COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post Reply
User avatar
GT93
udonmap.com
Posts: 7848
Joined: June 5, 2009, 9:37 am
Location: Auckland

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by GT93 » June 4, 2020, 3:00 pm

That's a beaut.


Lock 'em up - Eastman, Giuliani, Senator Graham, Meadows and Trump

User avatar
vincemunday
udonmap.com
Posts: 3709
Joined: December 11, 2014, 11:36 pm
Location: Udon Thani ex North Stifford and Ramsgate
Contact:

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by vincemunday » June 4, 2020, 3:53 pm

Certainly is.
Attachments
FB_IMG_1591260808952.jpg
The forest was shrinking daily but the trees kept voting for the axe as its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

User avatar
vincemunday
udonmap.com
Posts: 3709
Joined: December 11, 2014, 11:36 pm
Location: Udon Thani ex North Stifford and Ramsgate
Contact:

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by vincemunday » June 7, 2020, 12:45 pm

One stolen from another forum, sorry Doug 555
Attachments
20200607_124258.jpg
FB_IMG_1591508531871.jpg
The forest was shrinking daily but the trees kept voting for the axe as its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

User avatar
vincemunday
udonmap.com
Posts: 3709
Joined: December 11, 2014, 11:36 pm
Location: Udon Thani ex North Stifford and Ramsgate
Contact:

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by vincemunday » June 7, 2020, 7:07 pm

Scum
Attachments
EF4B9A93-5271-4F2A-8295-11FAB7D6B5EE.jpeg
The forest was shrinking daily but the trees kept voting for the axe as its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

User avatar
stattointhailand
udonmap.com
Posts: 19114
Joined: October 25, 2007, 11:34 pm
Location: Oiling the locks on my gun case

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by stattointhailand » June 7, 2020, 9:46 pm

and they wont let 4 men, a dog & Jon's gran go and watch scunny

User avatar
Udon Map
Admin
Posts: 2840
Joined: July 31, 2013, 7:57 pm

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by Udon Map » June 14, 2020, 8:20 pm

‘If you want a mask at a Trump rally, just go ahead and become a Democrat, you weenie’

From The Miami Herald
By Carl Hiaasen


President Donald Trump speaks during his 'homecoming' rally at the BB&T Center in Sunrise, Florida, on Tuesday, November 26, 2019.

(An absolutely true news item: President Donald Trump doesn’t want supporters to wear protective masks or maintain social distancing at his upcoming campaign rallies, including those in Florida, Arizona and North Carolina — three states in which cases of coronavirus have been rising steadily in recent weeks.)

The Republican National Committee is delighted to announce that the President will be holding an event soon in your city and is happy to answer your questions about the dress code and seating arrangements.


Can I wear a protective mask if I want to?

The President has said he prefers not to see any covered faces in the crowd, because it would needlessly remind people that the country is in the midst of a pandemic.


But lots of the street demonstrators who are protesting George Floyd’s death are wearing masks.

After watching the demonstrations on television, the President has concluded that the masks and facial coverings worn by many marchers are distracting from the serious issue of police brutality against minorities, and also needlessly reminding people about the pandemic.


What if I bring a doctor’s note documenting my respiratory condition? Then can I use a mask?

The President understands that your medical situation puts you at higher risk for contracting the virus, but he would prefer that you stay home and enjoy the rally on television rather than show up with your face covered and ruin the vibe.


But I’m one of his biggest fans! I’ve got a Trump sign in my yard and a “Lock Her Up” banner on my Winnebago. My all-time favorite TV show was “The Apprentice,” especially the season when Meat Loaf freaked out and ...

While the President deeply appreciates your loyalty, he believes the leftist Fake News would fixate on the masks in the audience and overlook the compelling substance of his remarks.


Dude, I just mailed a $1,000 check to his re-election team, and you’re telling me I can’t wear any PPE to his rally? Seriously?

OK, whoa — obviously the President was unaware of your generous donation. Let’s say we made an exception and allowed you to attend even though your mouth and nose are covered. Would you be willing to stay in a remote area of the arena that was blocked off from the view of the liberal media?


No way! I want to be right up front so he can see me cheering and chanting.

Unfortunately, all the visible rows in all the visible sections are reserved for non-mask wearing supporters. But here’s an idea: Instead of seating you in plain sight, what if the President agreed to let you take a selfie with him backstage?


Could I keep my mask on for the picture? Please?

Yeah, whatever. Just don’t post it on Twitter.


Also, can the President stand at least six feet away from me when we meet? My pulmonologist says I should keep a safe breathing space between me and other persons over 65.

While the President has enormous respect for the doctors who’ve been fighting COVID-19 on the front lines, he has decided there will be no social distancing at his campaign rallies.

To show solidarity, his supporters will be seated as snugly as always. The President believes that spacing in accordance with CDC guidelines would make the size of his crowds appear less huge, and also needlessly remind people about the pandemic.


So, if I leave my mask at home, I’ll have to sit right beside somebody who might be infected with the virus?

The President has noted that many of the George Floyd protesters didn’t practice the recommended social distancing. He feels that his own supporters — although older and more vulnerable — should be equally fearless and dedicated.


But I’ve literally got only one functioning lung. I mean, dude, I can’t even blow up a party balloon.

In cases such as yours, we recommend that you bring friends or relatives who have tested negative for COVID-19, and can therefore provide a safe human barrier around you during the President’s speech.


Everybody who wants to come with me has a medical issue. My aunt is diabetic, my uncle needs to drop 30 pounds (at least), my cousin has high blood pressure . . .

For God’s sake, don’t you know anyone with an uncompromised immune system?


FYI, they all wrote big checks to the President’s campaign.

Fine. Tell them it’s OK to wear their stupid masks, but they’ll have to sit with you under the bleachers.


Will there be hand sanitizer, at least?

The President prefers that you bring your own, in an unmarked container.

Oh, to avoid reminding people —

About the you-know-what. Exactly.


Courtesy of The Miami Herald
https://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/opn ... 03196.html

User avatar
vincemunday
udonmap.com
Posts: 3709
Joined: December 11, 2014, 11:36 pm
Location: Udon Thani ex North Stifford and Ramsgate
Contact:

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by vincemunday » June 14, 2020, 10:13 pm

stattointhailand wrote:
June 7, 2020, 9:46 pm
and they wont let 4 men, a dog & Jon's gran go and watch scunny
Another huge fail at being humorous, you sure you're from Essex?
The forest was shrinking daily but the trees kept voting for the axe as its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

User avatar
stattointhailand
udonmap.com
Posts: 19114
Joined: October 25, 2007, 11:34 pm
Location: Oiling the locks on my gun case

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by stattointhailand » June 14, 2020, 10:56 pm

vincemunday wrote:
June 14, 2020, 10:13 pm
stattointhailand wrote:
June 7, 2020, 9:46 pm
and they wont let 4 men, a dog & Jon's gran go and watch scunny
Another huge fail at being humorous, you sure you're from Essex?
You sure your from the right side of the atlantic ? ............Us Essex lads speak English not Septic

User avatar
vincemunday
udonmap.com
Posts: 3709
Joined: December 11, 2014, 11:36 pm
Location: Udon Thani ex North Stifford and Ramsgate
Contact:

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by vincemunday » June 15, 2020, 7:41 am

stattointhailand wrote:
June 14, 2020, 10:56 pm
vincemunday wrote:
June 14, 2020, 10:13 pm
stattointhailand wrote:
June 7, 2020, 9:46 pm
and they wont let 4 men, a dog & Jon's gran go and watch scunny
Another huge fail at being humorous, you sure you're from Essex?
You sure your from the right side of the atlantic ? ............Us Essex lads speak English not Septic
Lost me again I’m afraid.

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries. ... h/humorous
The forest was shrinking daily but the trees kept voting for the axe as its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

User avatar
samster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1137
Joined: June 3, 2014, 2:16 pm

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by samster » June 15, 2020, 2:18 pm

Essex folk. The most unfunny people in the world but, the most unintentionally funny in others. Sorry, is that an unfair generalisation?

User avatar
mech_401
udonmap.com
Posts: 849
Joined: August 13, 2018, 3:59 am

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by mech_401 » June 15, 2020, 3:39 pm

stattointhailand wrote:
June 14, 2020, 10:56 pm
. . . Us Essex lads speak English . . .
come now , there's taking liberties and poetic
license and all that but you're going too far

tinpeeba
udonmap.com
Posts: 358
Joined: March 14, 2006, 2:51 am
Location: London or Udon

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by tinpeeba » July 5, 2020, 3:50 am

Why ants don't get coronavirus.jpg

Chuchi
udonmap.com
Posts: 576
Joined: April 17, 2016, 1:55 pm

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by Chuchi » July 20, 2020, 10:10 am

1595214335141.jpg

User avatar
noosard
udonmap.com
Posts: 3998
Joined: April 17, 2011, 4:07 am
Location: Ban Jumpa Udon
Contact:

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by noosard » July 20, 2020, 10:20 am

110902594_1589305244569946_3677219448765272921_n.jpg

User avatar
vincemunday
udonmap.com
Posts: 3709
Joined: December 11, 2014, 11:36 pm
Location: Udon Thani ex North Stifford and Ramsgate
Contact:

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by vincemunday » August 9, 2020, 7:33 am

Sorry scousers.
Attachments
5C767E2B-A51B-448D-B039-E47D02F8103F.jpeg
The forest was shrinking daily but the trees kept voting for the axe as its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

User avatar
jackspratt
udonmap.com
Posts: 16079
Joined: July 2, 2006, 5:29 pm

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by jackspratt » August 16, 2020, 9:29 pm

IMG_0479.PNG
IMG_0479.PNG (150.91 KiB) Viewed 3818 times

User avatar
samuel
udonmap.com
Posts: 893
Joined: July 31, 2014, 11:00 am
Location: Udon Thani

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by samuel » August 18, 2020, 8:05 pm

leaked from the upcoming movie "falling down - director's cut 2020"
starring Michael Douglas
.
falling_down_2.jpg

tinpeeba
udonmap.com
Posts: 358
Joined: March 14, 2006, 2:51 am
Location: London or Udon

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by tinpeeba » August 25, 2020, 3:25 pm

Covid racoons.png

User avatar
tamada
udonmap.com
Posts: 17220
Joined: February 21, 2007, 4:03 am
Location: Down two...then left

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by tamada » September 11, 2020, 1:27 pm

For those who may be unfamiliar with Boris Johnson's 100 billion quid Covid-19 moonshot...
bojo space cadets.jpg
Houston... we have a problem.

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: COVID-19/Corona Virus HUMOR??

Post by vidmaster » September 11, 2020, 4:09 pm

Decisions decisions
Attachments
76B381CE-9B57-4218-839E-1B14ABCF6B3D.jpeg

Post Reply

Return to “COVID-19/Corona Virus”