at what stage do you think you are ?

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Re: at what stage do you think you are ?

Post by pf-flyer » January 14, 2017, 2:52 pm

As for sfg's comment "As far as I'm concerned, the major obstacle for us expats is not our inability to communicate in the local language, but rather it is the absolute ignorance and inability of the majority of the locals to reason logically which keeps us out of our posture to be able to deal from a position of strength and be in total control of our circumstances."'re at a major disadvantage of trying to be in total control of your circumstances by living in a developing foreign country.......can't own land, immigration rules, can't speak the language, brain is wired for 120v while the local population is wired for subservience, Buddha and animistic thinking from birth.
Most expats I know here live a pretty contented life........subservient to the things they don't like because they know (and accept) they don't have the power to change them.[/quote]
[quote]subservient to the things they don't like because they know (and accept) they don't have the power to change them[/quote]
I agree 100 %

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Re: at what stage do you think you are ?

Post by trubrit » January 14, 2017, 3:10 pm

Precisely. Pretty futile worrying about something your not able to change isn't it?
Ageing is a privilige denied to many .

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Re: at what stage do you think you are ?

Post by can123 » January 14, 2017, 3:14 pm

Farangs have to be very dim if they cannot pick up sufficient Thai language to get by. It is possible that they are just too lazy to make the necessary effort to learn it.

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Re: at what stage do you think you are ?

Post by felixcat » January 16, 2017, 2:37 pm

Have been watching this thread since it started....its good some are getting things "off their chest" and others are giving feedback on what they do, and how they stay sane or insane.
Myself, a couple "sayings" impressed me many years ago, that helped form my travels and allowed me to go "anywhere" and enjoy with almost anyone in that envirorment.
"You are what you eat".."Garbage in, garbage out" , and "You get what you give".
I "give" and I get.
What is "giving"? Its not "money"
Do you smile at everyone you meet? Do you ever say "thankyou" or "arroy, or arroy, mak mak, or arroy, sap, or sap, sap?
Do you take their hand and touch them, while looking them in the eye and say thankyou?
Have you ever hugged a Thai because they did a "major' to you?
Yeah, we tend to live "in the circles we support".
Have you ever tried to get out of your "safe space" or "think outside of the box"?
OMG, the thai friends I have made, just by saying I love "pet, Pet"......Or Thai food is "the best".
They are not really "jungle people", illiterate, savages, ect. they have been deprived of a better education.
You see, just as "water and money and food" can be used against people as a weapon, so can "education".
Didn't we used to hear years ago that education is a great wealth?
I came here for the ambundance of wonderful foods..what did you come for?

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Re: at what stage do you think you are ?

Post by rick » January 16, 2017, 5:10 pm

A very interesting thread, yes, i had a 'stage one' which still lasted about a year after i moved here. Never really had a stage 3 because i knew about the differences - this is the third foreign country i have lived in so was well aware that life would be different, and my second foreign wife. Also i did a lot of research before even coming to Thailand the first time - enough so i was actually impressed that it wasn't as bad as some said!

So I knew that Thailand wouldn't be the same as UK. Yes year 2 to 3 i started to see the papered over cracks, but it wasn't much to worry me. Now stage 4 except i'm to lazy to integrate well, as languages have always been a problem for me. Is life perfect? No, but where is it? Still love my home country but love Thailand as well.

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Re: at what stage do you think you are ?

Post by luaddaeng » January 17, 2017, 11:49 am

Stage 7 perhaps? Only 3 more left.

I am not retired, and learned to speak, read and write Thai when I got here. I'd already been hanging with locals big time in the mountain jungle but got tired of being wasted on whiskey, motocross, street bike racing, street fights, hunting, gambling, fighting with the girlfriend, breaking up, getting a new one, with whatever mia noi's sweating you for a few hundred baht doing "show number" too much you have to chuck the sim card.

In the party life the women (wives / main girlfriends) would go off and do same gambling partying stuff together near bottom of the mountain and us fellas would be up top. The easier for the lasses to get up to no good down there sneaky like catting about.

Sometimes a week would go by before we broke it up and all went home to the flatlands. And only a week or two before we were all partying again on the hilltop jungle. I remember some of those treacherous rides down the muddy slopes and cannot figure how we all made it down from there time after time.

But drinking and smoking and sitting and talking and joking & listening to music was basically a relentless all day all night thing even around the village home, with very little actual quiet time before someone came puttering down the dirt road to visit. Annoying really because of all the other older people gossip & the kids running amok.

So stage 5 or whatever according to what article kopkei posted. But had to sober up and just move on. Took a while but I got it sorted. Cash ran out to only a hundred k thb in the bank left after just under a million thb on arrival spent over 3 years. Got a broken heart too many times trying to get the lasses I really wanted and broke plenty in return on same of lasses looking to land me.

Finally got it out of my system and straightened up a bit and became a responsible type mate insofar as a man here considers realistic. Found a good one, she put up with a ton of ****, but we had kids and that was it, after second one it was clear she wasn't going anywhere. Just had to tough it out and make it work for the kids' sake much as the miserable old hags in the village hoped otherwise etc.

Moved closer to the big town. I got all the way off the piss and as such learned the real world here is tedious, the public schools are useless, the roads are out of hand, and I now notice more, people really do drop like flies around here. This country is hard on people. Nice if you have a cush pension life and don't get out much. But living the daily grind here it's not for many and it is probably better back home, -or is it. Western lasses a real headache, glad to be far from their braying antagonistic cow herd. I know there's more descriptive that's the short version.

I haven't had a hot shower in many years, and when pulling pants off the clothesline have to chase out the huge wolf spider that always seems to tuck in there. But the stars at night are beautiful as are the women.

A few broken bones and huge cuts aside "no proprem". All that said I DO NOT MISS THE VILLAGE one bit and the wife thinks SAME. So no going back as it were unless the bottom falls out. This town can't seem to decide if it's growing or shrinking and unless you are rich folk good luck making anything other than a subsistence living here.

But the kids are in school and we keep em' out of trouble. As much as can be done at the minute. And really can say if we can get out of here and raise them in a better land I think it would be better than them coming up over here. But where is that?

If we don't blow out of this gyp joint, -my only western request is:

When I kick the can don't put me in the temple bbq, my kids don't need to see that. Just put me in a cemetery so they can visit now and then and remember their real papa, even if it's the replacement papa that drives them there.

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