Hey Pops, can I join your club. Have been to many village functions and very seldom coughed up any Baht. It is just not wife's village but in several functions I have attended.papaguido wrote:I guess I'm in the minority. At every family gathering I've been to I've never been asked for a single satang. Even though we've offered to give a little something towards a family social event it's been refused only to be told that we're their guest.aznyron wrote:and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family.
Sin-sod
Re: Sin-sod
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Re: Sin-sod
I wish I had done ' sin sot ' - woudn't still be shelving out for me father in laws - beer every month ,and er'es me in the UK - half skint - and that old sod's on the piss everyday!! , woudn't change it for the world though - suppose he deserves it that age,
Re: Sin-sod
I think I'm lucky in the sense that a majority of my wife's family are university educated working professionals. A majority are educators and a few retired with gov pension. Life in the ville (Ban Fang) centered around the grandmother who recently past away. The aunties & uncles still living in the ville own much of the land that is rented out and additional income supplements their pension.banpaeng wrote:Hey Pops, can I join your club. Have been to many village functions and very seldom coughed up any Baht. It is just not wife's village but in several functions I have attended.papaguido wrote:I guess I'm in the minority. At every family gathering I've been to I've never been asked for a single satang. Even though we've offered to give a little something towards a family social event it's been refused only to be told that we're their guest.aznyron wrote:and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family.
In regards to sin sod, I have been to 3 wedding ceremonies and have witness 1 sin sod negotiation. In each case the money went towards the wedding, reception and head start money towards the couples future.
Re: Sin-sod
==============================================================================================jetdoc wrote:"Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate."
My decision to marry was based on tax advantage only, we were happy just living together. The reward has been awesome in 5 short years saved about 10 times the amount I paid in sinsodt. I wish all my investments were this fruitful. Although your statement is correct my desperation was financially based as opposed to emotional.
I don't believe you I believe you love your wife more than life you see we are friends i see how you act around her
& I am no different all though I did not need a tax exemption what I need is taxable income I am broke
Re: Sin-sod
aznyron wrote:Joe you said if she not worth it drop her is this after you pay the sin sod or before I read your post
What I meant is that if you are of such a level that you put a price tag on your future wife and you feel she is not worth paying sin sod, don't discuss sin sod nor an eventual marriage with her but drop her as you don't give a damn about her!
I have no disagreement with it if you read my earliest post paying sin sod is a personal choice
true
I just posted my opinion on that form of tradition. and let be honest about it once your married in to the family many family members start to take liberties and expect you to pay for there vices such as smoking & drinking it namely the men in the family. some how they must think we are fools now I do want to say it not the majority of families that this happens in but far to many that it should be posted and talk about.
I went to my wife niece wedding which she is now my niece the village people who attended all wanted me to buy beer which I did but I had to cut it off other wise it would have gone on all night BTW I do not drink or smoke so I am also opposed in supporting other peoples vices.
As you can read from other posters not every one is unlucky or foolish to pay for the inlaws. I have no problem either as when the two brothers of my wife come over they buy so much beer for me that I feel it's my turn now and buy them beer, never cigarettes as I don't smoke
On the other hand, when they need money (they always do in spite of having a job) they call my wife who takes care of it with a simple refusal, so never a problem.
When some event in the village some people ask me to buy them a beer, my answer always: send me your beautiful daughter or sister, if you have one, and I will buy her a beer. I smile, the guy smiles and leaves... problem solved =D>
Re: Sin-sod
jetdoc wrote:For me sinsodt is very simple, If she is worth it pay, if not don't pay. See how easy that was
banpaeng wrote:It is amazing how folks have tried to spin the Sinsod to make it palatable for them. However Jetdoc summed it up well and that is the truth, plain and simple.
Fawny wrote:"Er no, if she wasn't worth it then you wouldn't be marrying her, unless you were desperate."
I've no argument with that.jetdoc wrote:My decision to marry was based on tax advantage only, we were happy just living together. The reward has been awesome in 5 short years saved about 10 times the amount I paid in sinsodt. I wish all my investments were this fruitful. Although your statement is correct my desperation was financially based as opposed to emotional.
I wasn't referring to you personally but using 'you' in its plural form rather than singular, that is, us as a community in general. I have no idea on the state of your marital relationship so I wouldn't comment (it's also bad form).banpaeng wrote:Not sure what you meant. Was not desperate, neither did I say I paid or not. Guess somethings come easy for some and some not.
JD has qualified his statement through outlining his financial reasons to marry. However, I'm referring to the emotional dimension. Sin Sod becomes less of an issue (within reason) if you commit to a Thai woman through marriage. I amplified Sanuk Joe's comments before me:
In other words, you can't be that committed to a woman if you feel her sin sod is a major issue because the benefits of a future life together far outweigh the financial dimension. Of course, all this falls by the wayside if she has a family that's concerned with its future financial well being at your expense. Then you have to ask yourself whether it's all worth it.Sanuk Joe wrote:If she's not worth it, drop her!
The four of us probably agree but we're coming at the issue from different angles.
Doug! Doug! Doug!
Re: Sin-sod
In my opinion it's may right or wrong some but it's an opinion. Long time ago to prove a man ready to marry and grow enought to pay sin sod to his bride and Sin Sod is like some money give to parent and when they break up parent still take care of that girl. Thailand we have no law to let man pay to help ex wife to feed thier baby when they break up. So the one who can help that woman is her parent. I don't know it's the culture. You love Thai girl and she has her reason for this tradition.
Re: Sin-sod
Why not try bringing little Boys up to respect Women, and take responsibility for there Children that would be a good start !!
Re: Sin-sod
My Thai Wife, who can be a bit of a handful, cost me 20k baht in sin-sod. Not a bad result considering.
OT...knows a bargain when he sees one...
OT...knows a bargain when he sees one...