Alimony

[beer monkey]

Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house?

Of these same men 90% will kiss their house goodbye when their wife leaves.




(joke)

ok back to the serious stuff.

[treehugger]

Back to Alagrl & Mainer. I think that the reason for divorce is relevant. Is this a falang dumping his 45 year old wife so that he can get a newer model? Or is this the wife wanting to divorce because her falang husband is a drunkard and beats her? Or is this a falang who has just found out that his wife has been cheating on him every time he goes out of the country? Or has it just reached the stage where they can no longer live together and each would like a new chance?

We all know of people in the above situations, and in each case there is an

[BKKSTAN]

I agree with treehugger,the reasons for the divorce are relevant.Fairness is the real issue here!But I don't know if a falang can get a fair judgement from the Thai courts!
The Thai wives definitely need the courts to protect their interests!I don't think a Thai court can attach pensions and assets outside the country,but if the wife can prove there existence,I would think the courts might consider them in the division of assets here in Thailand!The falang should always consider these possibilities when getting married to a Thai and not put himself in a position that would allow the Thai courts to render a decision that would be grossly unfair!Prenuptial agreements are valid here.I don't have a legal one,but I have given my word and wife accepted it.6 years later,we are at the position that if we were to split up for any reason,it would be a walkaway for me and her too!

[Alagrl]

For those of you with daughters, this is the type of conversation that needs to be had between a father and daughter!

Education and a career that provides independence is more and more crucial in these times. Even then, women are at an earnings disadvantage -- the latest set of stats on careers and earnings between men and women show that, even just out of college, women are entering their career fields at 80% of the entry salaries for men. When women take a career break to be stay-at-home moms (which is a personal decision for every family), they cannot re-enter the workforce where they left it -- too much has changed. And many marriages fail in those years of rearing small children -- lots of stress.

I have to agree with treehugger -- in the best scenario, each person walks away with honor (sorry....honour for the Brits). How to do this? Wish I had the end-all answer, but I don't.

I do know I had a good career, and it made all the difference. I've had two previous marriages, and money was not the issue in the marriage or the divorce settlement.

[Mainer]

Back to Alagrl & Mainer. I think that the reason for divorce is relevant. Is this a falang dumping his 45 year old wife so that he can get a newer model? Or is this the wife wanting to divorce because her falang husband is a drunkard and beats her? Or is this a falang who has just found out that his wife has been cheating on him every time he goes out of the country? Or has it just reached the stage where they can no longer live together and each would like a new chance?

I also AGREE with you treehugger, but what I said earlier was:
"That certainly is NOT a question to be asked in the states!!!!!!! It makes no difference whatsoever."

Or, the reason for the divorce is not brought up when it come time to disuss the money issue. If the married couple had joint assets, it is divided equally, at least in my state. In other words, the divorce will happen... and the marital assets are divided equally... no matter the reason.

[BKKSTAN]

Back to Alagrl & Mainer. I think that the reason for divorce is relevant. Is this a falang dumping his 45 year old wife so that he can get a newer model? Or is this the wife wanting to divorce because her falang husband is a drunkard and beats her? Or is this a falang who has just found out that his wife has been cheating on him every time he goes out of the country? Or has it just reached the stage where they can no longer live together and each would like a new chance?

I also AGREE with you treehugger, but what I said earlier was:
"That certainly is NOT a question to be asked in the states!!!!!!! It makes no difference whatsoever."

Or, the reason for the divorce is not brought up when it come time to disuss the money issue. If the married couple had joint assets, it is divided equally, at least in my state. In other words, the divorce will happen... and the marital assets are divided equally... no matter the reason.

Back in the States,the dependence of the wife is not as great,generally speaking,and the disparity in lifestyles is also not as much as a factor!

[Mainer]

[quote="BKKSTAN Back in the States,the dependence of the wife is not as great,generally speaking, and the disparity in lifestyles is also not as much as a factor![/quote]

I am glad you added "generally speaking". But let's face it, you are generalizing. Even in Thailand there are men who are dependent on the wife. when we speak of divorce, the words, HE and SHE just as well be left out of it.

All countries have their sposal and marriage laws and it sounds like Thailand is going the way of some of the more 'advanced' countries.

[BKKSTAN]

I probably didn't word my post properly to express my opinion!
In Thailand ,there is a greater age difference,Older self sufficient falangs marrying very young undereducated Thai girls that have little means to maintain a raised standard of living brought on by the marriage!In the States ,this less of a case!
Why should these Thai girls not be protected after they have given the falang ,their greatest asset,their youth?

[TJ]

For those of you with daughters, this is the type of conversation that needs to be had between a father and daughter!

Education and a career that provides independence is more and more crucial in these times. Even then, women are at an earnings disadvantage -- the latest set of stats on careers and earnings between men and women show that, even just out of college, women are entering their career fields at 80% of the entry salaries for men. When women take a career break to be stay-at-home moms (which is a personal decision for every family), they cannot re-enter the workforce where they left it -- too much has changed. And many marriages fail in those years of rearing small children -- lots of stress.

I have to agree with treehugger -- in the best scenario, each person walks away with honor (sorry....honour for the Brits). How to do this? Wish I had the end-all answer, but I don't.

I do know I had a good career, and it made all the difference. I've had two previous marriages, and money was not the issue in the marriage or the divorce settlement.

The following is an article that clarifies Alagrl point. sex discrimination has very little to do with the known wage gap:

"In truth, I'm the cause of the wage gap -- I and hundreds of thousands of women like me. I have a good education and have worked full time for 10 years. Yet throughout my career, I've made things other than money a priority. I chose to work in the nonprofit world because I find it fulfilling. I sought out a specialty and employer that seemed best suited to balancing my work and family life. When I had my daughter, I took time off and then opted to stay home full time and telecommute. I'm not making as much money as I could, but I'm compensated by having the best working arrangement I could hope for.

Women make similar trade-offs all the time. Surveys have shown for years that women tend to place a higher priority on flexibility and personal fulfillment than do men, who focus more on pay. Women tend to avoid jobs that require travel or relocation, and they take more time off and spend fewer hours in the office than men do. Men disproportionately take on the dirtiest, most dangerous and depressing jobs.

When these kinds of differences are taken into account and the comparison is truly between men and women in equivalent roles, the wage gap shrinks. In his book "Why Men Earn More," Warren Farrell -- a former board member of the National Organization for Women in New York -- identifies more than three dozen professions in which women out-earn men (including engineering management, aerospace engineering, radiation therapy and speech-language pathology). Farrell seeks to empower women with this information. Discrimination certainly plays a role in some workplaces, but individual preferences are the real root of the wage gap.

When women realize that it isn't systemic bias but the choices they make that determine their earnings, they can make better-informed decisions. Many women may not want to follow the path toward higher pay -- which often requires more time on the road, more hours in the office or less comfortable and less interesting work -- but they're better off not feeling like victims."

[banpaeng]

There are two things here that jump out.

1. Treehugger spotted it right on with the word Honor.

2. I have read and reread this thread. It sure reminds me of the sin sod thread. What is the highest bid for the Thai Lady. I hate to say this but we are married to theThai Lady and not buying people for our pleasure. I might be wrong in saying this but Thailand being a third world country, what they had before the marriage or education level just does not matter. Was that your reason for marrying them. I doubt it so why would it count now in a divorce. If they go to court would you bring up where you met the lady, as if it matters. It is ok to marry but when time to split they are lesser people. If I am reading this wrong so be it, bit that is what I am seeing. In saying that IMO, if you start out the marriage in a money arragement, you will most likely end up one doing the same.

Reading this I have the feeling that falangs feel they are superior. I know a lot of you guys and I do not think you really believe that any more than I do. However reading this sure makes me wonder sometime. Maybe I am just missing the boat but people are people. I might not be to good at remembering that sometimes but I try. When things are at there worst is when we forget some of the things we do not want to become. I just hope this is one of those times.

[Bump]

Fairness does seem to be really good rule of thumb:


So lets to put that thoery in comparison to the real life situtations seen

Thai law says 50% of assests to be divided equally

Real Life one person gets the assets

Thai Law says 50% 0f the liablities to be divided equally

Real Life the person losing the assets also assumes all liablities

Thai Law calls for an indegent spouse to awarded reasonable living expenses. It's interesting that seems to apply to male of female.

Reasonable living expenses hard thing to define, so I will use my houskeeper as an example. Her and her husband earn 10K a month and take care of a family of four and seem to be doing well.

Real life they are seeking multi millions

Even based in Thai law that hardly seems fair to me.

I really don't look at this as an emotional issue, if I were on the recieving end of it I sure would be.

What I'm trying to see is an equitable settlement. What I see in this hardly seems honorable, equitable, or fair.

No I don't look at it as a dowery (sin sod)

Nor do I look at it as buying someone

I don't see someone belittled because they were married to a farrang

Nor do i lokk at it h a being bettre then anyone else.

But I guess we all see what we want to see.

What I see in this hardly seems honorable, equitable, or fair.

[Fred the Farmer]

I think in these situations a good lawyer (and I am doubful we would find one in Udon). I know my friend got half the money from the sale of his house and car in Pattaya. His ex-wife actually took off with the car, and located it himself and took his laywer and police to get it.

But a small problem here is if you build a falung house in the village, its not going to be easy to sell like a house in Udon.

And when you talk about paying alimony, this IMO.... what skills does your girlfriend have......nothing, college degree.....From nothing you would be looking at minimum wage of 139 bt/day (depending on province) roughly 4200 bt/mth......then college degree you are looking at roughly 7-8000 bt/mth........

IMO I couldn't see you paying more than this.

[Bump]

Yes that is a more accurate taste of reality here then millions

All within Thai Law.

Never thought of the instances I knew of. To be anywhere near being within Thai Law.

But this is where it get interesting many times we look for quick ways out and pay enormoues sums we are not obligated to pay, simply because we don't know or trust Thai Law. The few instances I have been involved in actualy the system was in fact fair to me.

Personally I would never approach a devoirce without an attorney, here or anywhere else.