Total Finacial information

[businessman]

It cannot be good for a woman's self esteem if she has to go "cap in hand" for money should she exceed her allowance.

[wansman]

I put something here but too off subject so I took it out, I looked but no delete option.

[businessman]

wansman,if i understand you correctly you would give her everything you have and so would i.No questions about your money is yours and she must get buy on a fixed sum.My wife can have every penny tomorrow,i don't have to think about it.

[arjay]

Do you trust your wife enough to explain your TOTAL financial Picture.

Bandung, ok then, if you insist the answer has to be black or white, and that grey doesn't exist, then I would answer "YES" I TRUST my wife enough to explain my total financial position, BUT I still wouldn't because she wouldn't understand it, nor even be interested in all of it.

And, no I wouldn't give her everything/all my money, because (1) I would have none left. (2) she wouldn't know what to do with it, and (3) I think/hope she would give it back to me to take care of for us both.

I am not sure I understand why you have so many polls ....... If you want an open-forum discussion why have a "poll"? And if you really just want a poll, then do you really want people's view points? It seems in this instance you just wanted the vote, not the view points of the voters.

[valentine]

Thanks Arjay. It would seem if the other writers are to believed, and why shouldn't I believe them, they are very adamnent they are correct. That I have a bad wife, one I don't trust, who is likely to take me to the cleaners any time. whilst every one else has a real darling of a wife, because they give her all their money every month.Maybe I am stupid, not seeing the logic of the argument they espouse. But I will tell you now, if your stupid enough to mention this theory to my wife in person, possibly at the forum meeting, she often attends, don't be surprised if she comes out with a good old Anglo saxon, BALLs.

[Bump]

No not stupid, but wasnt the question was would you reveal it to her not give it to her. Personally I like having my own money and will not let go of that apect of life, does she know what is in the bank Yes.

Sounds to me like Arjays wife is not in the dark about the financial position. How you choose to handle your money openly or to hide it doesn't make you bad or your wife bad simply a personal choice and yes my wife is a little darling, why would I be with her if I didn't belive that.

We argue like everyother couple, but has never been about money. There are many things I would like to see different in our relationship, but I'm far from perfect. They are not major obstacle and seem to come up from time to time. That irriatiate the heck out of me and then seem to go down the road.

[banpaeng]

Mr. Valentine, I would never imply or say you have a bad wife by this thread. To be honest I do not know you or your wife. I tied trust and money together. Guess I could have tied trust and being away for two weeks for no reason just as well. As explained, the subject of trust and money kept comming up, so I tied them together.

To answer the other as to why I put a poll:

I honesty do not think the discussion would have developed if I just wrote:

My wife knows all of my money picture. I sure do trust her.

My intent was to see different opinions. Heck I know a fellow here in the states(in fact more than one) that does things with money that their wife knows nothing about. It seems when they do find out, wether in divorce court or however, they are quite pissed.

Hope this answers this. don't know another way to say it.

[arjay]

Indeed Val, I felt there were 2 separate issues in there, - Trust and Would you tell/explain ALL your finances, - which didn't necessarily fit together 100% for a variety of reasons.

[valentine]

To all those that think you may have offended me, let me assure you, as those forum members that have met me at forum meetings will know. I do not offend easily, in fact only once ever on this forum have I been offended. When someone implied by supporting a point of view, I must be a pervert.One and only time.
I enjoy a lively debate, both written or oral. As a teenager whilst my compatriots were reading comics, I was studying Hansard and have been lucky enough to hear debates conducted by the two masters, Sir Winston Churchill and Sir Lord Boothby.Fascinating!!I sometimes analyse the postings and comment accordingly to stimulate more thought and thereby more response.I am sorry if this offends some people but its not easy to change a lifetimes habit.But for myself, offended never, entertained, always.Keep it going , please.

[banpaeng]

Thanks Mr. Valentine. You said it much better than I as I was only trying to bring out debate. As you said time to move on.

Gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bump]

Ok guilty I was reading comics, whats a Hansard

[yorkman]

Ok guilty I was reading comics, whats a Hansard

Its the record of what was said in Parliament in the UK Ray. I guess Congress and the House Of Representatives will have the equivalent.

It's actually better reading than you would imagine, if you want informing about a particular subject.

[banpaeng]

Thanks Mr. Yorkman. I did not know what a Hansard was either. I do now thanks to you and the same on the US side is the Federal Register. You are so right on interesting sometimes and other times you will go to sleep easily.

[wansman]

wansman,if i understand you correctly you would give her everything you have and so would i.No questions about your money is yours and she must get buy on a fixed sum.My wife can have every penny tomorrow,i don't have to think about it.

Your response is almost correct. Would I give her everything? No I already have. There is no "it's mine and not yours" inour relationship.

Now, after saying that, I would change her access to funds if she suddenly started spending money frivously. Like I said in another topic, Waen wanted to get braces just to get them. Does she have access to the cash to do this? YES. Did she just do it? NO, she asked me about it just like asking about spending an extra 350 baht for bus ticket to visit her sister and I at least agreed to discuss the matter when I get there. With her understanding that this is not a normal expenditure of funds just for appearances. Not like going to salon.

[wansman]

Do you trust your wife enough to explain your TOTAL financial Picture.

Bandung, ok then, if you insist the answer has to be black or white, and that grey doesn't exist, then I would answer "YES" I TRUST my wife enough to explain my total financial position, BUT I still wouldn't because she wouldn't understand it, nor even be interested in all of it.

There is always those grey areas and we just have to accept them or ignore them.

As for explaining a financial position and understanding a financial position these are two distinctly separate things. Setting aside weither you will or will not, look at it from a different perspective.

How will you ever know if she will understand if you do not take the time to explain it in the first place. With knowledge comes understanding. Only after "opening the books" so to speak can she ever begin to ask questions to gain that understanding. How will she ever be able to understand if she does not have the opportunity to ask "why do you do this? How do you get money from a CD? I can only get music from one."

If you die tomorrow and she suddenly finds herself with millions of baht do you want her to not have the ability to live on as a "Knowledgeable " western wife would do or spend it with reckless abandon for 2 years then have to get some job making 200 bhat a day or worse.

Not disagreeing with anyone as Waen doesn't understand these things either at the moment. Perhaps your responses will help me with how I should also go about planning what will hapen to her if something should happen to me. I try to discuss this sometimes with her. Waen, What if something happen to me. She will not discuss it at the moment as she always says "why you want to talk this? you want something bad to happen".

[wansman]

To all those that think you may have offended me, let me assure you, as those forum members that have met me at forum meetings will know. I do not offend easily,

I sometimes analyse the postings and comment accordingly to stimulate more thought and thereby more response.I am sorry if this offends some people but its not easy to change a lifetimes habit.But for myself, offended never, entertained, always.Keep it going , please.

And keep your comments just the way thery are. If we all agreed to agree then the topics that currently seem the most active on this forum could just close up shop and I could send my computer off to the trash heap. I for one always (well almost always) welcome opposing views that not only stimulate the conversation but also my thoughts.

[Bandung_Dero]

Do you trust your wife enough to explain your TOTAL financial Picture.

Bandung, ok then, if you insist the answer has to be black or white, and that grey doesn't exist, then I would answer "YES" I TRUST my wife enough to explain my total financial position, BUT I still wouldn't because she wouldn't understand it, nor even be interested in all of it.

Yes there is a grey area and there is an option to 'vote' for it, and yes opinions should be written BUT:-
1. The question is quite specific.
2. Val chose not to vote and maybe a poll on the topic was the wrong way to go but IMO he tried to turn the topic around by generalising relationships rather than sticking to the agenda.
3. I agree, it is hard for TW to see the overall picture and understand it, but 'interested'? Oh yes, I think you would be hard pressed to find a Thai that wasn't interested as to where money comes from.

[valentine]

Do you trust your wife enough to explain your TOTAL financial Picture.

2. Val chose not to vote and maybe a poll on the topic was the wrong way to go but IMO he tried to turn the topic around by generalising relationships rather than sticking to the agenda.
I am so sorry Bandung, I never realised debating meant following an agenda In my book, that is called, indoctorisation>!!!
.

[banpaeng]

I will have to say and this is for all threads not this one only.

If you read the first post and the last post only, you will scratch your head and walk away never to return.

All threads get turned. Just the nature of the beast.

[Bump]

Its the record of what was said in Parliament in the UK Ray. I guess Congress and the House Of Representatives will have the equivalent.


That certainly would be one of the best places to learn the art of debate.