Sin-sod

[jetdoc]

For me sinsodt is very simple, If she is worth it pay, if not don't pay. See how easy that was

[aznyron]

let put in to facts poor thai girl working in a factory makes about 5K a month from that she has to eat and pay rent so the most she can contribute would be 1500 a month and I am being generous to the parents
so when Momma & poppa look for 5 & 10 K a month from there falong son in law and the wife request that much to be given I take issue with that then IMO it time to run. I told my wife if her parents were alive I would keep them well feed but would not give them money and I have a house in the village & they would live there but no way jose am I going to give cash and as for sin sod no way and if the parents are younger than the son in law let them work I would not support a father in law in his 40 or early 50 pumping out kids for your retirement is unfair practice on the children since they life is doomed with out a good education and they can not give it

[banpaeng]

It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.

[aznyron]

It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.

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Brian I am not disputing your post or jetdoc but I will not be scammed because I make more money than a Thai
or be used because my income is good

[banpaeng]

Not sure how you got that Ron as your post was not even on here when I posted mine. We must have been doing it at the same time. Don't even know where you got the scam part.

Again Sinsod and scam are not one in the same. It is part of Thai life. To say it is a scam is disrespectful to Thais. However you can or not choose to indulge. It is truly a simple thing.

[Aardvark]

My Wifes Daughter (15 years old) just got married in June to a Man (24 years old) from a nearby Village and was willing to pay Bt70,000 for Sinsod. The wife declined as she thought they would need the money and the Man moved in to my Wifes house. No way is it a "part of thai life" it depends on who they marry ! If the Girl had wanted a Falang I can assure you the Westerner would have payed dearly for a "Good Girl". I was opposed to the whole thing from the beginning but was told to mind my own business as the Grand parents had already given there consent. Guess who pays all of the household expenses So now I have another mouth to feed

[polehawk]

Wife's nephew invited us to accompany his mother, big brother, other family members, friends and him to Nongbualamphu to "Meet the Parents" of his fiance and set Sin Sod parameters. Actually, think he wanted me to drive them all out there in my van but I respectfully declined the kind offer because I had to make a "non-scheduled, impromptu visit" to Nong Khai Immigration. I wasn't in a chauffeur mood that day and figured that a farang in the woodpile would drive up the price. They paid another village relative gas money to load up a pickup and haul them out there.

Maybe I should have gone along since my negotiating skills couldn't have been any worse than theirs. A deal was stricken as follows.....both principles were married previously and each had a child from their alliances. The prospective groom will have to pay 150,000 baht and 3 baht-weight in gold to the ma-in-law for the privilege of matrimony with her only daughter. Both bride and groom earn good salaries to the tune of 15-20K combined per month and have agreed to pitch in and pay the Sin Sod together with marriage to take place in about a year from now.

Makes you wonder what kind of a deal would have been negotiated if a farang had proposed to this princess?

[pompui]

For me sinsodt is very simple, If she is worth it pay, if not don't pay. See how easy that was

LOL Should have asked Lee for you to do the write up in the magazine and then could have fitted Sin Sodt,Internet dating and Scamming all on one page.

[aznyron]

this thread is getting some action I posted my opinion and feelings about paying sin sod as for calling it a scam being disrespectful sorry but I call it the way i see it if it disrespectful those are my words and they stand as it written. as American with a married Daughter i paid for her wedding not all of it but part my former wife helped as well as my son in law & daughter they all gave a little so I am deeply opposed on families capitalizing on there daughter wedding it a day of joy not a business deal and if there is true love there would be no negotiating sin sod I am also opposed in buying a wife and to me that what sin sod represents

[SanukJoe]

and if there is true love there would be no negotiating sin sod I am also opposed in buying a wife and to me that what sin sod represents

A shame you didn't read my earlier post (or you don't believe me ). No way you are buying your future wife by paying sin sod. As has been posted before it's a compensation for lost labour of the daughter, that's one. It also shows that the future husband (you) has enough means to support his wife and future kids. That is the Thai (Isaan) tradition and it is not up to us to disrespect that.
The "negotiations" are big fun and not serious at all as all parties know the groom and bride will marry anyway. Jokes are made, drinking and eating are obligatory and at the end there is an agreement.
In my case I did not pay sin sod as such but promised to improve the housing of the parents and help in improving their cattle breeding by buying an excellent bull
That "generous" offer would cost me approx. 100K, before that the parents gave a piece of land to us (2 rai) which would have cost the same if I would have bought a similar piece of land. So we built our house on it and improvements to the parents housing have been made in the meantime, I don't support them in any other way.

Joe

[SanukJoe]

For me sinsodt is very simple, If she is worth it pay, if not don't pay. See how easy that was

If she's not worth it, drop her!

Joe

[plien]

Thank you la and Joe for giving some thought to my questions.
Plien

[plien]

My Wifes Daughter (15 years old) just got married in June to a Man (24 years old) from a nearby Village and was willing to pay Bt70,000 for Sinsod. The wife declined as she thought they would need the money and the Man moved in to my Wifes house. No way is it a "part of thai life" it depends on who they marry ! If the Girl had wanted a Falang I can assure you the Westerner would have payed dearly for a "Good Girl". I was opposed to the whole thing from the beginning but was told to mind my own business as the Grand parents had already given there consent. Guess who pays all of the household expenses So now I have another mouth to feed

Hello Aadvark. Do I understand it right that you provide for the whole family but have no say?
And you are also supporting the grand parents. but they call the shots?
And a young man bought his way into a family wich a farang provides for is now himself also taken care of?

Thanks for sharing this situation as its an example to where I wanted to go with my previous posts here.
Plien

[aznyron]

Joe you said if she not worth it drop her is this after you pay the sin sod or before I read your post
I have no disagreement with it if you read my earliest post paying sin sod is a personal choice
I just posted my opinion on that form of tradition. and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family. some how they must think we are fools now I do want to say it not the majority of families that this happens in but far to many that it should be posted and talk about.
I went to my wife niece wedding which she is now my niece the village people who attended all wanted me to buy beer which I did but I had to cut it off other wise it would have gone on all night BTW I do not drink or smoke so I am also opposed in supporting other peoples vices.

[beer monkey]

the village people who attended all wanted me to buy beer

Wow...were they invited or just in the neighbourhood and gatecrashed the party...thats a bit Kin-neeow of them...they should have brought you the beers.

but I had to cut it off other wise it would have gone on all night

Fortuneatly my Mrs won't stand for any of that either....so she takes care of it if it does arise, i stopped years back, and they all know where they stand.

[Fawn]

It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.

Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate.

[papaguido]

and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family.

I guess I'm in the minority. At every family gathering I've been to I've never been asked for a single satang. Even though we've offered to give a little something towards a family social event it's been refused only to be told that we're their guest.

[nifty]

I gave 100,000baht as sin sod and after the wedding the 100,000 baht was returned to me and then gave papa 3,000 baht for looking after the money all day of the wedding, we found it wrapped in a towel lying on his bed with the door open
3 baht gold was shown which was already my wifes she took it off the night before gave to me.

[jetdoc]

"Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate."
My decision to marry was based on tax advantage only, we were happy just living together. The reward has been awesome in 5 short years saved about 10 times the amount I paid in sinsodt. I wish all my investments were this fruitful. Although your statement is correct my desperation was financially based as opposed to emotional.

[banpaeng]

It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.

Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate.

Not sure what you meant. Was not desperate, neither did I say I paid or not. Guess somethings come easy for some and some not.