You really cant tell can you? (Wife leaves me)

Post by **parrot** » October 12, 2011, 8:41 pm

"How come I'm stuck with a wife that's 55 and I'm 62?"

And how come I could easily count off two hands of American guys who live in Udon today and have been married to the same Thai woman for over 15 years.....actually most well over 20 or even 30 years? And of that group, including a few extras who have died off over the years, had their fair share of hardships.....strokes, macular degeneration, cancer x several, Alzheimer's, ptsd, and yet their wives stood by them til they died. Of that large group, most were the same/about the same age as their wives. And when we lived in the US, we knew many more who had been married to the same Thai woman for 30+ years.
The more I think about it, the more this sounds like the immigration thread......some people have had nothing but good luck with immigration......and some have had nothing but bad. I wonder if there's a link.

Post by **Frankie 1** » October 12, 2011, 11:50 pm

People who think that there are no poor people in Thailand walk with their eyes closed. More beggars in Holland than in Thailand? Well, this clearly shows a complete lack of understanding of the world. there are no beggars in Holland, there are no poor people in Holland, because of state social security for everybody.

Actually, when people write that Thai poor people won't starve in Thailand, indirectly that is true, but it is not because they aren't poor. It is because they live in a community where people take care of each other and share their food with the less fortunate. Food will be provided through the temple, because people in Thailand are more socially connected and help each other out.

This is a completely strange concept for most Farang, a completely different culture. We think individually and we have forgotten what it is like to share with your neighbour. A lot of Farang like to keep their things for themselves, try to protect everything, constantly afraid that somebody will ask them to share something with relatives or neighbours who are less fortunate. If people are so afraid, then what kind of social life do they have? Hang around in bars, bragging about how wonderful they are? Not even having a clue about what goes on outside of their bar, and only pick up some presumptions from other Farang and think those presumptions must be true?

That is why I think that bragging about not willing to share anything by principle, not being interested about the culture of the person they married, is a huge insult, especially to Thai people.

Post by **Frankie 1** » October 13, 2011, 12:29 am

nkstan wrote:...have practically free health services.

The health service, ha ha. What a joke. They have a bigger chance of dying inside the hospital than outside the hospital. I guess you've never seen the inside of a Thai government hospital. If you enter healthy, there is a big chance you will leave the hospital with some disease.

nkstan wrote:Most of the time ,money given to the families is just pissed off.There is ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO SEND MONEY TO THE PARENTS!

How would you know? Only assumptions?

Most people don't have pensions and there is no social security income for people who don't work. Most people in Thailand therefore take care of the older people in their family, it is part of their social life. So (like this was the case in the west a century ago) the family has to take care of parents and grandparents. Or would you rather ignore the older people and send them to the temple to beg for some left-over rice? Then what kind of person are you, how degrading is that for older people? Would you like your child/children to treat you like that?

I't's so easy to look down on other people from your ivory tower. That only shows your lack of social skills.

Post by **Stevo** » October 13, 2011, 2:24 am

blikey
aftr pagrs and grepaso d bodredniss this is muuuuuujch bettrer than tv

Post by **nkstan** » October 13, 2011, 7:33 am

Frankie 1 wrote:
nkstan wrote:...have practically free health services.
The health service, ha ha. What a joke. They have a bigger chance of dying inside the hospital than outside the hospital. I guess you've never seen the inside of a Thai government hospital. If you enter healthy, there is a big chance you will leave the hospital with some disease.
And how would the falang sending money to the family change that?
nkstan wrote:Most of the time ,money given to the families is just pissed off.There is ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO SEND MONEY TO THE PARENTS!
How would you know? Only assumptions?

Well,I have only been here continuosly for 14 years,5 in BK,the rest in Isaan!Had family in Burriram,Prakhonchai,spent a fair bit of traveling.Those begging are usually scammers,aliens or part of an organized criminal mafia.I have seen some Mentally Ill on the streets and I have spent time in several rural villages,speak and understand Thai!

What planet have you been living on?

Most people don't have pensions and there is no social security income for people who don't work. Most people in Thailand therefore take care of the older people in their family, it is part of their social life. So (like this was the case in the west a century ago) the family has to take care of parents and grandparents. Or would you rather ignore the older people and send them to the temple to beg for some left-over rice? Then what kind of person are you, how degrading is that for older people? Would you like your child/children to treat you like that?

Most small villages are like a family sharing together.ever seen someone starving at that level?Which Temple have you seen old people begging for leftover rice.I see regular foodstuffs a plenty.Buddhism is Thailands biggest business!
I don't think you know to much about Thai culture or the World in relationship to being poor.but rather ''get off' on criticizing others that don't have the same emotional response to trauna that you think you have!

I't's so easy to look down on other people from your ivory tower. That only shows your lack of social skills.

You should reread this statement,as you seem to be the one looking down at the OP and seem to think that you recognize ''real poverty'' in this World!I'm not saying that their isn't relative poverty in many areas of Thailand!Just don't see any starving villagers and ,''generally speaking'',a falang being forced to send money to the village family,is just wasted friviously by most that have no money management skills and no feeling of real appreciation!

The reaction in anger by the OP ,or anyone else,is not for a non-expert in emotionally processes,LIKE YOU,to judge!Those suffering emotional trauma say all kinds of things during the ''Anger stage''.The best thing we can do,especially as not being close friends to the OP,is to give support to help them through the grief stages.Not pick apart their posts to make judgements as you seem to consistently do!But ,who knows,it might be part of your ''culture'' or upbringing

Yeah go ahead and challenge my credentials

Post by **merchant seaman** » October 13, 2011, 8:37 am

Most Thais don't have money management skills? Most old men coming to Thailand don't either. My wife's older sister works for The Ministry of Finance and her younger sister is the bank manager at Kisakorn bank in Ban Dung neither have any money management skills?

Post by **grozza** » October 13, 2011, 9:03 am

How would you know? Only assumptions?

Most people don't have pensions and there is no social security income for people who don't work. Most people in Thailand therefore take care of the older people in their family, it is part of their social life. So (like this was the case in the west a century ago) the family has to take care of parents and grandparents. Or would you rather ignore the older people and send them to the temple to beg for some left-over rice? Then what kind of person are you, how degrading is that for older people? Would you like your child/children to treat you like that?

I't's so easy to look down on other people from your ivory tower. That only shows your lack of social skills

yes older people in thailand dont get pensions that they can live off like most countries,but some of these girls that send money home there parents are still at a working age hell in alot of cases the girls parents are younger then her farang husband whos still working his arse off,like i have said to my wife while your parents are still working and able to support themselves theres no reason to be sending money to them which she agrees with,what stan says is right these parents whos daughters partner is a farang think that they have one the lottery and can just stop working and get on the piss all the time.

Post by **Frankie 1** » October 13, 2011, 9:04 am

nkstan wrote:Those begging are usually scammers,aliens or part of an organized criminal mafia.I have seen some Mentally Ill on the streets and I have spent time in several rural villages,speak and understand Thai!

Which Temple have you seen old people begging for leftover rice.I see regular foodstuffs a plenty.Buddhism is Thailands biggest business!

''generally speaking'',a falang being forced to send money to the village family,is just wasted friviously by most that have no money management skills and no feeling of real appreciation!

First of all, the OP doesn't seem to be such a nice guy, so why would I treat him with compassion, as he didn't seem to have compassion for his wife, even before they split up (see his post of June). I think it is ok to be angry, but to go this far, with the name-calling, etcetera, is anti-social in my view.

Secondly, if you see scammers everywhere, then that tells me something about the kind of people you associate youreslf with, so also about you and the social circles you find yourself in. That doesn't mean that that is representative for the rest of the world, only your perception and the type of people you hang around with.

I didn't write that I saw people begging in temples for rice, but that is what you would like them to do, because you think it is not necessary for family members to care for the elderly in Thailand.

Farang are never being forced to do anything. They choose to start a relationship with certain people, at a certain social level, that is their own responsibility. So are the results.

Post by **johnty.** » October 13, 2011, 9:47 am

Hi All,i have not posted on this topic since september as i had nothing new to post(i only hijacked part of it to give my own story) but i have been an avid reader since the begining.My case went to court on Aug17th but i could not be there and my wife was a no show,the judge took no action at that time and i was asked for dates that i could attend,I actually went to court on Tues 11th Oct,gave my story and the judge granted my divorce,in his summing up(according to my lawyer/translator)my wife had brought great loss of face for her husband by taking everything personal to me and shame on her husbands family name,so,divorce granted.To this day i still have only my wifes sisters 4 different reasons why my wife chose to leave,i had phoned,e-mailed and tried through my lawyers to make some sort of contact with my wife but Tik never even contacted my lawyer,just allowed her sister to do it all for her.At the end of the day,my wife made this choice and i have to accept what has happened and get on with my life,i have a clear conscience in the fact that i provided everything i could(financially and emotionally)and we never had a real cross word in over 5 years of being together,when it first happened it is like somebody smashing you in the face with a bat,but as you sit down and reality kicks in,you start to think and remember many good and bad things that happened in your relationship,i will never get full closure on this one,but as i said Tik chose to do this and life goes on,in a small way i slightly admire her for choosing to change her life and whatever Tik chooses to do with her life now,good luck to her.Lastly,thanks to all those friends that listened to my dribble at the time and supported me,you never really know how many "real friends"you have until something like this happens,chok dee to all,Johnty.

Post by **Prenders88** » October 13, 2011, 12:18 pm

This Japanese guy has chosen a different path.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4fw8lCW ... re=related

Post by **parrot** » October 13, 2011, 12:34 pm

"Most old men coming to Thailand don't either (have money management skills) "

Surely you're talking about the men from Burma, Cambodia, Laos.

As for that Japanese youtube video......I only see benefits from such an arrangement, unless they're trained in such colloquialisms as 'honey, before we have sex today, do you think you could cut the grass?', or 'I need a few thousand Baht to dye my hair/buy new shoes', or 'I've been washing your dirty underwear for the past 30 years and I'm not doing it anymore'
I especially like the idea of sitting down at the TV with a big bowl of freshly made popcorn and asking, 'hon, would you like some of my freshly made popcorn?'.....and she says, 'no, thanks'. Talk about bliss!

Post by **BenZona** » October 13, 2011, 6:14 pm

merchant seaman wrote:One thing we haven't been told, and I've been wondering, what's the age difference of the two parties in this on going saga? Some say age doesn't make a difference but IMO it does.

bout 20 years

bamakmak wrote:
What does surprise me is, in this particular post, how Stan could be so wrong in his defense of the OP. In virtually every post made by the OP, he has shown himself to be a self centered a**hole whose only apparent goal in life is to swear and curse about his Thai wife and tell us all how evil she is.

only goal? u sir are an idiot, how can a bit of internet venting be ones only goal.

bamakmak wrote: All the time he keeps bragging about how well he has been able to control his temper.

Indeed i am

bamakmak wrote: My god, if he is this vicious on a public forum, what do you think he was like in the privacy of his home. His wife was probably terrified most of the time and I don't blame her for escaping in the middle of the night.

yes mate, you keep thinking that if it justifies your opinion

bamakmak wrote: Even worse, he now refers to his son (who along with his daughter, is supposedly the most important things in his life) as the "half farang baby" and takes satisfaction in knowing that this "half farang" baby will have no means of support back in Thailand.

You really are quite thick arent you? The very reason i am staying calm and fighting for him is so that he does not have to go back to that shitehole of a village.

Frankie 1 wrote:
First of all, the OP doesn't seem to be such a nice guy, so why would I treat him with compassion, as he didn't seem to have compassion for his wife, even before they split up (see his post of June).

Hahaha if you mean i didnt financially drain myself to support two grown adults in another country ahead of my own life here then you are correct. I live within my means, im not one not the old pensioners with a wallet full of cash and a ***** on each arm. I have spent almost 20k in the past year (au) getting her out here, and other associated things so dont give me any of your bollox about stuff you know jack nonsense about moron, just because i have not bought a mansion for her family does not mean i have not spent a LOT of money OR not given them any.. because i have, just within my means

Frankie 1 wrote:
I think it is ok to be angry

Thanks

but i control it sooooo well. (the irony of cut/paste out of context suddenly dawns on you)

Seriously, i cant believe that some of you dickwads are so brainwashed by your pretty young things you cram endless $$$ into to not see that what she has done is just plain wrong! end of story, full stop.. For those of you that do realise, TY, to the others, seriously, your opinions judgements and LACK OF INSIGHT on what a man goes through when his child is ripped from him overnight makes me believe that you are just dumb retards who are too far into the world of money for love to ever see sense again.

A few Internet insults to a visa seeking liar does not compare to what she has done to me in any way at all.... and the TOTAL BOLLOX she is coming out with to justify it... well...... trust me, not to you, but to the right people, at the right time, i am going to prove it to be total bollox..... 100% .... without doubt, and bring my son home

what else needs to be said hey, so flame away

Post by **merchant seaman** » October 13, 2011, 6:47 pm

What's the age difference between you and your wife? $20,000 in the past year? lot of money, just to get to Oz? Are you supporting your son at the present time? If she gets custody will you support him? Just some senseable questions. Or are you just embarressed that someone got the best of you?

Post by **BenZona** » October 13, 2011, 7:56 pm

merchant seaman wrote:What's the age difference between you and your wife? $20,000 in the past year? lot of money, just to get to Oz? Are you supporting your son at the present time? If she gets custody will you support him? Just some senseable questions. Or are you just embarressed that someone got the best of you?

"merchant seaman"

you can tell.

What the hell is sensible about asking something that has been answered TWICE and in asking if i am sending money to someone who has vanished into thin air and is being hidden in the Brisbane homeless system...., yes mate, im sending money to her by randomly punching in an account number and hoping for the best.

As for the future, he can have anything he needs from me, Thats why he has a room here, a full nursery and everything he needs to be happy for the next year at least... and.... just as my daughter has for the past 12 years BUT If by that you mean am i going to pay for HER to live WITH him until he is 18, not a chance in hell

Let me explain further.....Whenever i begin to feel sorry for her, and there are times that i have, i am reminded by everyone who knows me (and her) she has made these choices, only seven weeks after getting a visa, not me, and therefore feeling sorry for her is not valid
sort of makes sense to me Mr Seaman

next one please......

Post by **merchant seaman** » October 13, 2011, 8:37 pm

So no feelings for your son unless he lives with you? Is that not selfish? It seems to me by this last statement you are only concerned in your own well being and not that of your son. Or is it just a finacial thing to you? Sorry mate but you are nothing but a self centered A hole. You want to punish your son for what your wife did. No let me rephrase that, you want to punish your wife at the expense of your son. Hope your wife finds happiness without you.

Post by **BenZona** » October 13, 2011, 8:48 pm

merchant seaman wrote:So no feelings for your son unless he lives with you? Is that not selfish? It seems to me by this last statement you are only concerned in your own well being and not that of your son. Or is it just a finacial thing to you? Sorry mate but you are nothing but a self centered A hole. You want to punish your son for what your wife did. No let me rephrase that, you want to punish your wife at the expense of your son. Hope your wife finds happiness without you.

I said exactly the opposite you flaming galah..... you are the thickest one yet.. just go steer the riggin or something

Post by **Barstool** » October 13, 2011, 9:43 pm

merchant seaman, you are totally correct. I too find it disgusting and egregious that someone would sacrifice their own offspring, their own son on the altar of conceit and vanity just to gain advantage in a pathetic game of "one upmanship" with an estranged spouse, dumped like trash in a distant land.

Ignominious

Post by **rct** » October 14, 2011, 4:03 am

It IS possible for everyone to communicate their opinions and perceptions, without the name calling. Though must admit the name calling adds some entertainment value.

It appears the wife was not dumped like trash, it is she who dumped the husband, unless I am missing something.

Post by **Frankie 1** » October 14, 2011, 4:53 am

rct wrote:It appears the wife was not dumped like trash, it is she who dumped the husband, unless I am missing something.

Confused? You won't be after the next episode of ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HstmAnXY5r8

Post by **BenZona** » October 14, 2011, 5:58 am

rct wrote:It IS possible for everyone to communicate their opinions and perceptions, without the name calling

It seems not, and its time to bail but i will leave by saying this

It seems some of you are so conditioned by your $$$=love and care thing that you are too far gone for help. I suggest a slow withdrawal from nutty park and a session with a relationship therapist

Since i arrived in may to Udon my life has been an absolute nightmare, I have been hit, abused, bribed, threatened and bullied, I have seen my daughter treated like a piece of dirt, all by ONE woman, and the whole time i was wondering what was going on... I was 99.9% close to leaving her and coming back to Australia alone, and it took the intervention of a friend and his wife to calm her down and bring her behaviour back to normality

This should have been a HAPPY time, the birth of a child, but it was not, it was my worst nightmare.

Now I know why it was going on.....Ive been stitched up, and i feel like an idiot, but...I am hurt, i am angry, and i am sad... but..... at least i am not living in a house where me and my daughter are treated like a piece of nonsense by my own wife.

I now have absolute proof that my wife, and my partner of over two years PLANNED this all along, which means she has sat there for two years waiting for her visa to move her life along, not caring that we had a child, or that my daughter has a brother.

If anyone can do this, bring a child into the world and do this, then they are disgusting people, and anyone who supports it happening, are just as bad but also sad and pathetic. ... so.... If some of you think that is kool, then i feel most sorry for you but, every thing goes right back to the opening title, you never can tell can you?

ANYONE considering doing what i have done, just be careful. Nough said

feel free to lock this thread now Lee. I have nothing more to add