A Sobering, But Important Read

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jackspratt
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A Sobering, But Important Read

Post by jackspratt » September 1, 2022, 8:22 pm

Worth a read, and something for for us old buggers to contemplate.
Three things I have learned about end-of-life care from treating elderly couples with cancer

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... ith-cancer



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Earnest
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Re: A Sobering, But Important Read

Post by Earnest » September 1, 2022, 10:17 pm

I recognised much of what was written as it applies to many illnesses affecting an elderly parent. Keeping an eye on a parent when they're living alone two to six hours away from their children does change lives. It affects careers and lifestyles. Moving on, I've seen people in my family turn down cancer treatment - sometimes the Chemo and surgery is just too much, especially when you're elderly.
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tamada
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Re: A Sobering, But Important Read

Post by tamada » September 3, 2022, 10:04 am

Good read, thanks.

The NHS couldn't arrange my dad's post-operative care or physiotherapy after six weeks. While still vulnerable, he caught a cold, contracted sepsis and died in hospital. Mum always claimed they'd killed him

Four years later, the NHS's box-checking annual free breast scan said mum needed a mastectomy for a growth that "might" become cancerous. Always one for doing as she was told, she had the op but never recovered and also died in hospital.

In both instances, had my sister or I been closer to home, the outcomes could have been better, even if it was only a more peaceful and dignified passing at home.

More recently, I watched Mrs tam taking care of her dying dad while her mum and siblings mostly let her just get on with it and find other things to do. So when she tells me not to worry and that she'll look after me as shuffle off this mortal coil, i believe her.

Keep in mind that in Thailand, it's preferred that foreigners cash out in a hospital as they can issue a death certificate directly with minimal faff whereas the formalities of reporting a death in one's own private residence requires the MiB to be involved.
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~

'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~

Whistler
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Re: A Sobering, But Important Read

Post by Whistler » September 3, 2022, 2:43 pm

When my time comes, I would prefer to be at home and be with my loved ones.
I had a bumper sticker in Texas that read 'Beam me up Scotty'. I often wish I could find one in Udon Thani

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maaka
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Re: A Sobering, But Important Read

Post by maaka » September 6, 2022, 1:43 pm

I looked after both my parents 24/7 for 4yrs before Himself died of prostrate, and two years later my mother was assaulted in a dementure home and died two weeks later..I was hamstrung and helpless most of the time as I never had Enduring Power of Attorney. I asked Father seven times for it, but no.. Hospitals got nervous because I didnt have it, almost refused to operate on my mother until I told them they had a Duty of Care..,the Home wouldnt let me take my mother out when I wanted to take her back home, because I never had it..Nothing ever goes right for a fella, so like I have told you lot before, get your house in order now...

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tamada
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Re: A Sobering, But Important Read

Post by tamada » September 6, 2022, 7:20 pm

^ Very, very good points indeed maaka, thanks again for sharing. My sister and I had assumed that our dad already had his ducks in a row on enduring familial care only to find some carpets whipped away on his passing. We did manage to get most of them sorted out post mortem and it gave us the opportunity to prepare for the inevitability of mum following. However, we still missed on a key deficiency in dad's planning that had a huge impact on the final estate.
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~

'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~

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Re: A Sobering, But Important Read

Post by choi choi » September 7, 2022, 7:36 am

No Chemo for me! Cancer is like rust....always returns! When ones really old, Best let be!
Spend the money on pain relief. Die in less pain.
As Kennith Willams said. Whats the bloody point"

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