzu type dog that needs some sex ,,, or is there a soi 2 for dogs in or near Udon ?

I would love to get him de flowered for his birthday ,,,, inturn im planning a little party for him at the shop .details to follow tho it will include a FREE drink for those attending , NOT MILK ... draught cider or lager.

Agin ot a joke ,,, just a concerned father .

Mash

Post by **poocman** » June 30, 2012, 7:49 am

Flicking one handed through the latest Ann Summers catalogue I think I found your answer to young Bisto’s dilemma… an inflatable blow up Sheep…originality marketed for the lonely carrot crunchers out in the sticks it could become Bisto’s new play mate…

Post by **jackspratt** » June 30, 2012, 8:02 am

Hmmmm ........... reads to me like one of those forums threads where the OP opens with "I've got a friend......"

Post by **Bertie_Wooster** » June 30, 2012, 8:05 am

Here ya go and remember to wear gloves.

Post by **jimboLV** » June 30, 2012, 8:28 am

pienmash wrote: is there a soi 2 for dogs in or near Udon ?

Mash I thought every soi in Udon was a soi 2 for dogs.

At least when I lived there I can't count the number of canine fornications I witnessed. Seriously there is nothing you can do about this except to get him snipped, which I know you don't want to do. Even if you find him a suitable partner for a one night stand, he will be just as horny the next day. The problem is that male dogs are always horny, whereas the female only wants it when they are in heat, which only occurs twice a year. A cruel joke played on them by nature.

Post by **maxeboy** » June 30, 2012, 9:47 am

I have been following a serie called the Dog Whisper fra USA.
You can Google it and see for Yourself if You can get some good advices to benefit from.
Hope You can solve the problem in a good way.

Kind regards from maxeboy

Post by **tamada** » June 30, 2012, 9:48 am

Bugger Bisto.... where's this Soi 2 again?

On Topic: Jack, our one-eyed male shih-tzu has been buggering cushions, soft toys and the odd (?) boy dog for most of his 6 years. He has popped his cherry with a charming lady shih-tzu a few years back but on recollection, that didn't stop his wanting to roger anything in sight. Thailand, with it's penchant for not seriously messing with rampant dog overpopulation must indeed be hellish when all these uppity hi-so Bitches only give it up once or twice a year. Maybe there's a whole lotta ladyboy dogs out there as well, thus making it truly Dog Hell.

Have you considered that Bisto may actually have katoey leanings? I know I have with our Jack!

Post by **tamada** » June 30, 2012, 9:50 am

maxeboy wrote:I have been following a serie called the Dog Whisper fra USA.
You can Google it and see for Yourself if You can get some good advices to benefit from.
Hope You can solve the problem in a good way.

Kind regards from maxeboy

Images of Mash whispering, 'Down boy.... you don't need a shag' in Bisto's ear.

Post by **poocman** » June 30, 2012, 10:47 am

Second suggestion…. Go to the vets and get Bisto the monthly chemical castration injection… One jab and he'll forget all about doggie “pootang” for at least a month… My wife takes me and I have completely stopped sniffing woman’s arse’s…

Post by **fatbob** » June 30, 2012, 10:58 am

You could get on all fours yourself..........

Post by **pienmash** » June 30, 2012, 11:00 am

Some excellent advice gents ,, thanks .

I had a heart to heart with Bisto last night ,,, he now understands more about his actions ,, he has been bumping cushions for approx 3 months now but it became a problem when "that liquid" start to appear ,,, like i said i would want my nuts lopping off and aint gonna do it to mi best mate ...

I ve heard the injection for castration can dramaically alter a dogs temprement ie make them more snarly n agressive as does the monthly tick/flea injection he has , im gonna try to get details from the dog wiperer fella as to be honest i dont want to fall asleep and wake up with Bisto riding me ...... or indeed Dao my missus .

Also a its his birthday thort it would be nice to sort him a date out ,, with a bit of a floosey if posss cos Bisto certainly would shag on the first date .

Thanks again guys ..... its not easy being a dad .. birds n the bees n all that

concerned father

Post by **Aardvark** » June 30, 2012, 12:01 pm

I worry a little what plans you have for your other Boy

Post by **merchant seaman** » June 30, 2012, 2:01 pm

I hope you explained to Bristol that he could go blind!

Post by **poocman** » July 1, 2012, 10:47 am

I read on the other channel that Mr. Saboo has a "GAY" dog...

drop him a line and introduce Bisto to the world of Doggie turd burgling....

Post by **pienmash** » July 1, 2012, 11:27 am

poocman wrote:I read on the other channel that Mr. Saboo has a "GAY" dog... drop him a line and introduce Bisto to the world of Doggie turd burgling....

I dont think at this moment in time Bisto would mind wot gender his "lovepartner" is .... as i type he rattling the living daylights out of a buffal ... soft toy that is not a real one !!.

Acccording to the dog whisperer its a phase gne thru by most dogs as they reach that time of theit lives when the mere sniff of a female sends them crazy ..... (i know a few humans like that ) ..... hethe DW deals with it in a strange way im pleased to say non of which incur my bottom being breached ... actuall in the USA there are places one can take thei beloved pets/dogs to get pampered AND LAID .... according coments made on the DW blog ..... alas this is Thailand so i will carry on my search for Bistos cherry popper ...

Thanks again for youe imput .

I suppose i ill worry more when hes in his teens and wants a motorbike !!

Mash ....... Concerned father

Post by **BigBubba** » July 1, 2012, 12:16 pm

Hello Jon,

We've got a lovely eligible lass, Poodle Shitsu mix (guess that makes her a Poo Shu). She's 1 year old this month. Calm, very sweet disposition, no chilren, no previous suitors (still a virgin). She'll come into her second heat around Sept - Oct. How much sinsod you offering?

$\:D/$

Bubba

Post by **pienmash** » July 1, 2012, 1:57 pm

BigBubba wrote:Hello Jon,

We've got a lovely eligible lass, Poodle Shitsu mix (guess that makes her a Poo Shu). She's 1 year old this month. Calm, very sweet disposition, no chilren, no previous suitors (still a virgin). She'll come into her second heat around Sept - Oct. How much sinsod you offering? $\:D/$

IMG_4269 (640x471).jpg
Bubba

She looks lovely Bubba ,, i darent show Bisto til we agree a sinsod as i know he will be head over heels with lust and rip another cushion to pieces .

Im sure we can "come " to some arrangment .... this may be the start of something big .... plus we could flog the puppies and make afew bucks ..haha.

Btw .. good luck with the restauant sir ,, hearing very ood things about the business ... not easy operating a business in Udonthani i wish tyou all the best for the future. Planning a visit in the next week or so when i get some free time that is .

Mash

Post by **merchant seaman** » July 1, 2012, 7:41 pm

My neighbor has a very cute female Rotweiler. Bring Bristol around.

Post by **pienmash** » July 2, 2012, 3:01 pm

After a few ciders last neet and sleepin very soundly ,,,, i woke up thi morning with a sting sensation in my bottom area ,,, inturn Bisto is swaggering around with a glint in his eye .... i fear the worst but for now im keeping it a secret .

mash ......... SHOULD I GO TO SE A DOCTOR OR A VET ?? .............. or a sykyertrist !!

Post by **Aardvark** » July 2, 2012, 3:12 pm

Was he Smoking a Cigarette