Udon Thani Thailand Forum - Udon Thani, Thailand

Bit hard to explain this one . Had lots of problems with my wife`s son and daughter but son now in korea working , one problem solved.
Wife`s daughter run off with a lad 10 yrs ago and had a kid which she then dumped on me and run off to bkk . Came back with husband 3 yrs later to the old house next to mine .Little boy wanted to stay with me which he did . husband never worked much but the used to feed him and give him money sometimes but i paid for almost everything for 9 yrs . 3 yrs ago had another boy again dumped on me while she went to play with farangs in pattaya . Her husban borrowed 80,000 baht from me to go to work in taiwan . so far in 13 months has paid 48,000 baht back but sent nothing to his 2 boys.
I am now very short on money after looking after 2 boys on my pension . Their mother is home now with her thom gf who is now living with her 10 metres from me and sometimes like today she has 2/3 woemn in her bed in front of her kids .
She will do nothing for her children as today she and her thoms eating food while i wash her boys clothes and hang the washing on the line .
I cook for them , get up to take them to school while she is in bed with her thom . She will pay nothing for their keep .
I have paid for them all their lives as she had no money but now she has bought a new car , new motorbike and her thom has a big new bike while still refusing to pay anything or do any looking after for her boys .
I have no car but a tuk tuk which needs repair but cannot afford to repair it while looking after her boys who i love very much as i have had both of them since they were born
My wife is a teacher and earns 35,000 baht a month but is all spent on hospital insurances for her 30yr old son and 28 yr old daughter and some insurances i do not understand plus lottery and card playing so in 10 yrs have seen little of her wages .
Today i shout at her daughter and the 3 thoms who came out of her bedroom but my wife is angry with me ??? It seems that she thinks i should look after the kids . My wife does nothing . I cleant the house wash all the cloths put gasoline in all the vehicles etc .
I cannot just leave the boys with them as they will mistreat them so i am at a l;oss of what to do . Is there some way i can force them to pay for them , then i could take the boys with me and renb a place in the city ?
what a night mare

Welcome to the thai family, you give they take, you have made a rod for your own back, grow a pair and tell them what you want them to do or runaway.

Dragonz.............Just Kick Her & Her Thoms OUT of the house,THE Only answer.....

As regards the 2 boys you have to apply to be there legal guardian but you will probably need the help of a lawyer.
You would have to go infront of a judge and explain what a slapper the mother is (as per your post).
You would then be given legal custody of the two kids and could go and take them away from this mess.(rented accomodation).
As for them paying you any money.....forget it....even if you got a Court Order it wouldnt be enforced.
I hope you dont mind me saying but your wife doesnt seem very supportive of your problem.
Maybe go away for a while and let them focus on living without your income.

You reap what you sow . just saying . However im curious why you gave a guy trying to sell his MU7 not so long ago, such a hard time , then telling him you wanted a pick up , if you dont have a pot to piss in ?
But i now understand why you are such a bitter little man .

Maybe go away for a while and let them focus on living without your income....Brilliant Suggestion Andy, 100% Agree with that........ They'll Soon be

Sorry to hear about your situation Dragonz. Some good advice above. Now that the mother and her friends are home, it would be a good time for you to take a sabbatical away from home. Let them take care of the boys.

Your concern for the children is commendable, but you need to take care of yourself first and consider your options. How much help will you be to the children if you continue to let the rest of the family drain you financially and mentally?

Trying to change your families behavior now will be difficult since you've let them get away with it for the past 10 years.

Good luck.

Why do people take care of others' children?

It's not your responsibility.

I cannot help thinking that if you leave, runoff or take a sabbatical , that they will just find another farang /person to look after the boys..whatever, the boys will survive..but if you want control you would have to adopt.

yes you have made a rod for your own back, but we do that sometimes, and dont know that until later down the track..

yes I believe you have to toughen up. It wont be easy. But You are being used. simple as that, or you are letting yourself be used.,so its up to you to close your wallet, and only open it when you have been rewarded with work from them, ...I am afraid your personal boundries/ rules are non existence at the moment..you are even letting your wife run rough shod over you when she has a decent salary.

( my wife is a teacher on 15,000bt per month, yet she contributes to our relationship, and we have a teenage son, and typical thai family hangers on also) my mantra to them was, you work for me, and I pay you. I not give you money for nothing..they even try coming thru the back door, via my wife, but I have schooled her up to my way of thinking, and so now me and the family get on fine..boundries..

Your lot will just run you into the ground and leave you there, unless to try a new tack.

maaka wrote: ↑

April 17, 2019, 10:38 am

( my wife is a teacher on 15,000bt per month, yet she contributes to our relationship, and we have a teenage son, and typical thai family hangers on also) my mantra to them was, you work for me, and I pay you. I not give you money for nothing..they even try coming thru the back door, via my wife, but I have schooled her up to my way of thinking, and so now me and the family get on fine..boundries..

Your lot will just run you into the ground and leave you there, unless to try a new tack.

Similar thing to maaka for me.

My TG has a Father, more agile and younger than me. So I pay him a monthly salary to maiantain the House and the Farm, which includes, all the garden and lawn cutting chores, weeding, planting, painting & minor repairs, rubbish removal, building my small structures, basically doing anything else that needs to be done during the heat of the day. On a good day I will get about 5 hours work out of him. I probabaly overpay him, but that is another issue - at least I get the benifit of not having to do the work items that I hate to do.

It's taken me a few years to clue her up, that nothing in life is free and that these are the rules. Along with the fact that her priority of giving, must be to her two younger children and their education, before others. So far its working, most of the time

As for the useless brother that tries to hang on, she has one of these too, but he is rarely in the picture and not in favor with either one of us.

pipoz4444

Giggle wrote: ↑

April 16, 2019, 11:12 pm

Why do people take care of others' children?

It's not your responsibility.

Sometimes because they love them. They happily accept responsibility.

The step-daughter seems to have an interesting sex life.

Where the hell is her money coming from? I guess her dosh is why all the toms are hanging around. Presumably the money isn't lawfully earned.

Quite poor your wife does'nt even do the house chores, does she cook for you ?

Regarding the step daughter, it sounds like a lost cause. Just be civil and limit confrontation, sounds like your doing a great job with the 2 boys but i cant see you getting any money from them for that work, the new cars and bikes are probably on the never never finance, which may be getting supported from a farang abroad sending money.

What age are you ?

First there was Eastenders.

Then there were Isaanders.

GT93 wrote: ↑

April 17, 2019, 1:16 pm

Giggle wrote: ↑

April 16, 2019, 11:12 pm

Why do people take care of others' children?

It's not your responsibility.

Sometimes because they love them. They happily accept responsibility.

If that's the case, they should stop grousing. If its not the case they should leave the feral kids with their parents.
Failing parents lead to a failed society.

If you dont feel like they pity you, then that is probably because they infact dont do... It is as the saying goes: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me..

Their culture is nothing that we are used to and understanding it is often an enigma and it is not to be understood... Just do what is right for you, because if you dont love yourself and you dont feel love from others, then there is no need to stick around there.

HA , i at first thought the original poster was just trolling ,(can't believe anyone would live like that for any length of time , yes i know we're not all the same )but it seem's some replies know him , but i still have my suspicions as there has been no response from OP since ,

Always the same story over here "____ wanted baht for ____ and blah blah". "Her English was so good".. "She is my true love"...
yeah ok.
If you cannot wake up or anyone and walk away.
"som na na" to you.

Hoopoe wrote: ↑

April 17, 2019, 11:32 pm

HA , i at first thought the original poster was just trolling ,(can't believe anyone would live like that for any length of time , yes i know we're not all the same )but it seem's some replies know him , but i still have my suspicions as there has been no response from OP since ,

He appears to be not 100%

saint wrote: ↑

April 16, 2019, 1:24 pm

You reap what you sow . just saying . However im curious why you gave a guy trying to sell his MU7 not so long ago, such a hard time , then telling him you wanted a pick up , if you dont have a pot to piss in ?
But i now understand why you are such a bitter little man .

you are the backside of a donkey . i was giving the guy a hard time as his post was and is a load of bull . I never said i do not have a pot to piss in just my pension does not go far enough to rent a place in the city and pay for 2 little boys whio i love dearly