Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Thai Society and culture, Living in Thailand.
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parrot
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Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by parrot » February 10, 2022, 2:44 pm

I haven't been to a Thai funeral in a while, but one of our neighbors died and I took the opportunity to pay respects. A few observations:
Maybe 100 people attended......along with 15 or so village volunteers. No mask? A volunteer would get that corrected......along with obligatory temperature checks and alcohol sprays when getting seated.

Several village kids having a ball. One, no shoes but with a spiderman suit and cape. Another few also barefoot running ragged on the hot gravel.

Kerry made two deliveries......I'll guess the customers were called while not at home and asked for temple-delivery. Can't get more convenient than that!

Thai funerals are similar to Thai weddings. Anything goes when it comes to fashion......flaunt it if you got it, otherwise, t-shirts, flip-flops, and shorts and spiderman suits are acceptable.
The woman who died was a mere 56.....been in bad health for a year. Diabetes among other things.

I've gotten some chintzy things at funerals over the quarter century......lots of bottle openers in the early daze, but those seem to be out of favor. Today's surprise offering was a cereal-size glass bowl with one of those jello desserts and a small handful of candies. The family was also passing out tiny flashlights......but I got about 5 of those at the last funeral I attended, so I declined.

I've been to my share of funerals.....US and Thai. I prefer the Thai version.



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Khun Paul
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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by Khun Paul » February 10, 2022, 3:36 pm

I agree Parrot, however have attended a few Farang Funerals, watching the Crem Men attempt to manhandle an overly large man onto the obligatory trolley in order to insert into the furnace and once it was such a tight fit it made me wince.
OPne wonders why they do not place the body onto the trolley in the first place, makes for a smoother insertion.

That is really my only bug bear .
If I was the deceased I would not worry , but have noted one or two WATS where the OVEN is small so they are off my list of place where I can be dealt with.

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AlexO
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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by AlexO » February 10, 2022, 4:12 pm

Khun Paul wrote:
February 10, 2022, 3:36 pm
I agree Parrot, however have attended a few Farang Funerals, watching the Crem Men attempt to manhandle an overly large man onto the obligatory trolley in order to insert into the furnace and once it was such a tight fit it made me wince.
OPne wonders why they do not place the body onto the trolley in the first place, makes for a smoother insertion.

That is really my only bug bear .
If I was the deceased I would not worry , but have noted one or two WATS where the OVEN is small so they are off my list of place where I can be dealt with.
You still have to get the body off the trolley and into the furnace chamber. The coffins also contain all the little bows and paper thingy's that obviously help with the cremation of the body.
But you are right about size, watching the lad who ran C2MY (Andy) being crowbarred into the chamber will send shivers up my spine for years to come.

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by parrot » February 10, 2022, 6:09 pm

At today's funeral, as the guests were going up to place funeral flowers (ดอกไม้จันทน์) on the casket, the casket was open......so the flowers went on the body. When Thais do an 'open casket funeral' they mean it!

An American friend was adamant that he be buried, not cremated. Although not a churchgoer, he tried reserving a spot in St Mary's cemetery. No luck. He searched and found a place at the Catholic church half-way to Nongkai.

If I was concerned about the crematorium squeeze, I'd search around and find a temple that has a one-size-fits-all sort of oven. To the best of my knowledge, there's nothing that requires your funeral service to be held at a specific temple.

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by stattointhailand » February 10, 2022, 7:14 pm

Im sure that when it comes to some of Udonmaps finest popping their clogs, the size of the temple will be a contributing factor in trying to handle such large numbers who want to make sure for themselves its not a hoax

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by Drunk Monkey » February 11, 2022, 6:57 am

Dont attend many funerals if at all possible

but.. whilst in Udon i recall 2 funerals that were a tad strange .. Tony Prenders (prenders88 on UM) a very tall big fella whose feet were sticking out the end of the quickly adapted coffin, someone nicked his Nike trainers during the ceromony ..(he would ov loved that his sense of humour) ...that was topped by Eddie from Ban Dung who was burned on an open fire in the temple field , both Dao n I had never experienced this style of funeral until Eddies.. smashing bloke still think about him and talk to Pin his missus.

Sadly most recent was Graham Wood (Valiant on UM) very good friend , massive Port Vale fan and UFES member .. gone but never forgotten.

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by Bandung_Dero » February 11, 2022, 7:12 am

2 weeks ago Mrs Dero's favorite Aunt passed away (dementor/old age). It was attended by the Or Bor Tor, all the local Puyi Baans and 100's of people. After the Monks doing their thing it dragged on and on and on = Thai's and their speeches finished by representatives from 2 insurance companies with placard sized cheques (one 450K Baht the other 300K Baht). IMHO insurance companies fulfilling their obligations is no big deal and they had no place being their.
I wasn't impressed when my name was called out to present one of the Monks with an orange towel.

I did note that all there were well dressed in black with shoes (accept me, jeans & flip flops - had no black pants or shoes), all had masks. Yep, some kids being kids, the flowers were placed on a closed casket and NO fireworks.

1st Thai funeral I have been to for 10 years or so, hopefully the last.
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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by Bandung_Dero » February 11, 2022, 7:30 am

Drunk Monkey wrote:
February 11, 2022, 6:57 am
...that was topped by Eddie from Ban Dung who was burned on an open fire in the temple field , both Dao n I had never experienced this style of funeral until Eddies.. smashing bloke still think about him and talk to Pin his missus.

DM
I was told Eddies casket was open because some bastard stole the lid 55555 - so there he was on an open fire in an open casket AND it wasn't a big fire at that, not a pleasant sight!

Anyway they have built a proper furnace on the site now

RIP Eddie, sorry if anyone is offended by the photo but it is what it is.
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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by Khun Paul » February 11, 2022, 7:41 am

I saw the post about burial, remembered a fw years ago talking to a Thai friend who was a Catholic and asked why the Church did not have a Crematorium as burials are rarer. He stated I think that they have dealt with the problem, but as the ground was so hard, the caskets were not low enough in the ground and use to float up to the surface after heavy rains .
H said one or two of the WATS will allow NON-Buddhist cremations, with NO Monks present if required but it will cost you a bit more.

Most catholics just go for the locals Wats . Burial is not really an option here .

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by parrot » February 11, 2022, 9:54 am

The tiny corner that makes up St Mary's Cemetery continues to grow. There are over 24 Americans interred there. Of those, probably 12 were cremated......but I believe Tommy Thompson (TJs Restaurant) was the last person whose cremated remains were placed there. There's a fair number of Europeans buried there as well. Some early casualties of the daze of Udorn Air Base, the American children of an Air America family (the first Americans buried there, to the best of my knowledge, 1967), along with Glenn Woods who shares the distinction of having shot down an enemy fixed-wing aircraft over Laos from a helicopter.
https://m.facebook.com/Central.Intellig ... 939290209/
I'll guess that long-time, regular church-goers at St Mary's can still find themselves a spot in the small cemetery.

Other Americans are buried at St Joseph's Church mid-way to Nongkai and at a ?Christian? cemetery about 10km out on the Udon-Nongbualamphu Hwy.

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by jackspratt » February 11, 2022, 10:27 am

There is a fair sized Christian cemetery in Phon Sung, near Ban Dung, with some large and impressive headstones.

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by glalt » February 11, 2022, 10:41 am

Totally leaving religion out of it, 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" is often repeated at funeral services. What difference does it make whether a person is cremated or buried? As for myself, I don't care what happens after my body is dead. I told my Thai wife that I don't want a party or any big affair after I am dead. She quickly told me to shut my mouth because it is NOT up to me.

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by semperfiguy » February 11, 2022, 2:40 pm

I spent the last 13 years of my business career as manager of the largest funeral homes and cemeteries in the Knoxville, Tennessee area. During that time I made arrangements for and attended around 3500 funerals, so I am no stranger to the processes of death and dying. In the Southeast part of the US, traditional ground burial or mausoleum entombment is still preferred, but in some areas of the West and Northeast, the majority of bodies are cremated. Most of that has a lot to do with the religious beliefs of people in the so-called Bible Belt as compared with other areas of the US where Believers are much more scarce. The early Christians would never burn a body, for such a method of disposing of the body was reserved solely for criminals and the dregs of society. Maybe they got it right, but I guess none of us will know until we get to the "other side".
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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by Khun Paul » February 11, 2022, 3:36 pm

When it comes to Cremation versus Burial, I hark back to when man was first discovered in even Neolithic times , they had Cremation there, burying the bones , a far healthy way of disposing of the dead .
The spirit ( life force ) has already left , what is left is purely the vehicle in which it existed in , in my book if it was good enough tens of thousands of years ago, nothing has changed .

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Re: Funeral Rights/Wrongs

Post by stattointhailand » February 11, 2022, 3:49 pm

But 10's of thousands of years ago there werent religious organisations brainwashing the public so that they could make a hefty profit from people dying

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