dragonz wrote: ↑

April 19, 2019, 3:27 pm

I have got rid of the thoms . A bucket of water over the three of them in bed and a lot of shouting did the trick but my wife is not happy . Glat you are right i will be looking for an apartment for a month with the kids , perhaps ruy suk 2 or bb resort with swimming pool , then look for something relatively cheap near christian school . Can do as i get my visa on 28 april and dont have to keep the money in the bank just would be a lot easier if got even a few thousand baht a month from their parents .
I know i made a rod for my own back but it sort of crept up on me bit more every month but the fact is i have 2 lovely little boys who do not want to go with anyone else who i love very much and now have no choice but to look after them come what may
. Hoopoe , "post for all to see "was when i posted after i threw the thoms out (i did not know they were not coming back then ) they took the boys out in the car , my wife went after them and i was alone in the house feeling pretty low so i wrote the post thinking a problem shared etc

Dragonz ,
well isnt this a turn up for the books , I have only just seen this, something fishy has gone on with the dates of the post's ,
Congratulations , no one could be more pleased than i , anything i posted was as i see things in reality ,i do not dress things up,some like me for it some hate me for it ,
I also have brought up 2 boy's ,but wasn't in the enviable position of you ( sounds bad don't it ,wait ) you have had them from being babies , therefore (enviable position ) taught right from wrong , politeness , i don't need to go on and on , i on the other hand became the step father at the age your 2 boys are now ,the eldest was great ,(ish he had ways of extracting money from his mother) no other problems , BUT the youngest was wild as hell ,he finally after many many problems left school at 11 , his mother (still my wife happily married all this time ) undermined anything i said to him or did ,So i gave her the reign's with the words get on with it , when you can't sort the problem out then ask me ( but get out of the way )by this time there were drugs underage sex etc etc, the amount of times i've spent in the police station's (note plural) unreal ,( by the by just as a note for all to see , the under age sex ,she was 16 he was 17 , into the police station again (udon this time )the family (her ) agreed on 10,000 bht and they wont press charges, ha ha beggers belief , good job i stayed in the truck (they hadn't seen me ) it would have been at least double ,
So wife comes to me ,now i take charge ,i closed every bolt hole he had ,i went round to every house (familys inlaws out laws the lot ) they at last listened , so now nowhere to go he comes home ,high as a kite ,, i wait till all is good ,then wait for the lies ,and physically booted him down the street ,Theres a lot more than this but i'll stop here ,
by the way it gets more costly as you put them through uni ,
Wishing you well for the future , i think the misses may change now

Hoopoe wrote: ↑

April 21, 2019, 11:03 pm

dragonz wrote: ↑

April 19, 2019, 3:27 pm

I have got rid of the thoms . A bucket of water over the three of them in bed and a lot of shouting did the trick but my wife is not happy . Glat you are right i will be looking for an apartment for a month with the kids , perhaps ruy suk 2 or bb resort with swimming pool , then look for something relatively cheap near christian school . Can do as i get my visa on 28 april and dont have to keep the money in the bank just would be a lot easier if got even a few thousand baht a month from their parents .
I know i made a rod for my own back but it sort of crept up on me bit more every month but the fact is i have 2 lovely little boys who do not want to go with anyone else who i love very much and now have no choice but to look after them come what may
. Hoopoe , "post for all to see "was when i posted after i threw the thoms out (i did not know they were not coming back then ) they took the boys out in the car , my wife went after them and i was alone in the house feeling pretty low so i wrote the post thinking a problem shared etc

Dragonz ,
well isnt this a turn up for the books , I have only just seen this, something fishy has gone on with the dates of the post's ,
Congratulations , no one could be more pleased than i , anything i posted was as i see things in reality ,i do not dress things up,some like me for it some hate me for it ,
I also have brought up 2 boy's ,but wasn't in the enviable position of you ( sounds bad don't it ,wait ) you have had them from being babies , therefore (enviable position ) taught right from wrong , politeness , i don't need to go on and on , i on the other hand became the step father at the age your 2 boys are now ,the eldest was great ,(ish he had ways of extracting money from his mother) no other problems , BUT the youngest was wild as hell ,he finally after many many problems left school at 11 , his mother (still my wife happily married all this time ) undermined anything i said to him or did ,So i gave her the reign's with the words get on with it , when you can't sort the problem out then ask me ( but get out of the way )by this time there were drugs underage sex etc etc, the amount of times i've spent in the police station's (note plural) unreal ,( by the by just as a note for all to see , the under age sex ,she was 16 he was 17 , into the police station again (udon this time )the family (her ) agreed on 10,000 bht and they wont press charges, ha ha beggers belief , good job i stayed in the truck (they hadn't seen me ) it would have been at least double ,
So wife comes to me ,now i take charge ,i closed every bolt hole he had ,i went round to every house (familys inlaws out laws the lot ) they at last listened , so now nowhere to go he comes home ,high as a kite ,, i wait till all is good ,then wait for the lies ,and physically booted him down the street ,Theres a lot more than this but i'll stop here ,
by the way it gets more costly as you put them through uni ,
Wishing you well for the future , i think the misses may change now

Yes i have brought my boys up and they are good as gold , excellent behaved , polite never cry never hurt animals not even spiders . Never hit another child ever but my wifes still says i am wrong in everything i do . Her one daughter is the thom i have mentioned , her son is even worse . PAID 40,000 baht for him to join the border patrol in nong khai after 10 yrs of not working , good job decent money , free keep and 15,000 baht a month . He married a nice girl from sakhon nakhon , had 2 kids , built a house with a noodle shop attached , gave him 4 tv`s and play stations from my old cafe . 1 yr later left her came home with young mia noi who stayed for 6 weeks then left . He wanted to go back home wife said no so he went on the whisky and drugs instead . Could not get a girl so started bringing men home same as his sister . Was screwing men 10 metres from me . used to make me sick ,4 yrs of ---- fighting with his drunk friends coming to my house in the middle of the night , beat him a few times even though a lot bigger than me fought like a girl . He went to taiwan a few months ago then his sister took over . They came back today and she look really rough and sick . Dont know waht she is doing but hiv looks likely as i know she has been selling herself but everytime i correct or scold my boys my wife is angry but i just point out what her kids are like.
A bit late reading this as just spent a night at nakha buri resort . Very cheap at the moment at 600 baht on agoda instead of 900 . cost 200 baht a day to swim so swim for 2 days have a room and free breakfast for 600 very god . booked again next weekend . Just me and the boys , no wife

PM sent ,

I predict you will be divorced in the not too distant future...you behavior is far too confrontational with all your in-law family. End of the day they are not "your boys" as you put it....you have no rights.

Pooclover wrote: ↑

April 24, 2019, 3:29 pm

I predict you will be divorced in the not too distant future...you behavior is far too confrontational with all your in-law family. End of the day they are not "your boys" as you put it....you have no rights.

Completely wrong . they are not in laws they are son and daughter . I am not confrontational . Her son is an acloholic drug addict who has crashed 2 motorbikes while drunk and last year hit a car in nakha with a pickup when he was on the lao kow hurt some people and drove off . never got caught
The last time we had a go was when i was in the house alone with the boys and i went to the toilet . When i came out the then 2 yr old was nowhere to be seen . this was at night and 10 mins before a drunk guy came to the house asking for money for whisky . I was panicking , could not find him ,wife never answer the phone , went to the local police but nobody there after about 25 mins her son drove into the house on his bike with the little boy . He was very drunk and falling over . I shouted at him and he laughed so i hit him . 10 mins later he came at me with a machette so i pepper sprayed him .What would you have done ???drunk on whisky driving around at night with a 2 yr old . SOME COUNTRIES THAT WOULD BE JAIL TIME !!!! My wife and family were angry with me because i sprayed him but not angry with him as he did not have an accident .
The end of the day it is night . stupid saying
They are not my boys , what rights do i need ? youagain you are a little dense on understanding . I WANT THEIR PARENTS TO LOOK AFTER THEM !!! They do not want them and the boys do not want to go with them . When their father was here and came home from work he would walk right passed them never say hello no hugs or smiles and very rarely talked to them .
I look after them as i am all they have . I f there was another relative nearby who was good and clean they could look after them . They have 2 choices . live with me or back up with the hill tribes in sukothai .
Their mother came home a few days ago after being away for 5 days . Little boy went to see her , 20 mins back with me . She took him to sleep with her and was knocking on my widow at 11 pm as the boy was crying for me .
might be a bit complicated for you but all i want is for the parents to properly look after the boys or pay some money monthly for me to look after

Well i thought all the problems were over . The thoms were in udon visit now and then . boys now 5 and 12 and 5 yr old starting udon christian school 12 yr old starting new school and suddenly i am told the father is coming next week to see them .
This is the father who never paid 1 baht in the whole of their lives for them , left about 3 years ago , went to taiwan , never spoke to them or sent any money .Used to beat the oldest boy . I have paid for them cleaned them clothed them and today he phoned them but they not want to speak to him so my wife and her daughter shout at me for not letting them ???!!
The 12 yr old barley remembers him and the 5 yr old has no idea who he is , still owes me 30,000 baht from the money i lent him to go to taiwan but is still the guy above me .
My boys do not want to see him even though i tell them it is ok. My wife and daughter say that if they will not see him he will take them away with him as he can do !!!??
I am not surer what he can do under the law as my wife is old fashioned and still think the old rules apply but i am not sleeping now worrying .
Not contact them or pay anything for their keep and just wants to turn up out of the blue over songrang and my wife and their mother think its ok ?

dragonz wrote: ↑

April 8, 2021, 8:14 pm

Well i thought all the problems were over . The thoms were in udon visit now and then . boys now 5 and 12 and 5 yr old starting udon christian school 12 yr old starting new school and suddenly i am told the father is coming next week to see them .
This is the father who never paid 1 baht in the whole of their lives for them , left about 3 years ago , went to taiwan , never spoke to them or sent any money .Used to beat the oldest boy . I have paid for them cleaned them clothed them and today he phoned them but they not want to speak to him so my wife and her daughter shout at me for not letting them ???!!
The 12 yr old barley remembers him and the 5 yr old has no idea who he is , still owes me 30,000 baht from the money i lent him to go to taiwan but is still the guy above me .
My boys do not want to see him even though i tell them it is ok. My wife and daughter say that if they will not see him he will take them away with him as he can do !!!??
I am not surer what he can do under the law as my wife is old fashioned and still think the old rules apply but i am not sleeping now worrying .
Not contact them or pay anything for their keep and just wants to turn up out of the blue over songrang and my wife and their mother think its ok ?

Have you taken any steps in the past two years to legalize any claim to being the boy's legal guardian?

I concur suggest legal advice at least have the children made a Ward of the Court, which would ensure their location etc

I don't think you have a serious problem. It's the Thai way to off load their siblings so they can be free and have no responsabilities.
Let him see his children but don't let them out of your sight. When he realises the boys dont want him he will probably be very embarassed and go away.

We have had first hand experience of a similar situation.
Good luck. Your concern for the boys is understandable.

Dragonz, good for you for caring so much. My suggestion is, you are not in your home country, so trying to change a Thai to think like us is a fruitless waste of effort. In these circumstance you have little choice but to let things happen the way Thai people choose. Make sure your wallet is secure in your pants, grin and bear it.

dragonz wrote: ↑

April 8, 2021, 8:14 pm

Well i thought all the problems were over . The thoms were in udon visit now and then . boys now 5 and 12 and 5 yr old starting udon christian school 12 yr old starting new school and suddenly i am told the father is coming next week to see them .
This is the father who never paid 1 baht in the whole of their lives for them , left about 3 years ago , went to taiwan , never spoke to them or sent any money .Used to beat the oldest boy . I have paid for them cleaned them clothed them and today he phoned them but they not want to speak to him so my wife and her daughter shout at me for not letting them ???!!
The 12 yr old barley remembers him and the 5 yr old has no idea who he is , still owes me 30,000 baht from the money i lent him to go to taiwan but is still the guy above me .
My boys do not want to see him even though i tell them it is ok. My wife and daughter say that if they will not see him he will take them away with him as he can do !!!??
I am not surer what he can do under the law as my wife is old fashioned and still think the old rules apply but i am not sleeping now worrying .
Not contact them or pay anything for their keep and just wants to turn up out of the blue over songrang and my wife and their mother think its ok ?

I feel sorry for you but doesn't only happen in Thailand. Best option get a mediator involved as from what you have written you are not getting support from anyone and with Thai laws being complex you need a shoulder you can trust and lean on - good luck

sorry guys late reply had a really hard day yesterday . He says he is coming in 14 april to take the 5 yr old back to live with him .went to lawyer , police yesterday and all seem to say father has the right to do this .It did not help that my wife and their mother do not want them, and seem very weak
It all stems from me looking after them 24/7 and paying for everything with no help and every time i complain TO my wife and their mother about giving me some help they say if i not want to look after them they will send them to their father . Do they tell their father i complain about looking after them which is bs just sometimes i would like a day off.
A few days ago the daughter came into my bedroom with a video link to the father and i shouted at her to get out so
they told the father i would not let the children talk to him. The fact was i was in my underwear and did not want to be on a video link with his family perhaps watching .Hew never phones them ever in over 3 years .
These kids are now my children .I love them and they love me and do not want to leave . the 5 yr old does not even remember him and he dotes on me . Drives me crazy sometimes . Follows me every where .Wears the same colour shoes as me . If i go to the loo he waits outside for me . if i make a coffee he waits in the kitchen for me . I think he is scared as he knows his parents do not love him and i am the only person he has .

Hi dragonz

Wee Jimmy is correct, let him see the children. The reality is that as a Farang, with no blood ties to the Children (in this case), you have no legal right to stop the Father from seeing his children, no matter how much of a C..t he may be. So let his visit run its course.

Can I ask, where is the mother of the two boys, in this situation.

Under Thai law, the Father retains legal rights over his children, in most cases, even after the Divorce from the Mother, unless during the divorce preceding's, the Mother has obtained sole custody rights from the Thai Court, as part of the divorce process. Which many divorced Thai Mothers, do not bother to do.

You may find that the Mother will have the Divorce Paper/Document, but not a ruling from the Court giving her sole custody of the Children, which is a separate Document attachment to that of the actual Divorce Paper. This separate Document will state whether custody of the Children rests with the Father or the Mother. Again, assuming that the Mother did go through the Court process for a Divorce.

As a Farang, looking to adopt two children (in Thailand) where you have no blood ties, with the Children's biological Father still being alive and with him wanting to take custody of the two Children, you have absolutely no chance of the Thai Court system awarding you Guardianship over him. No matter how good of character or how financially sound you may be, compared to him. I am not speculating on this matter.

What I would suggest is that, from time to time, the Father will reappear on the scene, at the Mothers or Grandparents place (whoever is taking care of those he opted to discard). His appearance in not necessarily because he is interested in the Children, but because he looks at you, as a Farang and sees the possibility of a Pay Check.

pipoz4444

HI Dragonz
2 years has passed , it never ends , when your a step father or looking after others children , Especially in this country ,and yep can see the father (if there's been no custodial court ruling ,which i highly doubt in this case as most on divorce ,don't apply for a ruling ) has all the rights , so as some have said keep it sweet allow the visits (even if your boiling inside ) i've seen this a few times and on each case eventually the kids are home to roost so to say ,one of my nieces point blank refused to see her wayward father ,whilst the other saw him but then realised "what for " ,
the saga of my stepsons continues to this day , the eldest lives in BKK ,fully and more so employed as is his wife , they have two daughters ,they'll be here for songkran , great to see them ,
the youngest (which is really what im trying to get at ) resides in the prison (after an accidental head butt 555) for more disruption to all the family , i sat him down explaining thats the last time i do anything ,,,,he understood ,,,but carried on till he got busted for pushing yabba ,the BIB came for the bribes x3 then realised they were getting fck all ,the stepson and his girlfriend will be released in 18 months having already done 7 months ,
now this is the part that may interest you , i keep the door open for both of them , BUT it is my house (albeit in the wifes name ) MY RULES , and that is the very reason they didn't live with us prior to his arrest , they both know under no circumstances are there any other rules ,

I respect what you're doing dragonz. Hang in there. Many Thai families are a challenge. Mine is too but they're less of a challenge than what you're facing.

[Redacted by Moderators] They were never married as the family refused to pay the 100,000 baht dowry . This guy used to beat her giving her lots of bruises etc and beat the little boy with bamboo when he was 3 yrs old . hit him for crying in the night , was a nasty piece of work .At the time when he worked he would never gave her any money saying is up to her to get money for food etc his money belonged to him .
I said about when the oldest boy was 10 months old they took him to sukhothai and payed a vey old woman to look after him so me and my wife went to look and found him lying in pee and excreta covered in ant /mosquito bites and wasp stings , took him home and tried hard to keep him alive for a few years and succeeded but a few close calls including mouth to mouth one night . His home is in the hills , filthy dirty no aircon , no beds ,no internet , no clean water . This is where he wants to take him to now and i will have to make the oldest boy go with him to look after him .
I worked out i paid about 1 million baht looking after them but it was worth it to see them happy . He would never pay a baht even though i lend him 80,000 baht to go to taiwan to send money home . he paid me about 50,000 baht then stopped and never sent 1 baht for his kids .
The last 2 years were really hard for me as my savings had gone and i was living on 30,,000 bahts a moth and only just made my visa last year with 408,000 in the bank . got a new pension this year so no problems now.
Just registered them for their new schools and they are so happy and this exceuse for a human being wants to take them away not because he loves them but because he can.
These kids are so polite and nice ,both speak good english just very nice boys not the same as normal thai kids , i will be devastated if the are take and will probably do something dumb i kinw
Photo is of them i think nov 2019 at the airport when we last went on holiday to the beach in rayong