Consolidated Joke Thread

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747man
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 2, 2019, 1:29 pm

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747man
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 2, 2019, 6:33 pm

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747man
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 2, 2019, 9:50 pm

With the conditions being as awful as they are, I thought I'd visit my 90 year old neighbour and ask if she needed anything from the shop. Turns out she did, so I gave her my list too. There's no point in both of us going out in this weather!

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vidmaster
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » February 2, 2019, 10:20 pm

There is a new anti-depressant for lesbians
It’s called “Tricoxagain”😳😩🧐😉🤓🤓🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 3, 2019, 12:37 am

Thought of the Day.....If you go to bed with an itchy bum you will wake up with a stinky finger!

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 3, 2019, 6:57 pm

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747man
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 3, 2019, 7:06 pm

555 !!
DyerxzUW0AAih3J.jpg

dunroaming
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by dunroaming » February 3, 2019, 7:41 pm

747man wrote:
February 3, 2019, 7:06 pm
555 !!DyerxzUW0AAih3J.jpg
Not funny warped sense of humour, many suffered at his hands

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747man
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 3, 2019, 8:49 pm

dunroaming wrote:
February 3, 2019, 7:41 pm
747man wrote:
February 3, 2019, 7:06 pm
555 !!DyerxzUW0AAih3J.jpg
Not funny warped sense of humour, many suffered at his hands
Copied & Pasted...............Don't Blame Me,Blame the Original Maker of the GIF !!

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by Sateeb » February 3, 2019, 9:13 pm

A medical professor was lecturing his 1st year students about involuntary muscle contractions. To liven up the lesson he asked one of the female students, 'For example, do you know what your arsehole does while you are having an orgasm?'

She replies 'He's at Goodison watching Everton'.
..............................................................

If a long condom goes on a long ***** and a short condom goes on a short *****. What goes on a thick *****?????

An Everton top!!!!!!!!

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747man
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 3, 2019, 11:04 pm

Sateeb wrote:
February 3, 2019, 9:13 pm
A medical professor was lecturing his 1st year students about involuntary muscle contractions. To liven up the lesson he asked one of the female students, 'For example, do you know what your arsehole does while you are having an orgasm?'

She replies 'He's at Goodison watching Everton'.
..............................................................

If a long condom goes on a long ***** and a short condom goes on a short *****. What goes on a thick *****?????

An Everton top!!!!!!!!
555 !! Yer On Form Tonight Ain't Yer ?? Been on The Lao Khao..... :lol: :lol:

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vidmaster
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » February 4, 2019, 6:58 am

After the death of my wife, for nearly a decade I found it impossible to be with another woman.
But now that I am out of prison I can say it was truly worth it 😳🧐😩🤓🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 5, 2019, 12:19 pm

Ode to the Sea

We went down to the seaside
Fishing for some dabs
I met a boy beneath the pier
And all I caught was crabs

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stattointhailand
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by stattointhailand » February 5, 2019, 12:21 pm

I must go down to the sea again
To the wonderful sea and sky
I left my vest and pants there
I wonder if their dry

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » February 5, 2019, 12:39 pm

Jean and Joe go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and decide to order the chicken surprise
When it arrives the waiter leaves the pot in the middle of the table and as he leaves, the lid of the pot lifts up and a pair of eyes looks around and then the lid slams shut
Jean asks Joe did you see that, no he replies
So Jane asks Joe to look inside the pot. As he lifts the lid up, a pair of eyes looks around the room again
So Joe calls the waiter over and demands an explanation
The nervous waiter asks “what you order?”
Joe says the chicken surprise
The nervous waiter says “solly sir you got the wrong order, this is peeking duck”!😳😩🧐🤓🤓🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by stattointhailand » February 5, 2019, 3:23 pm

Think I have now seen that same joke on Udonmap more times than I have heard Hotel California played in Day & Night ](*,)

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747man
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 5, 2019, 3:43 pm

stattointhailand wrote:
February 5, 2019, 3:23 pm
Think I have now seen that same joke on Udonmap more times than I have heard Hotel California played in Day & Night ](*,)
Well I Did tell him a few weeks ago, NOT to give his Day Job Up,He just said it was Too late for that,He already had !!

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by stattointhailand » February 5, 2019, 4:26 pm

Problem is, his day job is in the recycling factory :-&

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 6, 2019, 12:37 pm

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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » February 6, 2019, 12:38 pm

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