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To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 5:32 am
by maaka
I told my missus once, that when I get old and the light at the end of the tunnel is staring me full in the face, that I would head back home to NZ to die, and be buried there with my ancestors. She didnt take to kindly to that. Couldnt understand it, and in some ways I couldnt either..I guess being torched and stuck in a foreign / remote village forest with all her ancestors, didnt sit easy with me...do we that have settled in Thaiiland all come to this question, and decision?

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 5:49 am
by Hoopoe
Maaka , not for me ,i've already made the decision , here i am here i'll stay ( so long as the visa requirements don't get impossible ) i will be cremated here , it's also written into the wills i've left ,i have no desire , to cause problems for people on repatriation , and the upheaval it would cause , all my living relatives have been informed of my wishes , i'm one of those that believe the body is only a vehicle & the spirit (wot ever you wish to call it ) has moved on or at least died with the body ,so being in a foreign country (i call this home ,) from birth has no consequence for me

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 6:05 am
by pf-flyer
maaka wrote:
February 9, 2018, 5:32 am
I told my missus once, that when I get old and the light at the end of the tunnel is staring me full in the face, that I would head back home to NZ to die, and be buried there with my ancestors. She didnt take to kindly to that. Couldnt understand it, and in some ways I couldnt either..I guess being torched and stuck in a foreign / remote village forest with all her ancestors, didnt sit easy with me...do we that have settled in Thaiiland all come to this question, and decision?
Yes... I think about it often. We have Children and grandchildren back in the U.S. I think about what their response would be. I have attended enough village funerals to realize that while I will be laying in a refrigerated cooler there will be a lot of drinking, loud music with dancers and gambling going on. Is not appealing to me. I love my Thai wife more than anything in this world and I need to remember that she grew up in this culture and I do not want to be apart from her. We want to be buried together. Some of life's questions do not have an easy answer.

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 6:06 am
by maaka
thanks for sharing thoughts

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 1:58 pm
by LoneTraveler
I gave it some thought about returning to the US if I had the heads up about the dying process however, my Thai wife insists I be cremated in the village Buddhists Temple, I relinquished. My concern is the cost of the whole affair. I told her I want everything done in 1 day, barbecue and all. I do not want her to spend such a large amount just to satisfy her relatives and friends, so they can eat and get drunk and keep the entire village from sleeping for 3 or 4 days. She says she has to spend at least 100000 Baht but more than likely, a lot more. Therefore, my wishes for her future and well being in monetary terms, will be diminished to save face. Therefore, a portion of the the money designated for her future well-being, will be spent within 2 or 3 days (instead of at least 2 years,) on tradition. However, I do understand how important this event is to her future standing among family and friends. I do not want her to be shamed as being cheap by Thai standards.

And what really bothers me is there are only certains days within a week where you can proceed to the temple. So if you die on a Saturday, they may not do the cremation until tuesday. So this gives the family and friends and alerts anyone who hears music that the party is ongoing until your remains are placed in the back of a pick-up truck and the funeral procession takes place. Hopefully, (determined by my believes about the great beyond) I won't have to listen to that dreadful music while laying in my refrigerated lodging for 2 to 4 days.

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 2:48 pm
by joepai
Personally I can see no reason to cart my corpse back to the other side of the world - when I am dead I am dead so it makes no difference where I'm cremated

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 4:11 pm
by parrot
Generally speaking, temples don't do cremations on Buddhist days as shown in the link below......Beyond that, temples will cater to your desires assuming there's not a conflict with other funerals.

http://methika.com/observance/buddhist- ... atha-days/

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 4:39 pm
by stattointhailand
Having seen the state of some of the international packages when they get here, I have absolutely no desire to be sent Air Freight to anywhere after I pop me clogs

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 5:44 pm
by fatbob
I couldn't bear to have my ashes placed in a temple just in case, imagine spending eternity with a pack of pi--ed out lao khao heads,,,, first choice is to have my ashes scattered in the ocean, second is the Mekong.

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 5:49 pm
by hairyharry
burnt here then my ashes spread on a deep dark night over my ex's spirit house

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 6:23 pm
by christian_2013
LoneTraveler wrote:
February 9, 2018, 1:58 pm
I gave it some thought about returning to the US if I had the heads up about the dying process however, my Thai wife insists I be cremated in the village Buddhists Temple, I relinquished. My concern is the cost of the whole affair. I told her I want everything done in 1 day, barbecue and all. I do not want her to spend such a large amount just to satisfy her relatives and friends, so they can eat and get drunk and keep the entire village from sleeping for 3 or 4 days. She says she has to spend at least 100000 Baht but more than likely, a lot more. Therefore, my wishes for her future and well being in monetary terms, will be diminished to save face. Therefore, a portion of the the money designated for her future well-being, will be spent within 2 or 3 days (instead of at least 2 years,) on tradition. However, I do understand how important this event is to her future standing among family and friends. I do not want her to be shamed as being cheap by Thai standards.

And what really bothers me is there are only certains days within a week where you can proceed to the temple. So if you die on a Saturday, they may not do the cremation until tuesday. So this gives the family and friends and alerts anyone who hears music that the party is ongoing until your remains are placed in the back of a pick-up truck and the funeral procession takes place. Hopefully, (determined by my believes about the great beyond) I won't have to listen to that dreadful music while laying in my refrigerated lodging for 2 to 4 days.
LoneTraveler I can understand your concerns and your love for your wife and the future monetary wellbeing of your wife when you are no longer around.
But maybe you are not understanding her culture and how they look at death, which is quite different to how we are bought up to fear death, they don't. From my understanding of the Thai funerals I have been to unlike western funerals being a pretty morbid experience, the Thai funeral is a celebration of one's life not death and the whole experience of the Buddhist culture to me is one of merit making to get to the next life, regardless of what we might think, unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it, how your life is celebrated when you pass by your wife has very little to do with you and putting a monetary value on it as often men do could be insulting to her as she would like to celebrate your life culturally on how she was bought up in her faith from birth.
Personally I would not worry about the monetary side of things, money is not a celebration of one's life, it's only a piece of paper that burns quicker than you will at the Temple. And the music how can you awaken the spirits to guide you to the next life, maybe thats why they play that music so the spirits are awakened and they say jobs on we need to help LoneTraveler through the door. I am not religious but if that is ones's faith then who am my to question it.
Myself if my wife wants to blow money on celebrating my life then so be it, that will mean no change from when I was in the land of the living. :shock:

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 6:56 pm
by FrazeeDK
told the wife, Hell yes, have a party to end all parties. Have a marching band trooping around the village at 2-3AM to pay back these indolent drunks who've kept me awake innumerable times for wedding, funeral, or remembrance parties.. Have big meals during the party days but no flippin' booze!

As for Christian's take on the Thai funerary culture.. Nah, my observation is most folks come to the party to get free food and booze.. Yes, some come and help or come to pay their honest respects but most are there for free stuff..

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 7:09 pm
by parrot
FrazeeDK wrote:
February 9, 2018, 6:56 pm
told the wife, Hell yes, have a party to end all parties. Have a marching band trooping around the village at 2-3AM to pay back these indolent drunks who've kept me awake innumerable times for wedding, funeral, or remembrance parties.. Have big meals during the party days but no flippin' booze!

As for Christian's take on the Thai funerary culture.. Nah, my observation is most folks come to the party to get free food and booze.. Yes, some come and help or come to pay their honest respects but most are there for free stuff..
And many surf the funeral circuit to take advantage of 'legalized gambling'.

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 9, 2018, 8:27 pm
by Barney
It was mentioned that we are bought up to fear death. WTF. I was bought with no thought about death at all.
I do not fear death, just wish I could live forever.
Religious types are bought up to fear death, so no religion no fear for me.
They will burn me at the temple in Thailand and wave me off to the next life, the missus tells me jokingly that she will be next to me for ever once she goes, because she wants us to be together for ever. :roll: :-"
Maybe half of me will next to her. I have 2 sons together buried at the cemetery at home, so I would like half my ashes to be placed with them in Sydney, purely symbolic. The son I have left can just visit the one place.

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 10, 2018, 6:08 am
by Marcosteffano
Nice to see some people have organised their own death wishes.ill start looking into it it in 30 years time thanks.

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 10, 2018, 4:48 pm
by LoneTraveler
christian_2013 wrote:
February 9, 2018, 6:23 pm
LoneTraveler wrote:
February 9, 2018, 1:58 pm
I gave it some thought about returning to the US if I had the heads up about the dying process however, my Thai wife insists I be cremated in the village Buddhists Temple, I relinquished. My concern is the cost of the whole affair. I told her I want everything done in 1 day, barbecue and all. I do not want her to spend such a large amount just to satisfy her relatives and friends, so they can eat and get drunk and keep the entire village from sleeping for 3 or 4 days. She says she has to spend at least 100000 Baht but more than likely, a lot more. Therefore, my wishes for her future and well being in monetary terms, will be diminished to save face. Therefore, a portion of the the money designated for her future well-being, will be spent within 2 or 3 days (instead of at least 2 years,) on tradition. However, I do understand how important this event is to her future standing among family and friends. I do not want her to be shamed as being cheap by Thai standards.

And what really bothers me is there are only certains days within a week where you can proceed to the temple. So if you die on a Saturday, they may not do the cremation until tuesday. So this gives the family and friends and alerts anyone who hears music that the party is ongoing until your remains are placed in the back of a pick-up truck and the funeral procession takes place. Hopefully, (determined by my believes about the great beyond) I won't have to listen to that dreadful music while laying in my refrigerated lodging for 2 to 4 days.
LoneTraveler I can understand your concerns and your love for your wife and the future monetary wellbeing of your wife when you are no longer around.
But maybe you are not understanding her culture and how they look at death, which is quite different to how we are bought up to fear death, they don't. From my understanding of the Thai funerals I have been to unlike western funerals being a pretty morbid experience, the Thai funeral is a celebration of one's life not death and the whole experience of the Buddhist culture to me is one of merit making to get to the next life, regardless of what we might think, unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it, how your life is celebrated when you pass by your wife has very little to do with you and putting a monetary value on it as often men do could be insulting to her as she would like to celebrate your life culturally on how she was bought up in her faith from birth.
Personally I would not worry about the monetary side of things, money is not a celebration of one's life, it's only a piece of paper that burns quicker than you will at the Temple. And the music how can you awaken the spirits to guide you to the next life, maybe thats why they play that music so the spirits are awakened and they say jobs on we need to help LoneTraveler through the door. I am not religious but if that is ones's faith then who am my to question it.
Myself if my wife wants to blow money on celebrating my life then so be it, that will mean no change from when I was in the land of the living. :shock:
My point is that I prefer she use the money for monthly bills and food for family and medical and dental expenses. I have been giving her a monthly sum to take care of all this over the past ten years. I have built a house for us and our daughter and one for her parents on the same property. I want her to be able to pay the bills and not have to eat dirt or the dreadful chickens, rats and snakes, that roam the property. She has a car and a new motorbike which I hope she can maintain and not have to sell because she went beyond the amount I put in Bank for cremation party.

I agree with most of what you said here but I don't agree with the money be damned because of her Buddhist believes. And I know she has strong feelings about her Buddhist beliefs but it will not pay the bills, feed the family or pay for health and dental. She is now undergoing expensive dental care, I would hate to see this end.

And as another member stated here, I too have a son buried in a plot I purchased for my family back in the US and it would be a comfort to be with him but my Thai wife takes precedence at this point in my life. I just want her to be able to afford her current lifestyle for at least 3 years. Then she can take her time finding a job that will at least help her pay the bills, or a new boyfriend or husband who will carry on for her. She just turned 32 and we have a 10 year old daughter. She cannot understand why I am so concerned about her future. Her response is mia pen ria. I guess I will have to live with that, perhaps I am just paranoid. Who knows I may live for another 20 to 30 years which will make me a very very old man.

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 10, 2018, 5:34 pm
by fatbob
LoneTraveler wrote:
February 10, 2018, 4:48 pm
christian_2013 wrote:
February 9, 2018, 6:23 pm
LoneTraveler wrote:
February 9, 2018, 1:58 pm
I gave it some thought about returning to the US if I had the heads up about the dying process however, my Thai wife insists I be cremated in the village Buddhists Temple, I relinquished. My concern is the cost of the whole affair. I told her I want everything done in 1 day, barbecue and all. I do not want her to spend such a large amount just to satisfy her relatives and friends, so they can eat and get drunk and keep the entire village from sleeping for 3 or 4 days. She says she has to spend at least 100000 Baht but more than likely, a lot more. Therefore, my wishes for her future and well being in monetary terms, will be diminished to save face. Therefore, a portion of the the money designated for her future well-being, will be spent within 2 or 3 days (instead of at least 2 years,) on tradition. However, I do understand how important this event is to her future standing among family and friends. I do not want her to be shamed as being cheap by Thai standards.

And what really bothers me is there are only certains days within a week where you can proceed to the temple. So if you die on a Saturday, they may not do the cremation until tuesday. So this gives the family and friends and alerts anyone who hears music that the party is ongoing until your remains are placed in the back of a pick-up truck and the funeral procession takes place. Hopefully, (determined by my believes about the great beyond) I won't have to listen to that dreadful music while laying in my refrigerated lodging for 2 to 4 days.
LoneTraveler I can understand your concerns and your love for your wife and the future monetary wellbeing of your wife when you are no longer around.
But maybe you are not understanding her culture and how they look at death, which is quite different to how we are bought up to fear death, they don't. From my understanding of the Thai funerals I have been to unlike western funerals being a pretty morbid experience, the Thai funeral is a celebration of one's life not death and the whole experience of the Buddhist culture to me is one of merit making to get to the next life, regardless of what we might think, unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it, how your life is celebrated when you pass by your wife has very little to do with you and putting a monetary value on it as often men do could be insulting to her as she would like to celebrate your life culturally on how she was bought up in her faith from birth.
Personally I would not worry about the monetary side of things, money is not a celebration of one's life, it's only a piece of paper that burns quicker than you will at the Temple. And the music how can you awaken the spirits to guide you to the next life, maybe thats why they play that music so the spirits are awakened and they say jobs on we need to help LoneTraveler through the door. I am not religious but if that is ones's faith then who am my to question it.
Myself if my wife wants to blow money on celebrating my life then so be it, that will mean no change from when I was in the land of the living. :shock:
My point is that I prefer she use the money for monthly bills and food for family and medical and dental expenses. I have been giving her a monthly sum to take care of all this over the past ten years. I have built a house for us and our daughter and one for her parents on the same property. I want her to be able to pay the bills and not have to eat dirt or the dreadful chickens, rats and snakes, that roam the property. She has a car and a new motorbike which I hope she can maintain and not have to sell because she went beyond the amount I put in Bank for cremation party.

I agree with most of what you said here but I don't agree with the money be damned because of her Buddhist believes. And I know she has strong feelings about her Buddhist beliefs but it will not pay the bills, feed the family or pay for health and dental. She is now undergoing expensive dental care, I would hate to see this end.

And as another member stated here, I too have a son buried in a plot I purchased for my family back in the US and it would be a comfort to be with him but my Thai wife takes precedence at this point in my life. I just want her to be able to afford her current lifestyle for at least 3 years. Then she can take her time finding a job that will at least help her pay the bills, or a new boyfriend or husband who will carry on for her. She just turned 32 and we have a 10 year old daughter. She cannot understand why I am so concerned about her future. Her response is mia pen ria. I guess I will have to live with that, perhaps I am just paranoid. Who knows I may live for another 20 to 30 years which will make me a very very old man.

F me, when your dead your dead, what will be will be, what a laugh...

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 10, 2018, 7:24 pm
by glalt
I live here and I'll die here. I told my wife that when I go, I don't want any fuss and no party. I was told to just shut my mouth because she didn't want to talk about it. I told her that I'd like my ashes in the Gulf of Thailand. I told her to take then to my condo and flush them down the toilet and they would get there. She wasn't amused, she then told me that it was not up to me about a funeral. It is up to her. Actually I will be dead and I don't care one way or another.

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 10, 2018, 8:12 pm
by Doodoo
Great idea Glalt
I had similar thoughts back home and asked my children to put me into Lake Huron via the Head, La Toilette, Lough etc.

Now I asked the TWF to just put me in anyone of my empty coffee jars I keep and place me in the living room on a shelf, so I could keep an eye on proceedings. Of course we all know the answer!!!!!

Re: To die in Thailand?

Posted: February 10, 2018, 8:26 pm
by parrot
Doodoo wrote:
February 10, 2018, 8:12 pm
Great idea Glalt
I had similar thoughts back home and asked my children to put me into Lake Huron via the Head, La Toilette, Lough etc.

Now I asked the TWF to just put me in anyone of my empty coffee jars I keep and place me in the living room on a shelf, so I could keep an eye on proceedings. Of course we all know the answer!!!!!
Years ago on a visit to the temple next to Ban Chiang museum, I noticed that the urns in the pillars surrounding the temple were identical. Nescafe Gold jars......Every one!